Toxic Thoughts

Chapter 4: Happiness?

"What the hell are all you morons looking at?"
Bakugou glared at the four idiots who were staring at him as he was spreading out the things he needed for the dinner he was going to cook.
"Whatcha making dude?" Kaminari asked curiously.
"That's none of your fucking business, dunce face"
"Aw, come on man. Let us know what we're eating tonight!" Kirishima laughed, making Bakugou's eyes widen for a moment.

"What?"

"Yeah, you're cooking for, like, half the class, right?" Mina asked, glancing over the ingredients.
"You're not using a recipe?"
"Only amateurs use recipes" Katsuki snapped, surprised they were still willing to eat what he was making. Weren't they disgusted by the fact he had touched it?
"So? What's on the menu tonight dude?" Sero asked. Bakugou frowned as he was met with questioning gazes and let out a long, annoyed sigh.

"Udon" he muttered, grabbing his knives.
"Now fuck off before I kill you!"
The four of them laughed as they ran off, amused by Bakugou's antics rather than afraid. Katsuki frowned, taking a breath before starting on the udon. He noticed half of the class was sitting in the living room, discussing something in hushed whispers like he wasn't supposed to hear it. It's probably about their plans for tomorrow...

Luckily they're doing it in the weekend so he has two days to just hide away in his room and sulk. Not like he wasn't planning on doing so anyway, but still...
"Stupid idiots..." he muttered underneath his breath while cooking, trying not to give them too much attention. Yet he couldn't help but feel a smile tug on his lips. They still wanted to eat his cooking... So maybe he wasn't so useless after all...

After the food was done, he took his own portion and left the rest in the kitchen, like he always did. He sat down alone at the table, the soft thud of his plate hitting the wood alarming the others that he was done with the food.
"Yeah! Dinner!" Denki cheered, shooting up and running towards the kitchen.
"This smells so good!" Ashido smiled, now standing next to the electric blonde.

They all sat down with him after taking a portion, Kirishima next to him and Kaminari on his other side, Ashido in front of him with Sero next to her.
"What the hell are you extra's doing?"
"Thanks for the food Bakugou!" they all said in sync before they started eating. Katsuki huffed, grumbling quietly to himself as he ate the udon. As long as they didn't annoy him too much, it couldn't hurt to let them sit here, could it?

He knew he was letting himself get closer, but he was unable to stop himself from doing so. It'll only cause his heart to break even more tomorrow anyway. So why does he do it? Why does he torture himself so much by being around them? By listening to their careless banter and silly jokes. Their small talk about the weather getting colder, about school getting harder. Acting like normal, regular high schoolers... He couldn't really express how he was feeling about all of this...

After dinner he went up to his room, leaving the dishes to the others as per their request. He locked the door behind him, like he always did. Sighing, he dragged a hand down his face, hovering over his chest as he clenched his shirt.
"Fuck..." he whispered to himself, groaning as he stomped over to his desk, pulling out his notebook to start writing down what he was feeling.

Floating
Like a feather in the wind
A leaf in the stream
Drifting away from reality

Peaceful
Without sorrow
Without knowing what will come
After the current turns

Falling
Into an endless blue void
Sinking
But not suffocating

Not knowing when the path will end
Nor if it will
But without worry
Knowing that everything is okay