Destiel Oneshots

So far he passed Narnia {Destiel/Sam + Dean}

Trigger warnings:
mention of child abuse, homophobia, and internalized homophobia

It started in 1994, a few days after Dean's sixteenth birthday.

It was a simple case, just a salt and burn, but after John had made the connection that the ghost only killed gays, he turned it down, dragging Dean and Sam out of the city as fast as he could.

The feeling had come as the impala sped along the highway, the city only a silhouette in the background. An odd feeling in Dean's gut that made him sick in a way he couldn't quite explain. Guilt. That's what he told himself, as he glanced back from the passenger seat and to the city, guilt that those innocent people were dying, and they were doing nothing. Illness, is what he told himself as those feelings came back everytime his father spat out the word faggot in disgust, or turned down a case invloving a gay couple. Broken, is what he told himself anytime his eyes lingered on another man for more than a second.

They only stayed as feelings until 2002, at the age of 23. They'd just completed a case in Arizona, him, his dad, and Lee, and maybe him and Lee had a little too much to drink, and had gotten a little to close. Their hands wandering across each other, lips connecting, then clothing was being removed, lips wandering, touch grazing. And maybe Dean knew his dad would be back soon, and that when he did he'd beat Dean until he couldn't walk for days, and maybe Dean wanted it. The reminder that the feelings had to stay away, that he was broken, and maybe that's why Sam had ran away.

He never saw Lee again after that, or had the feelings, and deep down Dean could believe he was fixed. That was all he needed was a beating that was until Castiel came.

Then the feelings came rushing back, the guilt, the turning in his stomach, the absolute dread anytime Cas stared at him with such intensity. But it was all worth it to be with Castiel for as long as he could, watching his ocean blue eyes, the way he tilted his head, and his unusual traits that must've come from being an angel. The way he would at times stand frozen, not even breathing as if just a statue, or the lack of heat that radiated from skin, but not cold either, just nothing. All the things that made Castiel so much different than anyone else.

As the time rolled on and Dean fell further in love with Cas he began dropping hints to his brother. Unable to say the word himself and hoping that Sam would do it for him. He talked about doctor sexy, and the news as more states legalzied gay marriage. Anything that would get Sam's attention, so his brother could fix the guilt he always felt, tell him it was okay, make him feel better about himself like Sam always did.

The feeling's and stares only continued, for Cas, and then Benny, eyes lingering longer then they should, thoughts going places they shouldn't have. For the siren that had seemed like the perfect man, for victims they were helping and celebrities on tv.

The feelings only spiraled until 2015 came, a few months after Amara had brought Mary back, when Dean and Sam's life had fallen back into place. Spending most of the summer working on small cases, like normal, until one night when they were alone in a cheap motel room, the same day gay marriage had been legalized across the country. As they had worked the case, the rest of town had celebrated, the streets filled with music, dancing, and pride, more than Dean had ever seen. Everyone so themselves without fear of judgment

"Sammy." Dean asked that night, he was sat on one of the motel beds, facing his brother who was spread across the other scrolling through his laptop "Can I talk to you?"

"Yah of course."

Sam sat up properly, putting the laptop to the side. He moved his legs over the side of the bed and faced Dean, the concern in his eyes unmistakable. "So- it's kinda important, and i've been meaning to tell you for a while."

Dean paused waiting for his brother to say something though Sam stayed silent, "I know it might be a surprise, and I know you'll be okay with it, I mean I think you will-"

"Are you going to tell me, or?"

"Im- Im a type AB blood."

Sam frowned, his eyebrows furrowing, "Why- wha- I know that."

"Well yah, but just in case you forgot."

"Dean," Sam insisted, his voice dropped slightly becoming serious. "You can tell me anything."

Dean opened his mouth but the words wouldn't come out. Why couldn't he be like the people in the streets, proud about it, loud and not caring about what others thought, why was it so hard for him. He hated himself for being who he was, and he hated himself even more for not being able to be proud about who he was. But most of all he hated the loyal part of him, the part that even now, wanted to keep his dad happy, not shatter the loyalty he'd spent his whole life building.

"I'm," Dean choked out, his vision becoming foggy with tears, Why couldn't he just fucking say. "Sammy," Dean begged

His brother didn't say anything instead he stood, and took a seat next to Dean. At first Sam hesitantly put an arm around him, but as Dean lent into the touch Sam pulled him into a tight hug. "It's okay," Sam finally whispered, "you don't have to tell me."

Dean didn't reply, his tears breaking into sobs as he gripped tightly onto his brother, holding on as if Sam was the only thing keeping him alive. He wished he was dead, or normal. Everything would've been easier if John had just killed him.

Sam's hand rubbed across his back but it didn't nothing to calm Dean's shaking body. His face stained with tears and snot. "I'm broken," Dean finally choked out.

Sam shifted away slightly to see Dean's face though Dean kept his eyes down. His sobs had died down though tears continued to roll down his cheeks, dripping off his chin and falling to the bed. "Why would you think that."

"because-" Dean began, voice barely above a whisper. He didn't care how childish it was, sobbing on a bed at thirty six, but it was all he wanted, to shatter and for once have someone else pick up the pieces. "I'm- I'm."

He let out a shaken breath before looking up to his brother. "I'm gay."

Sam's face immediately dropped, and with it Dean's heart. The word seemed to hang in the air, leaving Dean no longer gasping for breaths but instead holding it. He shouldn't have said anything, maybe he should've brought his dad back to beat him one last time instead. "Dean-" Sam began, his voice soft, "I love you so much."

Dean lent forwrd as his brother once gaian wrapped in a tight hug, "I love you so fucking much and nothing is going to chnage that, I promise. You're my brother."

"Thank you," Dean whispered, tears beginning to fall once again though this time in relief.

"Does this mean you and Cas?"

Dean laughed nodding his head, "is that okay?"

"Yah, as long as you're happy."

- - -
Happy Thursday everyone!
I hope you enjoyed the one shot! It
May be the last one for a while cause I'm kinda running out of ideas but hopefully I can think of something!
I hope you all have amazing days, be kind drink water!
Lots of love Paige x.