Ship Ratings And Headcanons

Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared headcanons

•Paige and Tony have a murduring kink
•Surprisingly, Paige is really good with kids.  The only child she'd ever harm is Manny but even then she's mostly sweet with him
•Paige has mood swings 24/7.  No one ever knows what mood she's in and that's why she is in charge of the teachers because everyone fears her.
•Colin is the gayest thing out there but Larry is a bi bitch
•Larry was an alcoholic until he and Colin started dating.  He gave up drinking for Colin.
•The backstory of the trio goes like this.  Harry had a wife and they lived in the house that the trio lives in now.  After only a year of being married, she got cancer and passed away.  Unfortunately that same year, Robin had just gotten evicted from his own apartment because he could no longer afford to pay rent.  Harry told him he could move in with him.  One day while going out for a morning stroll, they found a child in their doorstep.  They decided to adopt him as part of the family.  Though technically Harry and Robin are Manny's adoptive parents, Manny always called them Harry and Robin instead of dad.
•Roy is actually legitimately evil.  Poor Manny is too naive to understand Roy's a bad person.  Harry and Robin do everything they can to keep Roy away from Manny
•The teachers were created by Roy in an attempt to destroy the trio.  It worked until the teachers realized they were just being used.  They are no longer evil and no longer murder or torture anyone.  Well most of them (cough cough Paige and Tony)
•Shrignold used to be homophobic/transphobic and everything else but it wasn't until Colin came out to everyone that for once Shrignold went against the beliefs of the love cult/organization thingy
•The trio still doesn't necessarily trust the teachers but they've gotten used to them being around.
•Everybody hates Roy (we won't count Manny in this I'm talking adults)
•Manny's "special one" has a kind of sad backstory.  She was abandoned as a toddler until Shrignold found her one day.  He took her in and the other cult members tried to do the initiation on Lilly.  Ofc Shrig didn't want that for her so he told them he'd do it himself.  Instead, Shrignold told her that around the other members, her name is Special One and she had to pretend like her name had been changed and her brain had been cleaned.  He'd secretly take Lilly to school where she got her other nickname, Missy.  Her and Shrignold have formed a brother-sister-like bond.

The format will now change because I made a google doc before this and totally forgot about it.

HEADCANONS!!!

PERSONALITY

Paige~
•Green sucks!
•Good with kids
•PMS literally all the time
•Super perky
•Art is life (obviously...)
•Great advice-giver

Tony~
•Kinda snobby
•Perfectionist
•Screams at people who don't know what they're talking about when it comes to time
•Super serious but can be a huge flirt
•Seems emotionless but would murder the mf that hurt you
•Annoying af- especially in the mornings

Shrignold~
•The ultimate shipper
•The biggest flirt you will ever meet
•All he does is talk about his love cult
•In addition, his favorite things to say are things like, "Oh my Malcolm!", "What in the name of Malcolm!" etc.
•Is always the one to try and break up fights but is almost always the cause of them
•"Guardian Of Love" because he is willing to do anything to friends and family
•Constantly horny (oof)

Colin~
•The interrupting computer
•Extremely smart
•Gamer
•In on all the latest trends
•Loves memes, vines, and TikTok
•GAY AF
•Great sense of DiGiTaL sTyLe!
•Loves to play pranks

Stanley~
•Master chef
•Vegetarian
•His idol just might be Jeffery Dahmer
•No joke he actually lives in the kitchen
•Health fanatic
•Favorite weapon is a goddamn knife

Sally~
•Scarier than Stanley believe it or not
•Vegan but will sit there and force-feed you internal organs from your best friend's body
•Has a rational fear of can openers
•Honestly, she should have her own cooking show
•EAT YOUR PLAIN WHITE SAUCE BITCH!

Larry~
•🎶people say I've got a drinking problem but I've got no problem drinking at all!🎶
•Aka alcoholic sleeping beauty
•Ironically though he's a fricken night owl
•Would tell someone to kindly go drown in oil
•Bi asf
•He derp
•Is super annoying but not as annoying as Shrignold

Harry~
•that sounds really boring
•his monotone voice always matches his deadpan expression
•kind of a loner
•the ACTUAL parent of the trio. He and Robin work as a team but sometimes Harry even has to parent Robin around
•if it weren't for Manny, Roy would deadass be at the mercy of not just the teachers but Harry himself
•lowkey wants to throw himself off a bridge sometimes
•hates Colin with a passion. The only teacher he can tolerate to an extent is Tony.
•a real child at heart deep down. Just watch him playing with Manny, it's adorable
•according to Paige he's an "uncreative mop"
•a cynical skeptic

Robin~
•the smart one. Kind of...he still manages to be stupid
•always paranoid.  He was always kinda jumpy, but then the teachers showed up...
•fucking terrified of the Kitchen Crew.  Just to fuck with him, they always give him evil glares when Robin comes around.  He loses his shit and runs away faster than you can say "are you hungry?"
•has a bowling ball fetish.  (It was a leaked scene from the new episode.  Birdie boi deadass got a birdie boner thinking about the mayor's prized bowling ball)
•Harry is a skeptic, but Robin is a conspiracy theorist Jesus Christ.

Manny~
•too pure and innocent for this world omg he's baby
•has no conception of good and evil until some bad shit actually happens
•he loves his father and is completely oblivious to the fact that Roy doesn't give a shit about him and he's a cold-hearted motherfucker
•the only teachers he is terrified of are the Kitchen Crew. They play nice with him (somewhat) although he is still wary of what they've done in the past. Larry's too drunk most of the time to do anything to Manny, Paige is usually pretty nice, Tony kind of ignores him sometimes, Shrignold calmly talks to Manny before trying to brainwash him again, and Colin likes to show off his big brain to Manny
•legally cannot say fuck. Or swear at all, not like he'd want to
•doesn't like yelling, death, or being alone
•is afraid of the dark but refuses to let Larry "help" at all
•still doesn't know what love is and Shrignold won't fucking tell him