Prologue

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Sometimes I wonder how you can feel sorrow for something that never seemed to have been yours to begin with. I had let that part of me go a long time ago, and then when it came back to me, everything changed as it pulled the rug from underneath me and crushed my body against the floor. I often told myself, it would be better if it hadn't happened and I hadn't let myself been pulled back in. But I know I wouldn't have changed anything. It was worth the hurt and the guilt that I felt. Sometimes, it seems like it was all just a dream, but as I run my fingers over the scarred skin of my body, I know it's not. It happened – it happened to me, and I have to learn how to live without that part of me all over again even if I don't want to. If I could I would relive all of it, just to have that part of me back, even if I know it would crush me all over again.

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