my ruthless husband

chapter 50

                 // Christina pov//

"So I am going to be an uncle am I not ?" Lucas asks breaking the silence that was getting defining, I couldn't answer because I couldn't believe that I Christina Men...Aguilera fell for the likes of that man I am so frustrated I ended up like those  girls out there who fell pregnant and was left to take care of the kids growing inside them  How I hate myself right now to be fair you got yourself in this mess you fell in love with him I snap myself out of my thoughts of fault it didn't matter yes it did ,I sigh internally wanting to wake up from this dream I was currently dreaming .I have concluded that even the universe hates me along with everyone  in it and to top it off I have to stay in this hospital for two more days because of reasons I care not of

My head hurts from all that crying I did an hour ago and now I don't know what would become of me I really miss my grandma I wish she was here so that I can let all my frustration out on her lap like I use to do when I was younger ,to be honest in times like this I really wish my mom and I   didn't have a rocky relationship ,what was I saying our relationship was complicated don't really know why I still call her mom darn you grandma with all those good morals,sitting here reminded me that I am not the only pregnant women in my family right now wasn't that amazing the fact that my sister and I shared a husband not out of choice really  and now we are both pregnant our kids will look so adorable they might even look alike just a little can you imagine both of our kids looking exactly the same ?well I can and it doesn't sit well in my head

"Christina"  Lucas almost whispers my name reminding me of Marcus he was a duplicate copy though. I snap myself of any thoughts of Marcus as I look at him waiting for what  he had to say he looked hesitant for some reason

"Yes" I manage to say

"Since you're pregnant and everything and I am going to be an uncle ..." he pauses I roll my eyes at his words be an uncle his acting like I was the one whom fell pregnant first when it was that bitch of a stepsister that I saw as my own sister because we had the same mother despite all the hate she was shoving my way for years 

"I just want to make sure that everything is clear between all of us" he stops again he was really starting to become a disturbing factor

"If you going to keep on taking those one minute breathing sessions you are doing now I am so going to fall asleep Lucas " I say as I breath in and out making a point trying to smile but I couldn't bring myself to smile

"I am just trying to think of a way to put what I am trying to tell you"

" I am sure I don't look intimidating just  spit it out already " I raise my brow at him and he shrugs melancholy

"Listen are you going to tell Marcus about this cause his going to kill me if he finds out that I knew that you're pregnant and  didn't tell him not like I mind dying on your behalf but I just feel like he needs to know about you and the..." I motion my hand for him to stop talking was I going to tell him you say ,of cause not the last thing I want is for him to find an opportunity to get close to me still don't know if he cares or loves me enough to want to get close to me ,maybe that's why he cheated on me in the first place his way of getting rid of me he always said things like not wanting me in his life and what did I do turn a deaf ear to everything ,just thinking about it makes me want to cry and second I don't want him taking or claiming my baby for himself ,after a lot of thinking I decided that I wanted this baby and I promised I will care for him or her and knowing Marcus he might just take the only reason I have left for living

"Listen I am not in the condition to have a conversation with Marcus right now to be honest I never want  him to get to know  about this child ,I don't want to ruin his relationship with my sister I just want him to focus on her right now and only her and her child " I lie I am not one bit concerned about my sister right now I never hated anyone in my life before because grandma always said that hatred was wrong and it went along with evil but right now it feels like I am  this close to hating Catherine ,I just don't want him or her near me or my child