By The Grace of You

4

"A seventeen year old girl is gone, a family has one less person in it, a mom will not get to see her only daughter get married one day. Don't turn a blind eye just because you are friends with him. Hold every single person in this room accountable for the mistakes they make."

          I said this line in particular because I've heard people say things like, "Save Jack." and "He didn't mean to do it." which made my blood boil. Jack knew what he was doing, everyone at that party knew what they were doing.

          What really still gets me about this day is how I had every single person's attention. Looking at every person, I locked eyes with Cara, Ella's mom. It hurt to look at her sometimes but the way she looked at me in this moment pushed me to keep going. My heartbeat sped up when I realized she was there but she made it better.

          One of the reasons why it was so easy for me to get up there was because I knew what it was like being in these seats and listening to an adult speak to me about situations like these. Trust me, I know how important  it is to listen and I do but I know it goes in one ear and out the other for many of the kids around me. I just hoped that if it was coming from someone like them, they'd listen more and be more willing to provoke change.

"I've seen so many posts where people express how bad they feel about the whole thing but no one wants to talk about the real issue. Underaged drinking is a problem, driving while intoxicated is a problem, not owning up to the fact that you are a part of the problem is a huge problem!"

          I stood there, looking out into a sea of what appeared to be so many innocent faces. Teens, who think they are ready for adult things. Driving is something that all of us in high school get excited about and we should. Mixing alcohol into it is a conscious decision that we are all smart enough to make.

"After today, if any of you decide to ignore anything I've said about alcohol, just remember this: you have a choice to make, make that decision like someone's like depends on it, because it does." I handed the microphone back to the principal and began to walk off the stage. My classmates surprised me by applauding my words. Ella's mom wipes away the tears that were rolling down her face.

          Instead of sitting back down, I went to the bathroom and cried. I cried because no matter what happens to Jack, Ella won't be here. We won't go prom dress shopping together or graduation dress shopping. When I left the bathroom I went back to her locker. There were blank sticky notes with a sharpie marker next to it.

"Always the milk to my shake. Love you forever, Ella!" I chuckled a little while writing it because we loved milkshakes so much.

          I have to adjust to being here, without someone I love. I haven't been okay, and deep down I don't want to be okay without her. I look at my parents and I realize they have both of their kids here and I can see just how grateful they are. They hold us tighter each and every day.

"I love you" is constantly spoken in my house now, more than usual.

          A week and a half after that assembly, Ella's funeral happened. I didn't cry, which was my goal because I know, somewhere up above, Ella is smiling at us and we should do the same for her.

"Blood or not, you two are always family." Ethan speaks to Hope and I after the service.
We both smile and hug him without hesitation.

"We love you." Hope speaks for the both of us.