To Have a Home

Revealing Hidden Truths

Previously in To Have a Home: Severus looked down at his student, watching as pupils rolled behind closed lids. Seconds later, the familiar green irises slowly became visible. The professor couldn't help but lean forward in his chair as Harry slowly blinked, not quite aware of his surroundings.

"Harry?"

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Green eyes slowly roamed the room, before finally landing on the two adults. Waiting with baited breath, Severus locked eyes with the boy, attempting to be a lifeline, just as he had done the night before. The potions Professor noticed the cold stare and couldn't help but feel the complete and utter hopelessness that radiated from the Gryffindor. The lack of life within the gaze was a painful reminder for the man, bringing up memories from thirteen years prior that he had tried so hard to suppress; the memory of finding his childhood best friend on the ground, with open eyes that stared without seeing.

It was far from the usual boisterous and foolhardy attitude that usually came from the teen, and It sent a shiver down his spine all the while bringing an entirely new wave of guilt crashing down upon him. The sight before him disturbed him more than he would ever care to admit, though it was the words that left Harry's mouth that would haunt him forever.

"Why couldn't you just let me die...?"

The boy spoke in a hoarse whisper, so soft that Severus had to strain to hear it. Those seven words, coupled with the lack of emotion behind them, caught the Slytherin off guard. He could handle anger, he could handle sadness and tears. Merlin knows how many times he has sat in his office with one of his distressed students. It was the tone of voice that was completely devoid of anything that resembled the boy he thought he knew that would be etched into his memory. He motioned for Poppy to give them some privacy, as he was sure that Harry did not want an audience at the moment. Feeling his throat constrict with emotion, Severus leaned in close, resisting the urge to lay a comforting hand on Harry's arm.

"Harry," He started, intentionally using the boy's first name, "I know things may seem bleak right now, but please... Hear me out. I know what it is like to feel alone, to feel like there is nowhere to turn and that the whole world is against you, but you are very much loved." The potions master whispered.

Severus slowly placed his hand on Harry's arm, and was not surprised to feel the immediate flinch under his touch. It was an all too familiar feeling; one that he himself had felt constantly throughout his childhood. He saw himself at five years old, cowering underneath the kitchen table in order to escape the wrath of his father after exhibiting some accidental magic for the first time. He saw himself at eight years old, stepping in between his father's hand and his mother's face, to try and protect her from yet another blow. He saw himself at eleven, feeling complete and utter relief as he boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time, alongside his best friend Lily Evans, knowing he would have a reprieve from the abuse, even if it was just for a little while.

The death of his mother had hit Severus harder than he let on. He had put up a mask, both physically and emotionally, making sure to hide the amount of pain that he truly felt. His emotions weighed him down like an anchor on a daily basis, constantly threatening to pull him under and drown him in a pit of despair. With his father's alcoholism, it had been him and his mother against the world for as long as he could remember. When she died, Severus felt as if a piece of him died as well. Losing Lily on that fateful night in 1981 tore another piece of his already fractured heart out and destroyed it, and now, Severus didn't know how much of his heart and soul were left.

Bringing himself out of his memories, Severus looked down at his student, the boy who had survived so much for so long, only to beg for the sweet embrace of death by his own hand as his world crumbled around him, leaving him alone in the aftermath. The Gryffindor had been let down too many times by the people he had considered to be family. Snape knew it was only a matter of time before the boy snapped, however, he never imagined that he would be the one to pick up the pieces.

For the past 13 years, Snape had played a passive role in protecting Harry, having made a vow to Lily prior to her demise that he would do everything in his power to keep her child safe, should she fall at the hands of the Dark Lord. The Professor initially felt nothing but sheer hatred for Harry, only seeing him as the son of his childhood bully. However, throughout the years, Harry had unknowingly begun to chip away at the walls that Severus had built around himself as the man slowly started to view Harry as not only James' son, but Lily's as well.

When he received no response from the teen, Severus tried once more to reach out.

"Harry, you have overcome so many obstacles. You mean so much to a lot of people, and although I haven't said so in the past... You mean so much to me."