Hate War

Chapter 14

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I found him staring at me from standing far. His light brown gaze was locked with my teary one.  He kept staring at me until the car was out of his sight.

This is how my one month stay in miller's house ended.

I was out of a mist of my past thoughts with a flinch due to listening to the sudden roaring of the dark sky.

I blew air out of my mouth while putting my hands on my wildly beating heart to shake out that unwanted feeling which was beginning to penetrate into it. Making me feel things I don't want to feel.

After that day I made more distance between Jack and me. It was not like we were close before. But because of that day's incident, not only distance increased between us but the hate and anger for each other too.

It was better like that. I knew him coming near me was bad news. It was the risk I never wanted to take. It was better like this but everything started to shatter one by one a year ago when that absurd thing came up.

I will never accept it.

I repeated it in my mind with determination. I flinched again when I heard the lighting. It felt like the sky didn't like what I thought.

I hate lightning.

Moving out of the comfort of my bed I went to the kitchen to drink some water. Taking a glass full of water I stood in front of my balcony glass doors. I could clearly see the roaring dark sky. Looking at that angry sky my thoughts again started to wander in my pasts.

That day too the sky was of the same color. Lighting was as bad as it's today but the only difference is that night took away everything from me. The storm of that day took away everything from me. The only thing I loved so dearly. That dark night passed leaving behind pain and feeling of hollowness inside me.

That day has scared my heart so deep that even time can't heal or lessen the pain for me. That wound is as fresh as it was carved yesterday on my heart. It hurts so bad making breathing hard for me. It's a struggle I have never shared with anyone, not even with dad because he was struggling to. I know he will be hurt more after seeing me in that state. I didn't want to make his life harder. So with remaining strength in me anyhow, I tried to continue my life with this deep wound on my heart and a big smile on my face so I could see dad happy. With this pain and hollowness, I tried to live my life for dad but everything came crashing on to me a year ago when a little piece of peace I was holding to breathe was about to slip out of my hands like sand.

I took a deep breath to swallow my tears which were ready to flow out of the corner of my eyes. I took a large gulp of water from the glass which I was holding to swallow the lump which was forming in my throat while wiping out the warm tear from the back of my hand which slipped from the corner of my left eye.

What if I won't be able to keep my promise which I made to myself?

What if Jack uses all this power to crumble my last hope.

This thought crossed in my mind. Making me feel uneasy. "No no, it won't happen I will never let him do that to me" I whispered under my breath. I took a deep shaky breath to calm my paining heart. "Everything will be good soon. I will come out of this situation too" I chanted these words under my breath which never failed to give me the strength to fight against my demons.