Flip phone | ✔️(Liskook)

Do I deserve the spotlight?

Lisa
After Jungkook left, I walked back to my dressing room to get in place to perform. Truthfully, everything started during rehearsals when I wasn't feeling too well and had to lie down while other artists rehearsed. Resting on the couch, I overheard the conversation of two staff members about me.

"Did you see Lisa in her dressing room? I can't believe she's resting while other idol's are out there actually working hard."

"Yah jinjja? She should've just stayed in Thailand and let an actual Korean take her place."

Normally, I would just shrug off and ignore people's comments but their words pierced my heart like a knife as I was reminded of my parents back in Thailand. I sacrificed so much to be here and it hurt when people dismissed me and called me lazy. So I went to the only place I knew I would be alone and the next thing I know, I was crying.

Thankfully, Jungkook managed to calm me down. His kind words lifted up my mood drastically and in that moment, I wasn't thinking about us being idol's, I just appreciated him as a person for helping me.

Breaking my train of thoughts, Jisoo called me. "Lisa! We need to get on the platform already!"

As the platform slowly raised us up onto the stage. I changed my expression, gone was the crying and fragile girl. Instead, I confidently posed. When the spotlights shined on us and the music started, I danced and sang my heart out. No matter what anyone said, I was going to show them that I am working hard and I deserved to be here.

Jungkook
Freshly showered after the awards, I walked out of my room to see the gang lounging in our living room. Spotting an empty seat, I plopped down happily in between Jin and RM.

"Yah! Nochu! Your fat ass is crushing me!" Jin said dramatically.

"Tsk, why are you being so noisy?" RM shouted.

"In other news, I think something is going on with Kai and Jennie." J-hope added.

As they continued their conversation I cocked my head to the side. Huh. Kai and Jennie? Now that's something you don't hear everyday. I was surprised that she had the guts to go against YG. That guy was seriously so scary.

As I heard about Kai and Jennie, I remembered my coincidental meeting with Lisa. She was an enigma to me.

At first, I honestly thought that she was just another one of those idol's that lived for success but after what happened just now, I didn't know what to think of her. Watching her performance, you could hardly tell that she was crying just seconds ago. Although we promised to keep our distance, it seemed that fate had other plans for us.

Taehyung oppa disrupted my thoughts and asked "Jungkookie are you okay? You've been so quiet ever since the show."

"Hm? Well.... I just... I don't know. Don't you guys ever get tired of being an idol sometimes?"

"Well, ya of course but it's all part of the job. Every job has it's difficulties but our fans are counting on us to do our best." Jimin said.

"How do you manage your own expectations and everyone else's expectations of you?" I wanted to ask, because it seemed an impossible burden to bear, yet all idol's were expected to do it. I wondered what would happen if idols just did what they wanted to do? Would that solve anything or change the hierarchy of the controlling and toxic K-pop industry? Was I at fault for supporting this industry too?

But that kind of thinking was dangerous, it was why so many people didn't make it far in this industry. One wrong slip-up and you're automatically shunned by the very people your welfare depended on.

With those ominous thoughts on my mind, I quietly left the boys who were engrossed in gossip to take a walk.