wilted flower ─ changlix ✓

one

to say that it was cold would be an understatement.

the late autumn winds were no less than attacking the two boys, like spears being thrown at bears. changbin shivered violently, his arms going numb against the violent winds. however, he did not move them because, in those arms, he held a boy gently.

the boy, whose head rested on changbin's lap, was in a restless sleep, but he was sleeping nonetheless. it was difficult to get sleep nowadays, and changbin would not take away from his well-needed rest.

the thin, frayed blanket was draped on top of them did nothing to stop the heat from being leeched from their bodies, despite the fact that they were tightly huddled together.

three weeks, they had been at this for three weeks.

changbin glanced down at the boy's face, although it was probably longer than just a glance. it was more like a... one-sided staring contest.

he gazed at the dark bags under his eyes, which he knew would be reflected on his own face as well. he's still beautiful, changbin thought, his delicate nose, his sweet eyes, his lips. he felt the urge to touch those soft lips, but he restrained himself, knowing he would probably wake the sensitive boy.

a soft smile ghosted changbin's face. he was the only person who could make him smile in this godforsaken place. he was his sunshine.

changbin's back ached from resting against the tree trunk, and he shifted uncomfortably. unfortunately, even this slight action disturbed the sleeping boy, and his eyelashes fluttered against his freckle-dusted cheeks as he opened his eyes and stared up at changbin. changbin quickly averted his staring eyes, but still mustered a wider smile, "morning, felix."

so-called felix stretched his arms and watched him through his sable eyes. he sat up and frowned at changbin, "didn't you sleep?"

"i slept as much as i could," changbin replied vaguely, not noting how felix's eyes watched him with worry. he peeled the rain-soaked blanket off their bodies before standing up, "and no 'good morning, binnie'?"

felix knew that changbin wouldn't give him a better answer than that, and let out a sigh before getting to his feet next to him. he was younger than changbin by around a year, but still stood taller than him, which was something changbin, to his amusement, had always been bitter about.

felix moved so that he was standing in front of the elder. he placed his finger under changbin's chin and moved it so that changbin was looking up at him.

"any morning with you is good, binnie," he replied with a wink. changbin whacked away his hand.

"okay cheeseball," he laughed, turning around to try and hide the rising blush in his cheeks. oh how his emotions failed him at times.

"cheeseball? you should call me that more often. it's cute... just like you."

"don't call me cute," changbin scoffed, however, the younger's teasing smile only grew, "you need to work on your nicknames."

"whatever you say, shortcake."

"lix!"

"binnie!" felix replied with the same amount of gusto, his eyes glittering as he looked at how annoyed changbin was getting. he wasn't lying when he called changbin cute, and the elder was only proving his point further with every flustered comment.

changbin shook his head with a subdued smile, feeling his heart beat quicken in his chest as he looked at felix's bright smile. felix really had no idea the effect he had on the elder, and changbin sure as hell hoped it stayed that way. it didn't make sense for his emotions to get in the way of their survival.

there were only trees surrounding them where they stood. forest and more forest. if he tried, changbin could almost pretend that everything was alright.

he could pretend that this was just some picnic in the woods. that felix and him had gotten caught in the rain. that they would rush home to prevent themselves from falling sick in the cold. that they would settle themselves under the thick blankets on the couch of his home and watch movies all night. that his felix would turn to him and say those three words that he always said, but... he would say them in a way that they meant more than simple words from a friend to a friend.

if things were normal, then maybe changbin could have done it. maybe it wouldn't have been that bad to confess, even if felix didn't return his feelings. sure, it would hurt, but eventually he'd go back to his old life. he would move on.

but none this was normal, was it? there was no home to rush back to, no blankets, no movies, no moving on. there was certainly no life to go back to. only an uncertain future.

changbin had to put away his stupid fantasies. because if he let his feelings consume him, not only would they drag him down, but they would sink their claws into felix as well.

as they fell silent, changbin bent over next to a small backpack, causing his necklace to fall forward and swing in front of his face. he watched it and felt a lump rise in his throat.

a small opal hung at the end of the delicate silver chain, shining iridescently in the spotty rays of watery sunlight. he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stop everything from flowing back.

changbin, please. you can't stay here, you're not safe.

the memory of her voice was still vivid in his mind. he looked up at felix, who had wandered away, but still stood nearby. he was staring up at the sky through the leaves. changbin swallowed with difficulty as he realized just how strong felix had been.

felix had been at changbin's house with him when this happened. felix hadn't even been able to say goodbye to his own father before changbin's parents shoved the map and backpacks into their arms.

this map, it leads you to a bunker outside the city. i don't know how long cellphones or computers will work. felix, changbin, you two have to leave now.

before they were able to leave, changbin's mother had pulled the necklace over her head and pressed it into changbin's palm,

changbin, you need to know that i'm not going to make it out of this, but please take care of yourself and felix. changbin baby, i love you okay? appa and i love you so so much, changbin.

felix never cried. at the start, changbin sobbed almost every night till his throat was raw, but felix only hugged him close every night. he wiped changbin's tears and whispered meaningless comforts. but in some way, they meant everything.

when changbin had no tears left to cry, he realized how much he had relied on felix. he realized that no matter what, he would make sure that felix could rely on him as well.

even if felix never returned his deeper feelings, changbin would protect him with all he had.

─ author's note 🌻

yayaya! first chappie of wilted flowers has been published...! im kinda nervous since this is my first ff, so i don't really know how to go about writing characters based on people who already exist? does anyone else get that?

either way i hope you liked the first chapter and keep hanging in there!

─ love from melelel !