We Are Shinobi (Naruto Fanfic)

14: Secrets

We walk side-by-side down the streets of Konoha, the sun setting behind us. I feel my blood running cold with the gradually chilling air, fear preparing me for what he has to say. Even if he recognizes me, surely he wouldn't kill me, would he? There'd be great consequences if he were to do that.

I glance sidelong at him, searching his features for any sign of recognition or anger.

Once we reach a side street, nobody else around, he speaks quietly.

"There are things I must talk to you about," he mutters, eyes scanning the alleys and windows to make sure we have no onlookers. I feel my legs begin to shake in fear. If he attacked me, could I fight him? I've gotten stronger in these last six years, but will it be enough to defend myself?

"Okay," I say tentatively, voice quiet.

He stops and turns to face me. I also stop but avoid his eyes.

"I know I don't have the greatest reputation here in the Leaf Village," he says. His eyes flicker with emotion I can't place. "Now that we'll be executing missions on the same team, I want to be sure you can work well with me."

I let out a breath of relief, glad to know this is not about my identity. Thank god. 

"No," I answer him, keeping my eyes on the ground. "You don't have a good reputation at all, captain."

"If that's a problem, I can speak to Lord Third about assigning you to a different team, Mitsuki," his voice is cool and collected. He doesn't sound suspicious about my identity at all.

"Can I just... ask you something?" I feel my legs stop shaking, confidence rolling out of nowhere. He nods, waiting patiently for me to speak.

"Why did you let them die? Your comrades? Your friends..."

His eyes widen and he looks at me as I have two heads. He quickly collects himself, blinking a few times.

"I-" he pauses, unsure of himself for a brief moment. "I never intended for them to die. My number one goal is to protect my comrades. How- how did you know about that... Why are you asking me this?"

I turn away, still avoiding his eyes as if making eye-contact would make him recognize me and trigger his anger. 

"I don't understand how you can go on living after what you've done," my voice is low and steady. Kakashi has stopped trying to make me look at him and is in his own world of thought. The seconds pass slowly, feeling tense and dragged out.

"Every day is a struggle," he suddenly admits, voice soft and full of pain. His hard, collected captain facade drops, revealing a boy strung high with emotions. "I don't usually talk to people about it. I don't like to talk about it."

I nod, understanding, but still mad. 

"You don't need to speak to the Third, I can handle being on your team." I state begrudgingly before pouncing off. I won't give him the satisfaction of shooing me off the team. I'm way stronger than he thinks, and I can handle things myself.

And there's no way I'm going back to the south-end apartments right now when Kakashi is probably headed the same way. I head to the Hokage's office instead, hoping he hasn't gone home yet.

I get there and knock on the doors, and to my surprise they open. The Hokage has his coat on and things gathered, looking like he's about to head home. No ANBU guard the door, probably released of their duties for the night.

"Oh, Misa-- Mitsuki." He quickly corrects himself, closing his office doors and locking them. 

"Hokage-Sama, I need to speak to you." I say.