We Are Shinobi (Naruto Fanfic)

16: The Burden of Knowledge

Whispers on the streets of Konoha the next day are passed from person to person, his name echoing all over the village,

"Shisui Uchiha,"

"They found his body in the river, both of his eyes were stolen."

"Trouble in the Uchiha district..."

But nobody ever mentions Itachi. Instead, the word "suicide" floats off people's tongues. They show no sympathy at all. Every time the Uchiha name is mentioned, people sneer and whisper and scowl. It makes me want to scream.

But I keep my head down, and walk quickly towards the Hokage's office, responding to Lord Third's summon. 

I reach his office and enter, bowing alongside the other ANBU. The Hokage talks, assigning a new mission, but my mind is elsewhere--stuck replaying the scene from last night over and over in my head until my brain hurts. 

I've never witnessed a suicide before. There were lots of suicides back in the Dream Village--those who couldn't handle their assignment to the role of Shinobi. I remember hearing about one young girl, just after the war, who jumped off the roof of a building after Hiashi-Sama whipped her for talking back about her mission assignment. 

Thoughts crawl like spiders in my head, making it difficult to breathe. The only thing keeping me grounded is the feeling of the hard, cool floor under my knee and palms.

"Mitsuki, stand up. It's time to go, we've got a mission." 

It's Kakashi talking. I hadn't even realized he was here. I nod, standing and following him and a few others out of the Hokage's office. 

The whole mission, my mind is somewhere else. Kakashi gets annoyed at one point and hits me on the head, telling me to focus. 

"This is an assassination, you need to be alert! There could be an ambush!" he shouts, frustrated. His sharingan glares at me through his cat-mask and I coil back, hitting a tree and falling to the ground. The red eye brings be back to last night, no matter how I look at it. And it reminds me of Obito Uchiha who will soon massacre the Uchiha clan.

Knowledge of the future and not being able to do anything about it, the worst of all burdens. I'd rather die than carry this burden for the rest of my life.

I grip the grass, breaths falling fast and heavy in my lungs. 

Get a hold of yourself, Misaki! I close my eyes tight and try to focus on my breathing, but every passing second brings me back to last night. I notice for the first time that Itachi is not here on the mission with us. 

Where is he? Has he run away, leaving his problems behind like the coward that he is? 

"Mitsuki! Get up, damn it!" Kakashi yells. "Shit." I hear clanging metal but can't bring myself to look up. Kakashi yells orders to the other ANBU but they all sound like a blur. 

And then there's silence. The only outside noise is my own unsteady breathing. But inside, I am screaming. 

The voice I loathed to hear for many years of my life returns, speaking like snakes tightening around my every thought. You are powerless. You are worthless. You trained for six years and you're still useless, a burden, a failure.