Scions Of Kuru

Before the Cacophony-||3||

Suthanu raced her hands on a pot in her mother's kitchen- she had seen at the potter's house. It looked cold and dusty, and magnetic. Who would think that, but still it looked peaceful rather than plain awful. Similar pots were kept around, some filled with water and the others empty. She had heard from Dadi- Shree Kunti that her fathers were born in exile and had spent years in the forest. And now her mother too lived with them- in the exile which she never got to experience. Parents teach so many things to their children. Whatever parents go through, their children become an unquestioned follower of the situation. It won't be wrong to say that they were also experiencing the struggle of separation but not in quite the same way. Like they still wore gold and finery and not bark. ' What are you looking for dear?' Draupadi entered the kitchen. The deepness of her voice dripped fieriness. All people back at Panchal told her how much her voice matched her mother's, but she was cent percent sure that something was still lacking, maybe the pain, maybe the authority. Suthanu shook her head in negative.


 'What is love, Mata?' Suthanu asked a question she had deep buried in her heart. Panchali sighed looking at her daughter's curiosity. When she was eighteen; she also had the same longing in her eyes, the longing of knowing a feeling that everybody talked about- that how it would feel to feel your heartbeat against your chest that it may come out any moment.
 'What must I tell you..' She looked down trying to find the starting point of an endless topic. Suthanu tried gauging her mother's reaction 'Is that all so awful?' She asked. 'No, it isn't.' Draupadi looked into her daughter's eye.

'Love. In the very starting, it is wild. Your mind races you out of your senses. There is a constant need to look at each other in the eye. The feeling of acceptance-that somebody is going to look at you and feel that the sky is no more blue, but was pink all this while. Those small things that if I stand 10 meters away I may smell the soil with his fragrance and if I stand too close, I shall forget  if I am still on earth or not.' Panchali left out a chuckle. It felt that a new soul was entering her body as she talked of a previous life with her daughter. Suthanu caught her breath. Her mother talked of magic- she thought. Nothing in this could be real. It was not like what all the teenagers and her friends thought of the topic. 'Stop kidding me. Nobody could be this mad.' Suthanu shook her head in negative. ' This; my dear,' Draupadi looked at the young figure of her daughter untouched by the cruelty of the world 'is something you will know.' She smiled old.

'Don't take this to be the ultimate definition.' Draupadi cautioned. 'This never lasts.' she looked far into infinity.' What lasts, is much more beautiful.' 
'What lasts is- sustenance. The way you exist with your husbands ?' Suthanu laughed. She couldn't believe how her mother lives with the men who had threatened her honor. Threatened- yes. It was because of them she was gambled. It was because of their indifference she didn't have a piece of cloth to cover herself in front of 100's of loathful eyes.
Draupadi looked at her daughters's fiery and misty eyes. Suthanu took her nails and dug them deep in her arm. Draupadi didn't move. She peacefully fanned the nail marks on her daughter's skin.
'I love my fathers.' Suthanu cried. 'But I love you more.' She sobbed at the sentence. 'How?-' She screamed. '- do you expect me to forgive them?' She asked her mother, who did nothing but smiled subtly.

'Just the way I did.' Draupadi spoke. Suthanu looked into her mother's eye. No remorse. A lot of pain. ' You know how much I love them. But do you know how much each of them loves me? It's 5 times my love. I could tell that I still feel like a queen here. Nothing moves without my consent- from the kitchen to my cloth- nothing.' Panchali chuckled. 'Love is not always about rushed heartbeats. It's about those calm moments of sweetness and sugar. These five brave men- these warrior husbands of mine, have given me everything- from their insecurities to their laurels.Didn't misbehave a single second, never made me feel as if they were holding any authority over me.' Panchali spoke with her voice dripping of satisfaction. 'The dyut Sabha is a black spot in all of our minds. They were disrobed too Suthanu.' Draupadi looked at her daughter's tear-stained face. 'Of honor and humbleness. Now we are no more forgiving. Nor shall we forget. And your answer is - this is love. When you can't stop loving someone on their blunders. Even if you place a parchment full of their mistakes- I shall find the positives. I will tell about the way they had kissed my fears and made me happy. It's the passion to be with someone who makes you feel worth living and breathing. It's the passion to look at each other's faces and wishing death before them. Its the passion of togetherness and love for their imperfections which keep us going.' Draupadi wiped her daughter's scarlet face- that burned of remorse- to think of her parents relation as a compromise, instead now; she wished for something equally wonderful for herself.

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Pragati pestered her brother Sutsom who was rather busy on plucking flowers. ' Bhrata!' Pragati pronounced cheerfully as Sutsom narrowed his gaze. 'No favors.' he commanded. 'you think so low of me?' Pragati's face fell. Sutsom being the most sensitive and caring brother to her realized his rudeness to be unnecessary. 'Pardon me dear.What do you want?' He looked at her with affection.' Food!' Pragati clasped her hands in enjoyment.
'Draupadi might have made it. Suthanu was also in the kitchen the last time I checked.' Nakul informed Pragati. 
'Pitashree- I didn't intend on eating.' Pragati lowered her gaze.
'Then- what?' Nakul asked all confused.
'I wanted to cook something.' Pragati confessed. 'Nobody lets me cook at Panchal. Nana-Shree is too adamant for our comfort.'
'He should be.' Nakul stressed on the point. 'But if you want to learn then I won't stop you.' Nothing is futile in learning. Nakul had understood this in long years of learning.
'Sutsom.'
'Tell me Pitashree.' Sutsom stood up from his place.
'Take her to Bhrata Bheem.' Nakul ordered ' Nobody could make her learn better.' 
Gleefully, Pragati walked towards her Jyeshth Pitashree Bheem.
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' How is Subhadra?' Arjun asked Abhimanyu as both of them fed the horse with some fodder.
'Mata Subhadra is all good. She teaches a lot of small girls.' Abhimanyu told.
It has been years he had watched his beloved wife. Her small and tender figure - the anklets which made a sound while she walked in the corridor- he missed everything about her.
'Why doesn't she come with you?' Arjun enquired.
'Don't think that I didn't ask her to' Abhimanyu sighed 'She says that the journey is too long for her joints.'
Arjun nodded, but he knew what the real reason is. Subhadra and joint pain? She dances so well and her age hasn't come off yet- for her to make such lame excuses. The separation was bitter, and she was heavily upset about her being restricted from the exile. ' I won't miss you' was what she had said 12 years ago. He could remember her lips shivering as she uttered all this, the warmness of her tears against his chest as she cried silently. He could smell her fragrance and the sour odor of agony.

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