Always With You - A Best Friends To Lovers Novel

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Eight

River

The loud knocking on my front door startled me. I was in my room, reading a book, and listening to music as I heard the banging.

"River, open the door!" Bowie's voice was shaky, and my first thought was that something had happened to her. I was taking my time to get my issues under control, and I intended on calling her tonight to apologize. But my plans were obviously ruined.

I got up from my bed and turned off the music, and after putting down my book, I walked out of my room.

"River, open the door!" she repeated, and this time, she sounded angry. "I know you're in there," she said. "Open. The. Door!"

I quickly unlocked it, and sure enough, Bowie was standing there with tears streaming down her face, and her cheeks all red from being upset.

She let out a laugh, looking at me as if she had just seen a unicorn. "Was this all I had to do to see you again? Scream your name through this door?" she asked. I didn't know what to say, because I didn't know the answer to that.

"What's wrong?" I asked, keeping my voice down to not upset her more. "Bow, I was going to call you tonight, I swear," I said but she didn't want to listen.

"Why? Is Faye not available tonight? I bet you've told her about what happened last week. Probably even spoke to her the past few days when I was in my room, waiting for you to come to me!"

I was confused. What did Faye have to do with any of this? "Bow...come inside and we'll talk calmly." I reached for her hand, and as I wrapped my fingers around it, she pulled it back and crossed her arms over her chest.

I sighed, stepping aside, and motioning her to come inside. "Please, Bowie," I whispered, and after a while, she stepped inside and walked straight to my bedroom. I followed her after locking the front door again.

"Now, can we just sit down and talk? How do you know Faye?" I asked. I knew she had never met that girl, and although I had talked to her a few times, and mistakenly had sex with her once I was drunk, I never spoke to her ever again.

"Doesn't matter how I know her. She told me everything. She said to me what you told her while I wasn't here with you, and how much time you spent together." New tears rolled down her cheeks, and I wished I could just pull her into my arms. That was too dangerous when she was mad at me, so I kept my hands to myself.

"Can you explain what exactly she said?" I asked, keeping my voice calm.

"Everything!" she shot back. "Every little thing you went through! Your mom's death, your dad hitting you, and us," she stopped, frowning at me. "She knows everything about you. You told her, and I don't think it's fair you shared every little secret only I knew with another girl who probably doesn't mean anything to you."

I tried to think back to that one night I had her over. One night of having meaningless sex with a girl who tried to get my attention since the day I stepped into class. I was drunk, so there was a big possibility that I started talking about my past without thinking about it. But I knew that wasn't possible. Even if I was drunk, I would've remembered telling my whole life story to a somewhat stranger.

And that's when it hit me. My journal. "Fuck," I mumbled, running my hands through my hair, and pulling at the ends. "She read my journal."

Bowie didn't believe me, and she turned her head to the side to avoid my eyes. "No, Bowie, I'm serious. She read my journal. I saw her," I told her,

"That's not a good excuse, River. Try harder."

"It's not an excuse, Bow," I said, then pointed at the bed next to us. "She spent a night here, and in the morning, she was hoping to stay for breakfast. I told her no, and that she had to be gone by the time I'm out of the shower. When I came back, she was sitting on the bed with my journal in her hands."

It sounded like a made-up excuse, but it wasn't. "Bow, I would never lie to you. You know that." I took a step closer to her, but she stepped back as I got near her.

I sighed, then reached for my journal. "Listen to this," I told her, and turned to a page with a date on it from more than two years ago. Bowie's arms were still crossed, and she didn't look at me, but I only needed her to listen to me.

"What happened this morning will never happen again," I started reading out loud. "There's too much written in here that means everything to me. Every single entry in this journal is sacred. Not only to me but also to Bow." As I spoke her name, her gaze moved back to me, and I saw the muscles in her face relax slightly. I kept on reading. "Most of the entries mean just as much to her as they do to me, and having another girl read through without me knowing makes me feel sick. Not sure how much Faye read, but I hope she keeps it all to herself. It's no one's business what my life was when I was younger. All that matters is now." I stopped to look up at her before I read the last sentence. Bowie's eyes were still filled with tears, but they didn't leave her eyes.

"I miss Bowie, and I wish I could share this bed with her. I love her."

A sob escaped her, and I put my journal down to finally pull her into my arms. She came willingly this time, and I wrapped my arms tightly around her. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I wish I could turn back time and make all your sorrows disappear. I mess up sometimes, and I will do so in the future. But one thing that will never change, is the love I have for you."

She didn't speak, butwords weren't needed at the moment. I kept my arms around her and wished Iweren't so damn stubborn and wait almost a week to see her again. But I clearedmy head and was back to where I was before my father showed up and almostmessed up my relationship with Bowie.