{ Chapter 33 - A Quiet Conversation }

187 22 31
                                    

The ride back to the house was silent, everyone recovering in their own way. Remus had moved to the back seat to make sure he was close to Roman and Logan had expected him to prattle on to offer a distraction. Not a sound or a whisper was shared between them. Their hands were clasped together and somehow Logan felt they were having a conversation that didn't need words.

He didn't regret what he had done, but he begrudged the consequences. He had missed out on watching Roman and Remus grow up. He had missed out on helping them through their struggles.

Logan picked at the jeans he had worn. He knew that things couldn't have gone perfect. Perfect was an unattainable goal, but maybe a part of him had hoped that once all of this was over, once Roman and Remus were safe, he could form a relationship with them. Though that goal was achievable, it would never be the same as what the twins had. By protecting them he had forfeit that relationship.

Was it worth it?

"Hey," Patton whispered, gently setting a hand on Logan's shoulder. "It's okay kiddo. Things can change and get better."

Logan's mouth curled into a tight frown. How had Patton noticed? Their car pulled into the driveway and Patton turned to look at Logan, his eyes sparkling with understanding and compassion.

"You are allowing yourself to be more open with your emotions, that's a good thing. There are people here to support you."

Right, of course, Patton was an empath. Logan quickly tried to compose himself, hiding his emotions behind all of the walls he had built throughout the years. He didn't miss Patton's frown.

"I appreciate your concern Patton, but it is not necessary."

"If you're sure." Patton began to get out of the car. "But we are here for you." It was meant to be a reassurance, but Logan knew those words weren't true. The only reason they were here was because they were healing and no one was sure what they were supposed to be doing next, but now he knew. Roman was headstrong, he would continue to try to be a hero, but he needed the freedom from his family.

"I'm certain," Logan said, getting out of the car.

"Roman, may I speak to you?" He went to adjust his tie before realizing it wasn't there.

"Of course my stupendously studious sidekick." His voice wavered. Its normal chipper tone was laced with a tiredness that Logan understood all too well. Well enough that he wasn't going to point out the fallacies in Roman's nickname.

"Need me to stay with you?" Remus asked, still holding his brother's arm like an anchor to this world. "I'm not opposed to filling his pants with poisonous spiders!"

Roman shook his head and Logan could see the emotions written all over his brother's face. He normally wasn't great at reading emotions but he knew these ones. The guilt was written in the way Roman's brow knit together; his frustration written in the curl of his lips, the bottom one just barely tucked under his teeth; and the worst of it all, the fear that twinkled in Roman's eyes. It wasn't a fear of anything inside of himself, but rather, the realization that he was capable of doing a lot worse than he thought he could. Roman was afraid of himself and Logan knew that.

He waited for Remus to leave, trying to decide on the best way to handle this. He had been gone for so long, but maybe after their fight, they could be on better footing. He hesitantly walked over to Roman and pulled him into a hug. He would give Roman the space to pull away, but this was something that Logan desperately needed. Specifically, it was something he had needed for seventeen years. He hoped it was what Roman needed too.

It must have helped a bit because Roman didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Logan.

"I'm supposed to be a hero, I'm supposed to do the right thing," he cried.

Logan didn't know how to help and he didn't know how to fix this, but Roman was his little brother, and he had to try. "You are still my hero," he whispered softly.

Roman balked, pulling away. "How can that be true? I literally tried to stab you just a few hours ago,"

"Yes, but your sense of anger was heightened, that wasn't fully you."

"No, but it was me when I knocked you unconscious."

Logan didn't have a counter for that, but he did have an answer. "I don't blame you for that. I hid many things from you and I'm sure it was not easy to process through all of the emotions you felt. I could have handled the situation with a bit more tact."

"That's an understatement." Roman huffed, and Logan finally felt like they were getting somewhere. He leaned against the van, fiddling with his hands.

"I'm sorry you felt abandoned, that was never my intention." Logan sighed. "I wanted to protect you."

"I kind of get that now, Dunsinane."

A look of confusion crossed his face. "Why are you comparing me to the hill which held MacBeth's castle?"

Roman sighed, "It was a clever play on words to call you a dunce. For being the smart one I am surprised you couldn't figure that out."

Logan frowned and Roman immediately back-peddled.

"What I was trying to say is-"

"Roman, it's fine, it doesn't bother me." He let out a sigh of his own. "What does bother me is that, despite my vast vocabulary, I can't seem to express to you how sorry I am that you feel the way you do, while still holding my position that I did the right thing."

"Was this really the best option?" Roman threw up his hands. "Couldn't you have protected us without leaving us and erasing our memories?"

"Of course I thought about multiple ways that I could try, but they were already influencing Remus, playing into his darker thoughts and fantasies, and I was 10. Now a young age is no excuse for my inability to come up with a better plan, but I will say I didn't have the emotional maturity to separate myself from the situation. I also didn't have the resource for anything more grand in terms of an escape plan."

"You could have come with!"

"They would have found us, and I have no desire to find out what they would have done with me at that point. I was always the expendable one."

Roman frowned, not fully accepting it but it seemed he was beginning to understand. "I met her when we rescued Patton. She seemed kind."

"She's manipulative." Logan knew she was and had fought long and hard to not fall for her tricks.

"But she just let me go. I mean, she did give me a way to contact her."

Logan's face went white. "Roman, what did she give you?"

"She gave me a phone."

"Please tell me you got rid of it." He said, pushing himself off of the van, hands-on Roman's shoulder.

"Why would I get rid of a perfectly good phone?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"Do you have it on you now?"

Roman shook his head and Logan let out a thankful sigh.

"I mean this in the most caring way possible but you are an absolute idiot. She can use a phone to listen in to our conversations as well as find our location."

"Wait! So it's possible that this dragon of a lady could be listening to our conversations, or hunting us down?"

Logan nodded, slowly letting go of Roman as he began to pace.

"Undoubtedly, she has a plan for it." Could he turn this around? He chewed on his lip gently "I think... I think I might have an idea.


AN: Hey everyone, in case you weren't aware, it's mental health awareness month. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself this month!

The Logical ExceptionWhere stories live. Discover now