The irreversible binding

The unexpected breakup

The rest of the day after that went by rather quickly. He kept repeated Draco's words over and over again. That question. All of it. It made him question a lot of things he had never really questioned before.

What would have happened if Harry had been Draco's friend?

What would it be like to be Malfoy's friend? Well one things for sure. He wouldn't of asked the sorting hat to not put him in slytherin. He would have been a slytherin. He didn't know if he would ever have been friends with Ron and Hermione. He wouldn't have gotten on the broom to get Nevilles Rememberall and so he wouldn't have been on the broom that got him on the quidditch team. No one would have been surprised that he could take to snakes. Maybe Draco would have been a great friend.

The thoughts of what could have been made him a little sad in all honesty. The thoughts ran through his head most of the day. He didn't feel completely there as he was stuck in his head due to the recent events. It wasn't until he was at dinner and eating with Ron and Hermione when he remembered that he had to meet Ginny in the room of requirement afterwards. He had been staring at the Slytherin table, mostly at the quiet Blonde haired boy sitting there poking at his food.

He sighed at the scene, waiting patiently for the dinner to end. Once it did, he stood up and walked out with the rest of the crowds of students. They all chatted away next to him. And in that moment... he felt lonely.It was another issue he had been forced to face after the war. Everyone around him seemed to have moved on. They all talked and laughed and had fun. He would sometimes try to go along with it, but he couldn't shake the feeling away from him.

It was in this moment he understood something about Malfoy he hadn't really thought about. Malfoy went lost and lonely. His whole world had crashed around him. He had nothing. And that's what Harry felt like everyday of his life. After 18 years of being built up to be a weapon to kill the dark lord, he didn't have purpose in his life. It's why he didn't eat. Why he didn't interact with people. Why he felt like he was a lost child in the middle of forward moving world that didn't have enough time to stop and see if the chosen one was okay. And after all he had done for everyone, to save them... he felt hurt.

His train of thought ended when he stood at the entrance of the room of requirement. He looked at the empty wall not wanting to step inside and have this conversation. Not after the thoughts he was having. Yet here he was, pacing in front of the wall until the door appeared. He took a moment to collect himself before he reached out his hand and opened the door and stepped inside.

The room was dark inside and was only lit by a few dozen dimly lit candles around the room. And other than that the room was completely empty. He couldn't see very well into the room in certain areas as the light didn't reach those places, but he knew that Ginny was in there somewhere. And he knew that this wasn't going to end well by the looks of it. He knew that she was going to try to make the move in attempts to fix their now very distant relationship.

He walked forward into the center of the room when he felt arms wrap around his waist and a body pressed against his back side.
"I've waiting for you." Ginnys voice said from behind him. Harry grabbed the arms around him and loosened their hold on him so he turn and face Ginny. He was completely taken aback when she was in nothing but her undergarments. Harry took one look at her and knew he had to stop this. He definitely wasn't ready for this and now he was thinking maybe he never would want this. Most guys would be turned on by the view. He didn't feel anything. Not one spark that said he would want her.

"Ginny," he started but was interrupted by a hand to his mouth. He stared at her with wide eyes as the hand moved down to his tie where she grabbed it tightly and pulled it forward. He moved forward along with the tie and her lips met his with an eagerness that he couldn't return. He didn't know exactly what to do in this situation so he kissed her back with almost no emotion behind the kiss. He hoped she wouldn't notice his lack of interest but she seemed to notice immediately.

She pushed back out of the kiss and looked at him for a long moment.
"I know you want this Harry Potter. Please... just give in. For me? You love me right?" She didn't wait for an answer before she started to take his tie off.
"Ginny." He tried you say again, but was interrupted again. This time by a very angry Ginny.
"No. Ever since the War you've been distant. We talked about doing this before the war! Why won't you just do it already? I don't understand why I'm not good enough!" Harry stood there for a moment and shook his head.

"Really Ginny? Why on earth would I think your not good enough? I am sorry that the after effects of the war are causing me to be distant. What do you expect me to do? I told you I needed time! Why won't you just listen to me?" His body was hot from the anger coursing through him. She sensed the anger and took a step back with a look of defeat. She didn't say anything for a long moment and the room became unbearably quiet. Harry was just about to leave when she shook her head and looked off in the distance.

"This is wrong. I shouldn't be here. I should have known that this would end this way..." she walked over towards a wall where her clothes were and began frantically putting them on. He watched her out her pants on before he realized he should say something.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked in confusion.
Ginny ignored him but pressed on.
"What do mean by you should have known this would end this way?" He pressed on. Ginny was now dressed enough to walk out of the room but she didn't right away. She stared at Harry for a very long time. Once again the quietness of the room surrounded him making him feel uncomfortable.

"We should have never been together Harry." She said in a surprisingly calm tone. Harry had known for a while this might happen but he couldn't say he was prepared for it.
"What do you mean?" He asked dumbly. Ginny walked forward until she was right in front of him and stared into his eyes.
"Harry, why do you stare at Malfoy the way you do?" Harry stared at her in shock.

"What?" He asked her as if he had heard her wrong. Which he was hoping that he was.
"I said, why do you stare at Malfoy the way that you do?" She didn't look upset at all. This whole thing was making him feel a little uneasy. What did Draco Malfoy have to do with him not wanting sex with Ginny.
"I don't think I understand the question. What does he have to do with this?" Ginny laughed quietly.

"You don't even know do you? The way way you look at him. The way you interact with him. At first I thought it was because you just hated him. Glaring at him from across the great hall. Then I realized that normal people that hate each other don't just glare at each other for minutes on end from across the room. They don't go out of their way to find them and pick fights. And then all of fifth and sixth year, none stop. It got worse. The staring. The constant following him around. None stop talking about him. We couldn't even go on a date without there being some aspect of Malfoy in it... and the worst part is that your clueless to it all while the rest of us notice."

Harry listened and processed all of this but still didn't see the point.
"Ginny, what are going on about? Malfoy and me are enemies if you don't remember." Ginny just smiled softly and shook her head. 
"I'm going to ask you a serious question that I really want you to answer honestly. Okay?" Harry nodded his head not knowing what else to say.
"Are you gay?" Harrys eyes went wide.
"W-what?" He asked taken by shock once again.
"Have you ever thought about a gay romantically before?" Harry just shook his head.

"Maybe you should think about it. Good luck Harry. I really hope you find what your looking for with someone else." She left the room leaving Harry in the quiet, dimly lit room and he was more confused now than he had ever been in his entire life.