The One about Thomas

The Truth Untold

Today is Thursday and I have a session with my therapist. It's been five years with Dr Grayson, she's one of the loveliest people I've ever met. Every time I come to her office, which is three times a week, she offers me a hot chocolate. She insists of wearing no shoes in her office, which is carpeted with the softest carpet I've ever felt, she hoovers it every morning with a special powder. There's something quite comfortable and strangely freeing about wearing no shoes in her office even though I don't like feet- especially mine. Although, she likes to say that I'm still trapped in a cage of fantasy and I'm clearly not free, which I don't get. 

So here I am, sitting on the couch, with my hot chocolate, no shoes and I feel fine. These days she doesn't bother with her notebook which makes me laugh. I told my mum that I didn't need to see Dr Grayson anymore but she insisted that I did. 

"How are you doing today?" She asks me, looking at me straight in the eyes.

"Fine." I say and take a sip of my hot chocolate, it's so good. 

She drums her fingers on the arm of the couch she's sitting on. I'm not entirely comfortable with silence when there's another person in the room. Her wall clock is ticking and there's a white noise that maybe only I can hear. 

"Anything new in your life?" She asks.

I roll my eyes at the question, this has to be one of the most annoying questions in the history of the universe. She only saw me on Monday, what could have possibly changed since then?

"Well, my dad hasn't come back." I say casually, knowing that it was definitely the answer she was expecting as I say this all the time. 

"I know that, Olivia," She sounds exasperated now. "What about school? Friends? You promised to do an extra-curricular this term and I haven't heard anything about that."

I have semi decent grades at school, I'll be taking my A-levels next year and then after that I plan on getting a one way train or bus ticket to somewhere random or a one way plane to a different country, with Thomas. I don't have friends because I don't want them and I haven't done any extra-curricular activities because I can't be bothered.

"Thomas changed his hair colour." I say with a shy smile. I remember his curly, fluffy grey hair and his sweet smile. 

"Okay," she says with a sigh. "Has there been much development in your relationship with Thomas?"

"Lol," I scoff. "In what way?"

"I don't know," She replies. "Any arguments? Squabbles? New things brought to light?"

I didn't want to discuss Monday night.

"He thinks my dad is actually stopping an alien invasion right now as we speak."

"You told me that on Monday." She says.

"Oh," I laugh. "Did I?"

"Your mum said you invited Thomas round again and he didn't come." She says, in a matter of fact manner. 

I keep my mouth shut.

"Do you know why that is?" She asks. 

I suddenly panic for a strange reason. 

"He came over after dinner, around bedtime, he'd dropped his phone in the toilet that's why he wouldn't answer my call," I mumbled the words out as quickly as I could. "Please don't tell my mum."

Her eyes widen and her eyebrows fly up. She suddenly takes out her notebook and pen and scribbles furiously, the scratching of pen to paper is the only thing I can hear. 

"Have you ever been invited round to his house?" She asks. Her pen still scribbling away.

"No," I reply, pursing my lips. "You've asked me this before."

"I know."

She continues to write.

"What are you writing?"

"Just everything you've done since you stepped into my office."

I suddenly feel uncomfortable. 

"Why don't you think he's invited you to his house?"

I set down my hot chocolate, which has now become cold, on the coffee table that separates me from Dr Grayson.

"I don't know." I reply.

This is true. Thomas has never invited me to his house or to meet his friends or family. He hasn't really given me a reason as to why but I'm not too pressed about it because he loves me and he must have his reasons. I tried to go to his house after school once and realised that I didn't know the address or what I thought was the address, ended up being someone else's house, it was an embarrassment asking for Thomas when there was nobody named Thomas in that residence . I asked him later that day when I met him at a park for his address but he changed the subject smoothly and I hadn't even realised.

My head started to hurt so much that I buried it in my hands but Dr Grayson kept writing in her notebook.

"What's wrong, Olivia?" She asks.

"My head just hurts." I reply with a whisper.

"Maybe you should stop seeing Thomas for a while," She says, softly as if she hadn't even heard me. "He may not be the best for you."

As if I could live my life without Thomas. He is my soulmate. My life.

I take a deep breath and picture his face. His eyes, nose and lips. I love him too much that my soul aches. 

I remove my head from my hands and pick up my bag from the floor. I look pointedly at Dr Grayson.

"No."

Then I get up and walk out of the room, without allowing her say another word. I am tired of people telling me not to see Thomas. They just haven't met him, they don't know his character or what he's like. They don't understand that he's perfect and he's perfect for me. He's-

As I'm about to get into my car to drive home, I feel someone tap me on the shoulder and I turn around to meet Thomas's eyes staring at me, looking at me with concern, he's eyes stare deep into me as if he can see my every thought written across my eyes. My eyes suddenly well with tears. He's here, exactly when I need him. He pulls me into him and hugs me close letting me cry away all the pent up anger I have stored in my chest. I'm angry at everyone, my dad, my mum, Dr Grayson and myself. It's okay though, because he's here. He's here and he's holding me and that's all I need.

I really hate these appointments.