The life of Batsis

Feeling?-39

I felt nothing, I didn't feel sad or angry, I didn't feel disgusted for what they've done to my body, hell not even remorse for what I've done...

I couldn't see anything else but the dark gray concrete ceiling above me. How long I've been lying here, I don't know, days, weeks, months hell maybe even years for all I know. While I couldn't see or feel, I could hear what was going on, mostly just small talk for the members of the gang. They'd sometimes talk about what was going on outside this place, Batman and the entire bat gang had become rampant and more violent, they were looking for me and yet I was still here, locked up, looking like a caged animal, used as a toy to satisfy others. What was I even now, am I still human, or am I a meta because of my visions, or am I just an empty shell now?

"Nah man she's become boring as all hell, when they first brought her here she was screaming and crying like all hell, but boss shut her up real fast"

"Really, how?"

"He just had to whip her into shape and afterward she didn't even say so much as a peep, haven't since"

There they go again. The whip, I remember that I think it's supposed to cause pain and it did for a while, but now it feels like nothing. I guess I've gone numb, both physically and mentally. I don't know if that's good or bad considering my situation but, I kinda wanna feel something again.

Maybe a kiss on the forehead like dad gave me when I felt sad or stressed or a warm hug from Dick, laugh at stupid movies with Jason, read a good book in the library with Tim, teach Damian about the world like the old days, baking in the kitchen with Alfred, a cuddle with the family... yeah, that sounds nice and peaceful, so peaceful.

I heard the metal door unlock and swing open "I hope your ready bitch, your fucking father just took in some of my best fucking members!" I heard the boss yell out. He grabbed my arm and flung me across the room into the opposite wall, as I landed on the ground I felt something warm trickle down my naked back. I saw him take the whip, grinning so wide I thought he'd end up looking like the Joker.

"Fucking" whip "useless" whip "piece" whip "of shit!" whip

After the last whip, he stood there for a few minutes, breathing heavily while he just stared at me. "Nothing, useless, you're not even fun anymore," he said throwing the whip to the ground and walking out the cell. Before the enclosed the door I saw a small crack of moonlight from a window across from my cell door, I reached a hand across the floor and shaking attempted to reach it, but the door closed.

My hand went limp, I blinked slowly, I felt something wet fall down my chin onto the floor... I was crying, I haven't cried since they put me in here, this must mean I feel sad... right?

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on that fading feeling, even though it was the sadness I was reaching for I didn't care, I just want to feel something, anything!

And I did, and it was cribbing, I laid there on the cold lonely concrete ground crying, letting everything out and for the first time in who knows how long, I felt something.

Timeskip

I've slowly started to regain some small bursts of emotion ever since I cried. They aren't big and don't last long, but all that matters is that I can feel again. That however also meant facing the reality of what happened, what I did, what has been done to me, and that my grandfather is dead. Sadness is the emotion that popped up the most, which was logical but no less tiresome. I had slept a lot, well whenever I could, the boss of the guards would still show up sometimes and do whatever the hell they wanted, I taught myself to go emotionless during those moments, if I did react they'd just do it more often. The times I was alone were spent, sleeping, crying, shamelessly eating what the threw in here and then immediately throwing half of it up again, and then back to crying and sleeping. I still don't know what day, month, or even year it is, what I do know is that my memories are fading. I'm slowly forgetting dads face, how I met Dick, I don't remember how Jason and Dick met, how did Tim start living in the manor, what is Damian's past, the faces of the members of the Justice League are fading and I don't remember their real names, who's Kat and Marco?

I try so desperately to cling onto what I do remember, just hoping that if I do there's a chance that I can get through this, I can't tell myself it's useless if I do I'll lose everything.

"Daddy, please.... save me" I whispered alone in the darkness letting a tear glide down my face.

Yes this chapter is short but I rather like to make others suffer as I have had too😈
Next chapter is gonna come out very soon since I want to finish this story this month, so basically all next chapters are gonna come this month, you better be prepared to READ motherfuckers!!!

Misker Out!