Love & Acceptance

Ch. 33

As always, enjoy and don't forget to vote!

PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR NOTE I PUT AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER.

Y/n's POV:

"Will you be my girlfriend?" she asks.

"I-"

I don't know what to say. Of course I want her to be my girlfriend. However, It doesn't feel right to say yes without her knowing about my physical difference. I planned to tell her not long after my dinner with my father, but now? I literally don't know what to say without blurting it out and that's not how I want to tell her.

"You?" she says, looking at me questioningly.

"Y-Yes...and no"

At first she smiles but it's quickly replaced with confusion.

"What? What do you mean yes and no?" she says.

"I mean that I want to, but I can't, at least not yet."

"Well why not?" she questions.

"It's....complicated."

Her facial expression turns mad, making me regret using those choice of words.

"Life is complicated Y/n! Everything is complicated!"

"I'm sorry, but it's-"

"I refuse to accept that as your excuse!" she says.

"Ari I-"

"I-I rather you just say that you don't feel the same, t-then lie to make me feel better or have false h-hope..." she says, her voice cracking  between words.

I could see her eyes becoming watery and it hurts to see her upset.

"But I do feel the same, I just-I need a little more time to figure stuff out first." I try moving closer to her, but she immediately backs away.

"Don't, I-I never should of asked...." she says.

"Ari-" I take another step forward.

"I said don't!" she locks eyes with me and the sadness in them says that she's more than disappointed, and I couldn't agree more.

Except, not with her...I'm disappointed in myself, disappointed that I couldn't gather the courage to tell her the truth.

"Just...no" she says, then grabs her belongings and leaves without another word.

-

That argument left me feeling disgusted with myself. I should trust that Ariana would not think differently of me. She's not like any of the guys I've tried dating in the past. I just can't stop overthinking and worrying about the what if she doesn't? However, I'm not going to let that cloud my mind anymore. I want Ariana as my girlfriend, so I will tell her the truth.

I call Jasmine and get her caught up on everything.

FabBitch 🥴: Wow, today is just not your day girl

You: Tell me about it....and I still have to deal with Helen and my father...

FabBitch 🥴: So you're going?

You: Y-Yeah...

FabBitch 🥴: And you're sure? Remember you don't owe him anything, you're not inclined to go if you don't want too

You: I-I know...I've just been thinking a lot about what you said the other day, and I think you're right. Although he doesn't deserve another chance, and no matter how shitty he's been as a parent in the past, he's still my dad...and it would be nice if we can fix our relationship...

FabBitch 🥴: Well if you need me for anything, let me know. I got your back 110%

You: Thanks Jazz

FabBitch 🥴: Now, what do you plan to do about Ariana?

You: I mean the whole thing made her pretty upset, and I don't blame her. I should have told her sooner about myself like you suggested. I just wasn't prepared for her to ask me such a question. Don't get me wrong, I want her to be my girlfriend, I really do.

FabBitch 🥴: Then why would you tell her no?

You: I panicked! It didn't feel right to say yes without her knowing about what she was really committing herself too. I planned on telling her about "you know what" tomorrow or the day after, but now I'm not sure if we are even dating or whatever anymore...

FabBitch 🥴: Y/n breath. I may have only hung out with Ariana once, but that was enough for me to see that she really cares about you

You: You really think so?

FabBitch 🥴: Yes. Now whether or not your relationship progresses, is up to the both of you. From what I've heard, Ariana has had the tendency to move somewhat quickly into some of her past relationships, but that doesn't mean her feelings for you are any less real. It's just who she is and it's not like you guys met each other yesterday, you became close friends over the past two months.

You: True I just-

FabBitch 🥴: Don't you try to argue with me

You: Okay but how should I-

FabBitch 🥴: Shush!

You: ...

FabBitch 🥴: Give her time to calm down. Try to reconnect with your father first and then deal with Ariana. Okay?

You: Okay...

FabBitch 🥴: Good. Now stop stalling, get off your phone, and get in that restaurant! You can do this...

*Click*

I let out a frustrated sigh as I put my phone in my pocket and stare hesitantly at the restaurant before me.

Okay, this is nothing to be nervous about. Jasmines right, I can do this...I need to do this.

To Be Continued...

IMPORTANT PLEASE READ

A/n: How many of you are enjoying the pace of this story? I know it's quite slow and I leave you on a lot of cliffhangers, but I wanted it to be as realistic as possible. I plan to make this book pretty long, possibly even over 100-150 chapters. I haven't written anything with a character like Y/n before, but I'm doing my best folks. I know many of you comment stuff about Y/n's biology and question why I have the character think and do certain things. I never made this completely clear, but the character is meant to be struggling with their sexuality and most relationship stuff. This is because of the characters past and just how they have experienced things. They also lack some knowledge when it comes to relationships and getting physical because they haven't experienced much of that either. Anyway, I appreciate everyone's patience and kindness, and I hope the majority of you will stick with this book. Please don't hate on me if I get something wrong, and I PROMISE that the next couple chapters will be worth the wait. Almost everything I make happen in the story is for a reason! I will do my best to have the next chapter out in a couple days, because of how patient everyone has been! 🖤