Fallen Angel

Seven

The moment she awoke this morning, she already knew it was going to be a hard day. It happened occasionally. In the night, it crept back in. Slowly and silently like a fog. But this fog turned into a storm.

The emotions she tried so hard to bury came back, vengeful and angry. Inside her a storm was brewing. The sky was angry and roaring. She told it to shut up and she walked out the door.

But it was as stubborn as she was. Throughout the day the storm surged endlessly. Waves were crashing mercilessly against the shore. Cracking the stone, cracking her demeanor.

She was a ticking time bomb. She told herself she just had to last the day. But life liked to remind her things were easier said than done.

The crowded halls were personifying the hurricane inside her and she tried to move with the waves of people. But one surge caused her to bump into someone.

It was her friend. But perhaps friend was too generous of a word. Because the way she was looking at her was a look from a stranger.

"Watch it," the girl said without sparing more than a second in her direction.

And that was it. That was all it took. That one look became the spark. The final blow to the dam. One split second was all it took for her to get distracted and become drowned by the wave.

The pain and ache in her heart rushed forward. It pulled her through the hallways and out the door. However she only managed to arrive at the park across the street before it all came out.

She sat on the ground underneath a tree as she drowned from the inside out. She tried to put herself back together, piece by piece. But every time she thought she managed it, she would take a breath, her mind would creep back into that dark place and she would break all over again.

She wondered why she felt like she was always at war with herself. She wasn't sure why she cared so much about people. She wanted to help them, take away their pain. But there was no one left for her.

Her mind tried to reason with her, telling her they cared. But another voice liked to argue back. If they cared, it would be out of pity. Who she used to call friends only liked her because she was useful. If they cared, then why did she feel so alone?

If they cared, would they miss her if she was gone?

She felt someone sit next to her and gently place their arm around her shoulder. She looked up to see the boy. The one who had been there with her each day to and from school. The one who was here now.

She was too tired to put on her mask, so she let her tears fall.

"Can you talk me down from my racing thoughts? Just for a little bit?" She asked. "Because they are so unbelievably loud."

"What do you want me to say?" He asked.

"I don't know. I just don't want to feel like this anymore," she replied helplessly.

He squeezed her hand, and she thought that perhaps she was wrong. Maybe she did have a friend.

"I know," he said. "I know."