Love Under Cover

Her Decision

My mind's in chaos.

I don't know how I end up sitting here behind the wheel, hiding behind the tinted glass. Outside, the huge facade of the Supreme Court building glares arrogantly at me.

I grip the stirring wheel, frustrated that I can't get inside. I want to know how she's doing now and what they're talking about.

But I can't even step out of this damn rental.

In order to freely stay here, I asked my manager to rent a regular-looking car. I've been camping out for more than two hours now, hoping to catch even a single glance of her.

With hundreds of media people swarming in this area, even that seems impossible.

But luck might just be on my side today. Like an answered prayer, I finally see her.

My heart sinks as I watch her state. Tear-stricken and almost out of breath, she slows down as she runs farther away from the building.

Without a second thought, I leave my car and run towards her.

"Hyo Joo-yah!" I called for her.

She looks up with her clear hazel eyes full of tears.

"Jong Suk-ah..."

I can't think of anything else but to wrap her protectively in my arms. I pat her head gently, letting her know I'm just here for her.

Fuck the media. I don't care if we get into tomorrow's headline.

All I care about is showing her how much I care.

This is not the first time I've seen her look so vulnerable. My heart starts to beat erratically as I remember how she looked at me the last day of our filming.

She's looking at me now with those same eyes.

I feel her ease into my touch. For the first time in years, it's as if my heart has been revived.

But just as easily as she gave me warmth, she coldly lets go.

"I'm sorry. I- I have to go."

And just like that, I lost her again.

I pride myself in being strong.

Having an army officer for a father, I had no choice but to train myself to be strong.

I learned to protect myself from hurt, shield my heart from disappointment.

I even taught my heart how to be cold.

But for a moment, just one brief moment, I allowed myself to feel weak.

It felt good. It didn't lessen the pain.

But it felt so damn good.

Though it was brief, it was enough.

I can't do this to him. I can't drag him into my mess.

He deserves better.

I glance at my phone. 300 plus messages.

I'm sure my little fiasco at the court earlier sent the media into frenzy. I can already hunch what the articles will read like.

I've been in a bunch of scandals before. I've also been on the receiving end of bad publicity one after the other.

It never bothered me before.