Die Tonight - [5sos]

✨Two✨

I feel left out from the rest of my family. I have no talent, except being useless. My sister is a model and I am the ugly duckling. My brother an athlete, as if me I sit at home doing nothing. I wish I had the self confidence to be an athlete or even a model but I feel worthless. I feel that I don't live up to the exceptions of my parents, I let them down. I'm a disappointment. A burden.

Today is my first day of sophomore year, not excited. Some people may say that high school are the best years of your life , that's not true it sucks. I walk into school to see my best friend, Kayla screaming " PEYTONNN" embarrassing. I am at my first class and It is Spanish. I sat in the front and I can hear whispers and chuckling in the back, paranoid thinking they are talking about me. The day goes by so slow. The first week always kills me, the teachers all say the same shit over and over. I take the long way home trying to avoid going to my house as long as I can. I walk into my house and go up to my room where I hear my parents talking in their room I put my ear against the door to listen. "Why doesn't she do any sports or get into modeling? Jeff can you get her into the music industry? She needs to do something" I hear my mother say. I'm astonished on how they can just talk about their daughter like that. I might be over exaggerating.

The next day at school was awful. The guy that I liked since grade school laughed at ,w when I was tripped in the hallway. I kept telling myself that he was laughing because who doesn't laugh when someone falls but I really know he was laughing because he didn't care. All the "cool" guys always ask me to set them up with my sister, Sam she was perfect according to my parents and I am always compared to her. I have gym second block. I dread going. I'm not confident in myself , I hated myself And the reason for that is my family. I went to Kayla's house after school. She was of the most confident people I know. She is treated like crap but always kept her head high. I wanted to be like that.

I went home to my parents arguing But they suddenly stopped after they saw me. I went up to my bedroom and just listened to music until dinner. I hate family dinner , my siblings use family dinner to brag about what they are doing in their life. I don't care one bit.
I actually started to like school now, mostly because the first month is over and the new hot kid sits next me. I always catch him glancing. His name was Luke, Luke Hemmings. His name made me melt. I didn't think he noticed that I was a social freak yet. I would totally make out with him. Luke was the nicest hot kid I've ever talked to. He was just so hot I wanted to screech every time I heard his name. I was at my locker and I piece of paper fell out of it. I was worried to open it, but I did. It said " meet me in the band room @ 2:15 - ??" I really didn't want to go because it was most likely some girls wanted to prank me or something. Something was telling me to go, so I did. I made my way to the band room to see all the lights off. I sated " wow great prank is someone going to come and pour water all over me?" And walked away. Then I head a attracting notice from behind me, I turned to see Luke standing there with a white rose, my favorite flower. What was he doing? He said " Peyton I really like you, like a lot" "a boy like you can't like a girl like me you,don't understand." I said. " I don't care. I like you. That's all that matter, right?" Luke said with worried puppy eyes. " no it doesn't I don't belong with you. I actually don't belong to be here at all." I said as walking around. Looking back quickly I see Luke with his head down and the rose on the ground.

I felt so bad. I had to do that , you can't be in love with someone if you don't love yourself.

Luke doesn't sit next to me anymore. Now some girl sits next to me and all she does is give me dirty looks. Hate her. I left school during lunch, I could not be in that he'll hold any longer. When I got home my dad was pissed that I had left. I just ran up to my room anyway. Tonight's dinner was the worst. It was just my dad. Mom,and me. Great. There wasn't much talking until my brought up me leaving. She asked why and I just responded by saying that I was sick. Bullshit. I know my parents know that I am not happy. They give me eyes of sympathy, I don't buy it. They try the really do but it is all an act. They just want to be like my siblings. They want to be someone in not and I am a nobody. They convince me to join Clubs or track or something other than just at home alone. My dad worked in the music industry and I loved him for that and that only. I knew I was a disappointment to my father. He wanted to be a singer but I can't sing.
Luke doesn't even talk to me anymore and he doesn't even look at me. I don't think I did anything to him to hurt him, I mean I met him like 2 weeks ago I barley know your fav color.

I am hanging out at my cousins Ashton's house. He said his new friend is coming over. Someone knocked at the door and I assumed it was his friend so I just answered the door. It was Luke. I'm speechless. He just looked at me and walked In. Wow so disrespectful. Why did I ever even like him,he is a jerk. A hot jerk. I sat back down on the couch awkwardly as Luke was there too. He said he liked my arctic monkeys shirt. I just nodded and smirked. He just turned his head. Whatever. I really tired talking and being normal with Luke but he just like acted like I was t even there.

I asked Luke if I could talk to him alone and he agreed. I was pissed at him. "Why do you say that you are interested in me then move your seat and not even talk to me anymore. It's rude Luke. You don't cut someone out like that!" I said sternly. He didn't even respond he just looked at me for a minute right in the eye. As I stared to walk away as he grabbed and got close to my face and whispered so I could barely hear " I wanted too see if you wanted me as much as I wanted you." Suddenly are lips were perfectly molded together. I pulled back and smiled walking back into the house.

What did I just do? This isn't me. No one likes me unless they need something.