little fucker

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i woke up today feeling even worse than the time i ate hot cheetos and mountain dew for 4 days straight. i had to take a huge ass shit because i ate a whole bunch of fast food yesterday and the day after that. my stomach was so huge from it i could barely walk.

once i got to my hello kitty pink furry toilet i tripped and fell on my ass. it hurt more than the time i got spanked my a frat boy in a party. i finished taking the huge shit that made me cry and rip my ass. when i got up to flush i saw the little fucking tree looking bitch, but smaller.

i picked it up even though it touched my piss and ass. i carried it over to the rug and plopped it down. the little tree ass whore started screaming and crying. i obviously didn't know what to do because i don't know what in the hell this is. so i did what i do with every one of my problems, i beat the shit out it.

the little fucker stopped screaming eventually. my mom came in to my room to see what was happening. "what the shit is going on" my mom exclaimed. i replied with "uhhhh i had sex with a pillow". "oh ok" she chuckled.

once my mom left my room i ran to see what the hell was the now passed out maybe dead screaming branch looking ass baby.

when i tried to take a closer look the sapling sucker stood straight up and said in a deep manly voice "you are my fatha". did i just give birth to this plant whore?

the lanky dude started talking talking all types of weird shit that i didn't understand like tf was a 'jolly ranchers, sprite, cough medicine'?

i asked him who was he, did i give birth to give and why did i? he told me in his shaq sounding voice "i am your son, you fucked my motha so you give birth". why would i give birth to someone that looks like finn wolfhard's long leg? and i never fucked anyone-

-except...

~him~

so i accepted my faith and started raising this fucker as my own child. i gave him my wonka milk who my now son called "chunky titty milk". i hate the fact that i gave birth to him because now i have all this extra coochie skin.

i decided for the little bitch to have an uncircumcised penis because i didn't want to carry his foreskin around all the time. he grew faster than i thought and before i knew it he was too tall for my room. so i chucked him out my window. the window was closed so the dumb whore broke my window. at least he won't have to worry about his uncircumcised penis because the window cut it.

i decided he should live in my old dog's little house. my dog died because my uncle tried to fuck him and that gave him a heart attack. i fed him hotdogs because he said he liked hotdogs, i don't think he knew what they were before but ok.

he wanted to go to school so i told him to go because i don't care.

when he got back from his first day of school he told me he got bullied for being a tall tree ass fucker. i laughed at him but not in front of him because i'm trying to be a good mother. good mother's throw their child out windows too.

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