Complicated

Chapter 4: Pain

I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder and turn to look at the girl behind me. She has her sweater collar pulled up to cover her mouth and seems extremely nervous. Her eyes dart around not sure where to look. I recognized this girl, she was the one that I had seen around with Sauron. I'd never spoken to her but she seemed nice enough.

"Um...?"

"Yes?" I say, sort of cautiously.

"I-is y-your name Arden by any chance...?" Her stuttering makes it sound as if she's on a bumpy rollercoaster and her voice so quiet I have to lean in to hear her.

"Yeah why?"

I try my hardest to read her lips, but it isn't easy and I can't make it out.

"What did you say?" I lean in even closer, straining to hear her.

I barely hear the words as they exit her mouth, "Back off."

I move away and look at her in confusion, "What do you mean?"

She stands up straight trying to look intimidating but then immediate sinks back down. She then step past me to face Sauron head on and blushes immensely.

She looks as if she's about to have a heart attack but after closing her eyes for a second, stands up on her toes and...kisses him.

I stare, completely shocked. No words could express my feelings at that moment. This was true pain that I was feeling and no amount of physical torture could amount to it. I would have closed my eyes except that I couldn't move...couldn't blink...couldn't breath... I never thought that someone who I swore I had no feelings for, could break my heart like that. I've seen movies and read books about people that understand this feeling but I never could have even perceive the reality of it.

The next thing he does just twists the knife even more...he kisses back... He brings his hand up and presses it against her back, pulling her closer. I never met this girl, nor even knew her name...and yet she could hurt me this much.

I want to run...want to leave and never return, to never see his face again. I want to hurt him but I also want him to leave and never come back. My legs, I will them to move but they don't budge, leaving me to watch this seen, horrified. I can't feel my body, I can't even see past my own blurry vision, just the permanent image etched into my brain of them, of her, of him...

I finally break free from the trance, dash away and straight for the door. I want everything to disappear, so I run, run and run and run, never stopping for even a breath. I don't know how far i ran or how long it took me to get there but I'm in an open field where my legs give way and I collapse on the ground.

Tears had been falling for a while when I ran but this is when I truly broke down. I yelled out, not caring who heard. It was a long pained scream and afterward I was to tired to continue crying and just lay there.

A dream...that's all it is...that couldn't have happened...could it?

I'm sorry...but it did...

It didn't!

It did! Now just admit it and go back and face him!

Face him!? I couldn't possibly do that! I shouldn't be upset about this anyway! It shouldn't be a big deal!

Of course it is! He can't kiss other girls, it's just not right.

But he has no reason not to...we're not like...dating...

Still...

Still what!? He has no reason whatsoever to be binded to me, I turned him down before and that's it.

I clutch my chest, suddenly feeling dizzy, "It hurts..."