Complicated

Chapter 2: Falling

One swift movement and I'm lifted up into the air, high above the clouds and all other civilization. It's...terrifying..instant death looming benieth me if I were to fall. I thrash violently in the air but I feel almost completely restrained as if being binded by heavy shackles. I want the smooth grass back, the dirt between my toes and even the prickly weeds that accompany them.

Suddenly, falling, unable to grab ahold of anything and unable to prepare myself for the hit of my body against the ground. I wanted to be on solid ground but not through this means. I try to scream but along with the dropping feeling it also feels as if I'm drowning.

The ground is coming up quick, I can't do much else but brace for the impact. Then...nothing.

I jolt upright in my bed, panting and now wide awake. I lay back down and stare at the ceiling, unblinking. After quite a few minutes of nothing I shakily stand up and pull out whatever clean clothing I can find and then proceed to put them on.

The usual gray T-shirt and loose jeans, along with my same black hoodie. I take a quick glance in the mirror and then shake my head which throws my dirty blonde hair this way and then let it fall into its rightful place.

The bus isn't particularly exciting, as usual, and neither were my first classes. When lunch finally comes around though, my spirits are pirked up.

What, you miss him or something? You're walking quite fast to the cafeteria?

No, I'm just really hungry.

'Sure, that's it.

So there he is, sitting all relaxed like, just waiting. Whether waiting for me or just in general, it made me happy.

Just before arriving at the table I freeze.

What is wrong with me...

Obviously you are in deep passionate love.

No... nononono, I can't be, it's horomones, I have to stop this before it gets out of hand.

Do you really want it to stop though.

Of course I do! I don't want to lose the friendship we have.

Poor bastard...

Oh shut up.

I take a deep breath and walk over, he looks up and does a half smile that makes me both go limp and want to punch him in the face. I pull up an empty chair and am unable to look straight at him once again.

"Arden? You've been a bit off lately, are you...alright."

I panic, "Fine, fine, I'm fine...perfectly fine, why wouldn't I be!"

"Well you've been unable to look me in the eye ever since...'that' happened."

I simply clench my fists in response. I feel soft fingertips on my chin pulling my face up to look at him. I immediately feel that burning sensation on my cheeks but reluctantly stay put. His deep brown eyes stare into my blue ones, making me squirm in spot.

"Now tell me."

I shake my head and squish my eyes closed unable to bear his stare anymore. Although I know he's probably still looking at me, this is comforting.

He sighs, "Am I really such a horrible person that you can't even look at me."

I open my eyes, "No, th-" I get cut off when I notice the closeness of his face.

Only a few inches from mine, close enough that just a nudge would press our lips together. This was a nightmare for me, worse than this mornings one and yet this wasn't something I could wake up from. I would eventually hit the ground if I continued like this but it was to late. Like with the chackles his gaze held me unmoving and feeling the need to give in, to drop, to fall...

No please, let me go.

As if hearing my thoughts he removes his hand but doesn't let up his immense stare.

That's not what I meant.

This felt like a fairy tail and a nightmare combined. I don't want to fall for him...I can't...I won't... If I do I'll be afraid of losing him, I'll be afraid of hurting him, I'll be afraid of breaking him...I'll be just plain...afraid...

Such a wimp as to give into fear.

Yes...yes I am.

Then it hits me, like a bullet straight through my head. He's afraid to, I can feel it, in his eyes, in his breathing, in his heart. I swallow hard but my eyes stay locked, now searching his face desperatly.

I move back slightly away from his face, unblinking. Is he really...scared too... I can't even believe it, I always assumed him to be such a strong willed person, with nothing to lose. He takes a deap breath and seems to relax a bit and he backs off.

"Sorry."

"W-why are you apologizing?"

"I..." He looks almost in pain, "I don't know."

I realize I didn't even have to ask, because I knew just why, "I understand..."