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*trigger warning* (this contains attempted suicide so please read at your own risk)
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The water was always a place I felt at peace, even after Charlotte's death. Ironic enough. You'd think that since she had drowned in the ocean I would be afraid of it, quite honestly it was the opposite.
We had decided that we wanted to go midnight surfing that night, not knowing that a storm was heading our way. The waves were spectacular, nothing her or I had ever seen before. She dragged me out into the ocean and we rode a few waves together to shore. That's when her ego got the best of her, she had always thrived off of competition, especially that of her younger sister.
When she challenged me to the next wave I didn't even hesitate, we battled for it and when we nose dived, I cut her off and rode the wave to shore. I didn't realize that she got caught up in a torrent until it was too late. That night I lost my best friend. My rock. That night, two months ago today.
I glance down at the water, running my fingertips across it. This was it. This was the wave, my last wave. I start to paddle toward it and dive under, catching it at the right time. I ride it for a while, snapping occasionally and once I feel like I'm ready I fall back, diving into the water. When I resurface I unattach the leash around my ankle from my board. I glance up at the stars in the sky before taking a deep breath and go under, submerging myself into the abyss.
It's oddly warm and comforting, like it somehow knew that I was ready. Ready to go be with her. When I start to feel the burning sensation in my lungs I welcome it, sinking further down into the water, like I'm weightless. Just as I feel myself drifting away something, no, someone grabs me around the waist and pulls me up to the surface.
They drag me up to shore and I feel the familiar pounding inside my chest return as air starts to fill my lungs. My eyes flash open as I cough water out of my lungs and onto my face. "Thank god." I hear the person sigh and I glance around to see the last person I'd ever thought I would. JJ Maybanks.
"What the hell were you doing? Were you trying to get yourself killed?!" He practically spits at me, disbelief shown across his face. "That's not for you to worry about!" I manage to get out in between breaths as I sit up in the sand, his hand wrapping around my back to support me but I immediately brush it off.
"How did you even find me anyways, no one ever comes here, let alone at midnight?" I ask, cocking my head to the side, still trying to catch my breath and he shrugs. "I should ask you the same thing, what is a kook doing out here in Pogue territory? Shouldn't you be drunk off your ass in figure eight or some shut like that?"
I blink at him for a second and open my mouth to say something but he beats me to it, "Yeah I know who you are Delilah Covey. Part of one of the richest family's on the island and friends with the bitchiest people on the island. I'm sure you have a coy pond in the front of your house along with a Grady white attached to that expensive dock of yours."
I raise my eyebrows, signaling him to be done and let my gaze drift to the ocean right in front of us, "Its not as glamorous as it seems, clearly if I'm out here right now."
"We're you actually going to kill yourself? Let your body be found tomorrow washed up on someone's shore?" He half jokes but I could tell he was actually curious to hear my answer.
"So what if I was, what's it to you?" I pull my knees in closer to my chest, resting my chin onto them. "Oh c'mon your life really can't be that bad to end it all in Pogue infested waters. What does a kook like you have to worry about, having too many shoes?"
"You act like we don't have problems either, you do realize we're people too?" He doesn't say anything and I take a deep breath, preparing myself. "I had to watch my sister die right in front of me right here on this very beach. I pulled her limp body to shore and did mouth to mouth for thirty minutes until the ambulance showed up. All they did was cover her in a tarp and ship her off to the morgue. Do you know what that does to a person?" I could feel the tears start to pool in my eyes as my conscience pulled me back to that night on the beach.
"To have the person you were practically attached to the hip with die right in front of you and there was nothing you could go to save her. To have your parents avoid eye contact because whenever they look at you they see the daughter they lost. To have her face staring back at me in the mirror."
"You can't say that we don't have problems because I came out here with the full intention to let myself drown in that water but you had to pull me out. You had to save me. Who told you I needed to be saved? I want to die JJ! I don't wanna be here anymore!" By the end I was screaming at him as tears stained my cheeks.
Then he did something I never thought he would. He pulled me into a hug. He held me as sons racked my shaking body, his arms tightly wound around my waist. He smelled slightly like cedarwood and mint and his grasp was, well, comforting. He didn't say anything for a long time, he just let me cry into his shoulder, soaking his already wet shirt in more salt water.
"I know what it's like to lose somebody you love." He mumbles, pulling away from the embrace but reconnecting eye contact. "My mom left me when I was young, too little to understand what was happening and why. I haven't heard from her in years but I swear I can still hear her voice sometimes. Hear her sing to me when I went to bed and her chasing me around in the park after school before the walk home."
"I've got the same bruises you have on your arm and I'm sure on your stomach as well." He says, gesturing to where my dad touched me nights before. He had never used to be like that but when Charlotte died he became a different person. Losing her broke him as much as it broke me.
We sit in silence for a while, just listening to the waves crash onto the sand. JJ sitting less than a foot away from me I can feel the warmth radiating off of him.
"You know are nothing like I imagined Covey, nothing at all. I was expecting a prissy girl who only cares about money." He raises and eyebrow and me and I shake my head, letting out a small laugh. "So what am I then?"
"You're just as fucked to as the rest of us."
✧✧ I've had this in the vault for a little while and I've been keeping it for the right moment and I feel like the moment is now. The side of the story that you needed to hear: when JJ and del met for the first time. The scene that started it all. I know that I've been hinting about this scene for a while now but now that it's actually out in the open I feel like there's a weight lifted off of me like you know most of the story. Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I promise we'll get back to the real actual plot next chapter but I feel like this needed to be uploaded right after the last chapter. I'll see you guys soon!
