Cold Feet

Calm in the Storm

- 8 -

"Mom why are you here?" I immediately confronted Mom when Tita Lovel and Jho left us to go to the kitchen.

We found our mothers on the Maraguinot's patio, casually talking to each other while sipping their coffee. Tita Lovel was surprised to see Jho walking towards them, clearly not expecting her panganay's arrival. But what got her more floored was when she saw me trailing behind Jho, evident by her sudden upsprang and rush to give me a hug.

"What? Can't I visit your Tita Lovel?"

"Seriously, Mom?" I let myself display an exasperated look. Mom was making herself look like a 7-year old with how she's crafting her excuse.

I noticed Mom heaved a deep breath before throwing me the kind of look that a child makes when she got caught doing something she was not supposed to do.

"Nag-aaalala lang naman ako dun sa mag-ina."

"Mom, ako din naman. But we cannot always interfere with Jhoana's decisions. She's trying her best to stand strong and face the things she fears most. We have to give it to her."

"Anak, I meant no harm." Mom moved her hand to hold mine. "Pero nanay din ako. I couldn't imagine how would I feel or how would I react if one day you go home and tell us you're pregnant. What more if I had to deal with that on my own?"

I gently squeezed Mom's hand to let her know that I understand where she's coming from. With Tito John and Jaja out of the country, Tita Lovel is all by herself. I know Mom is just concern and just being a friend to Tita Lovel, but we can't step beyond where we are allowed. This is a family matter. And we are outsiders.

"You can still support Tita Lovel even without being here. Hayaan na muna natin si Jho at ang mama nya na makapag-usap nang sila lang. Please, mom?"

She let out a sigh, once again.

"Fine," Mom, looking defeated, said. She agreed to go home with me but not without bargaining to stay until dinner. She said she promised Tita Lovel that she'll stay the night and that Tita had already prepared for dinner. Pumayag na rin ako.

"Ikaw naman kasi anak, kasalanan mo din 'yung nangyari." Mom blurted out after minutes of silence. Sinabayan nya pa ito ng pag-iling.

"What?" I was buffled. Anong kasalanan ko? Para namang ako 'yung nakabuntis kay Jhoana.

"None of these things will ever happen kung hindi ka mabagal."

I felt my face and ears heated up with what I heard.

"Naunahan ka tuloy kay Jhoana."

"Mom!" Was all that could utter through gritted teeth.