Everglow

Chapter 7

The boat rocked precariously on the choppy water as Xand and I observed the movements of the crew with slow deliberation, wanting nothing more than to be alone with my thoughts. I knew that I could perform this task on my own, I had carried out many others of a far greater difficulty and yet I was lumbered with a crew who either feared what was in my blood or just simply did not want to be here either. It would take us many weeks to get to the land of the Necromancers', and so we had to plan a careful route that would allow us time on land, though we would not see the first stretch for at least a week. 

"It is beyond me that a race of people who have literal wings and are aware of other dimensions are yet to adopt the aeroplane," I huffed gently at Xand as I watched the group begin to set up their quarters, my own separated from them in the Captain's room upstairs. I didn't feel much up to talking as Xand let out a hearty laugh, following closely on my tail as I made my way upstairs. 

"It is important that we do not disturb the balance, or what you know as physics, it is very different here, we are a people of magic not rules of maths. For example, this is an enchanted ship, as long as she knows the course she follows without the need of a captain behind the wheel and many of the other crew that would be needed are not," He shrugged gently as I let out an exasperated sigh, wanting nothing more than to be in my little dive once more with my favourite malt in hand and the sounds of brawls and low country music in the background. 

"I want this over with quickly, and as much as I admire your Mother, you would think swifter disposal of any Necromancer would be necessary, we are giving them weeks to grow and flourish in numbers and power," I grumbled at him as I messed with the dark hair on my head, ruffling it about without care as his hand caught mine, pulling me into him tightly. 

"The life in this dimension is unlike others, we do not possess the same urgency of your modernity and we also trust in what our dear Gods wish for us," He hummed softly, lips pressed so close to my ear that I could feel the warmth of his breath fan against my cheek as one hand moved to rest against my head whilst the other moved to the small of my back. He began rubbing gentle circles in both as I felt the tension begin to lift within me. I let out a small, involuntary purr, much to his amusement and my embarrassment, not able to fully control the pleasure the wolf within me felt at his gentle motions. I felt at peace, for the briefest of moments, wrapped up in his warmth and the love he seemed to project onto every ounce of my body. 

The stars had long since formed in the sky, and though I knew I needed to make friends with the people in the cabin below, I could not bring myself to do it tonight. There was too much exhaustion trapped within me. An exhaustion that had been there for years but was only beginning to lift now under Xandro's tender embrace and the feel of the ship bobbing gently beneath my feet. At that moment, wrapped up in the arms of the only person who had ever truly cared for me, I decided to let go. I felt my body sink into him as if we could become one person. For the first real-time, in possibly our whole friendship, I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly and pulled his body against me. He let out a small huff, in my completely unexpected act as he pulled me even tighter against him so we were impossibly close. 

I felt my breath begin to quicken as tears threatened to spill from my eyes, and for the first time since I had become a teenager, I allowed myself to feel truly again. Not the anger and the hatred that had consumed me but something else. I allowed myself to feel scared, to feel vulnerable, and above all I allowed myself to feel love in a way I thought I could never allow. 

The tears had fallen from my eyes before I even knew what was happening, hot and wet though I could not stop them, nor did I want to. I could feel Xand's heart-pounding the same quick pace as mine as he gathered me up in his arms and moved me over toward the bed with deliberate movement. In all our years of friendship, he had never seen me let out a tear. I had almost died many times in his arms, and yet a tear, nor barely an emotion had slipped from me. Right now I felt raw, more exposed than the day I was born or when he had seen me bathe. He hovered over me on the bed, his calloused hand moving slow circles on my face as he gathered up a tear and wiped it away. His eyes, pink and glittering with more affection than I thought possible, looked down towards me as he shifted so that most of his body covered my own. 

"You're free Flynnie. From the moment we jumped through that portal they could no longer have their hold on you. You can do what you want, you can allow yourself to feel and to be loved. You're here, with me, and it's real," He whispered the words against my skin, the very words that I wanted to hear. If not for the validation that I was free, then for the truth that I could feel as I wanted to. That my tears were allowed. That I was now my own person who was in control of my own fate. Therein lied something terrifying though. I was now the executor of my own fate and I could blame nobody but myself if all were to go wrong. 

 The boat jolted suddenly on the waves once more as Xand's body was thrown more fully into mine so that we were barely a breath apart. All I could focus on was his sheer beauty. It was something that had always amazed me, how truly beautiful this man was. He was in my eyes the perfect being. Both tender at heart and with an amazing strength of character that paralleled a face that was almost pristine. The only sign of a fault on him was the scar on his face that I had caused him. Of course, I was his only flaw. But his beauty was enrapturing and I found myself completely trapped within the affection of his warm gaze. As I looked at him, with the boat rocking our bodies gently on the waves of the night I felt a peace wash over me and a wistful sadness. 

Xandro was a prince. He should never have been caught up in my despair. I found myself once again faced with the reality that I was an object of destruction. I was from the moment I was conceived and I would continue to be until the moment my body was six feet under. 

"Flynnie," I heard him whisper from above me as he brushed the hair away that had fallen against my cheek. He knew all of my thoughts. We had not been in one another's presence for so long without the ability to fully understand one another. Lying atop me, barely a breath apart was the man I truly loved and adored, yet I could not bring myself to admit this out loud. The second I made those thoughts reality something would destroy them. 

"It's okay Xandro, I will never be free of the binds the universe has given me, I won't ask for anything at all, especially not your sacrifice, but for tonight can you stay with me?" I asked him gently, not wanting his warmth to leave me as I realized that the reason I was ever kept around was that I was destruction packaged neatly in a petite woman without a thing in the world that would care in she imploded. That was all I could ever be. 

"Of course Flynn, I'm here always. No matter where you go or how far you try to deny what's inside, I'll always be here," he hummed softly as he gently began to slip his clothes off. I could never deny that I loved him, at least in my head I couldn't. The issue lied in the fact that to admit it would be to further entangle him in the mess of my life and possibly destroy the only person who ever supported me. It had never been that I didn't love him, but that I loved him too much to let him get hurt at my expense. Under the flickering candles of the ship, he was cast in his most beautiful light. The flickering of the flames picked up every slight movement of his lean torso as the muscles in his arm flexed gently. He was adonis in his finest form. I removed my own clothes, blowing out the candle on my side of the bed so that he could not see the scars that riddled my body. At least for tonight, I wanted him to forget my role in this universe. 

I slipped under the silk sheets, the fatigue of the day hitting me fully as a wave of sleepiness hit my body. I felt a firm arm wrap around my body and pull me against a welcomed cold chest, the muscles rippling with every slight movement as he pulled me in close. 

"Flynnie you're beautiful. Every inch of you was crafted perfectly by the universe and I would not change a single thing about you. I need you. I want to wrap you in my arms every night," he began gently as I felt sleep begin to take ahold of me. "And I want to kiss every inch of your beautiful body, and make you feel pleasure and love like you could never imagine," He whispered against my skin, fingers gently dancing along the sensitive skin of my waist as I felt my breath catch in my throat. "You're my love Flynnie, and my partner for life, I will always be here, to love you more than you can possibly think." He pulled me unimaginably tighter, bodies flushed together in the darkness of the room as I finally allowed sleep to pull at my mind and whisk me away to a far happier place.