I watched her. As she layed their motionless. Her eyes closed, lips dry and cracked. Her eyes look sunken in. And it's like she's been sleeping forever. My poor baby girl.
Charlie's been in the hospital for 3 days in a medically induced coma. They say something is wrong with her brain that's making her have seizures. They're running any test they can but still haven't found the cause.
" Hey baby. " Toby says nervously as he walks into the room with some Wendy's and my change of clothes. He looks at her and gives her a kiss, he sets everything down and looks at me. " How is she? "
" She's everywhere. One minute she's stable and the next her heart rate is going up. " I sigh with tears in my eyes. " You would know that if you didn't leave. " I say bitterly and he scoffs.
" Don't even go there. " He says shaking his head and i scoff. " You think i wanted to go to practice today Haven? You think i rather been running laps then being with my own daughter? You have got to be fucking kidding me! " He says angrily and i flinch. " You know what. I need some air. " He says clentching his jaw and walking back out.
My phone dings and i look down to see that it's Aiden.
Aiden: On my way up with a bag of Ruffles so be ready for sass.
Aiden ofcourse always had a way of making me smile at bad times. So when he walked in i immediately hugged him and he sighed as he let me go and looked at Charlie.
He tells me that everyone is in the waiting room. Knowing them they're probably being loud and obnoxious, but I'm grateful to have them here.for us. For Charlie.
" My white girl. " He says and frowns as he pets her small head. " She gots this, she's a fighter. " He says gulping and lickin his lips. " You listen here sleeping beauty you better wake up or imma hop up in there and wake you up myself. " He says and you can hear his voice breaking.
I hug him from behind and the nurse walks in with the doctor. So he walks out. And Toby walks in. " Mr. And Mrs. Reyes. " He says clearing his throat and Toby wraps his arm around my waist. " I'm afraid the tests did not show anything good. To be honest it's life threatening. "
My hearts starts caving in and tears fall down my cheeks. " Please tell me my b-baby, tell me she's gonna be okay. "
" I can't say that. " He says gulping and setting his clipboard down to hold both his hands. " We found a tumor. It's in her brain and it's growing quickly. "
It feels like the world around.me slowed down. Like his speech started to slur and my eyes widen. The room starts spinning Toby looks at me as i feel my body shake. " I-I . " I stutter as nothing comes out and i just start sobbing. Toby holds me as he tries his best to keep himself composed.
" Mrs. Reyes we have to do some more tests and tomorrow morning do surgery. It's her best hope. " The doctor says frantically as i panic. I nod and the nurse calls more nurses so they wheel Charlie out to go do tests. " I promise to do anything, everything i can. " He says and runs behind the nurses.
" Listen to me baby. " Toby says as i panic and sob. He holds my face with his hands and i scream. " Haven baby, relax! Everything will be okay. Everyth- "
" Liar! " I yell and slap his hands away. " Your a fucking liar! She could die, she's so little. " I whimper and i feel my knees buckle. " I would do anything. I would give my life for her. God why are you doing this! " I yell up at the ceiling.
Hunter runs in and looks at me frightened. " Baby sister we all know what's wrong but we're gonna be here okay? " He says trying to calm me down. " Look at me. " He says and i do. " Dont give up on her, she's little but she has a mean right hook. Take it from someone who was changing her diaper and got jabbed. " He smiles and i giggle inbetween my sobs.
----
I agreed to stay home with Toby. I had been in the hospital for almost a week. No sleep, no food. I haven't talked to Toby and whenever i did i threw all my anger towards him.
I was laying in bed in just one of his old baseball jerseys. Waiting for him to jump out the shower and come cuddle with me. But when he cake out extra Godly with his towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping across his body. I knew he was ticked off.
He pulled on some red boxers and grabbed his pillow but i hled on to the other end of it with a worried face. " I'm sleeping on the couch. " He says flatly. " You think your the only one suffering here and that's not fucking fair Haven-" He sighs and takes the pillow. " She's my daughter too! " He says his voice cracking.
I pull him into a tense hug and he stiffens with tears running down his face. My heart sinks and i kiss his neck, not in a sexual way. In a wanna kiss all your problems away .
" Babe stop. " He whines wiping his tears and i smile as he looks at me like a little boy. " Stop it. Your turning me on. And i dont wann- Okay maybe i do but still. " He groans and i wrap my arms around his neck so he hovers over me on the bed.
" I just wanna cuddle and possibly kiss a little. Charlie's getting tests done my brothers there, i just wanna not think about anything. "
He kisses my cheek and nods pulling out his phone. " Chinese food and The Notebook it is baby girl. "
---
" Baby stop. " She giggles and eat her last sweet and sour chicken. She whimpers and puts the empty box on the counter. " Toby that was my last one your meany. "
I kiss her chin and her jaw and her neck and she laughs trying to kick away from me. " You love me? " I mumble against her lips and she nods. " You better fucking love me. "
" Oh yeah? Well maybe i do, maybe i dont. " She tests crossing her arms and i smile. " Ah who am i kidding your my baby! My fucking cinammon apple! " She screetches and i cant help but start laughing.
" You wanna get some sleep or.. " I say playing with her lower lip. " Lets go to sleep, we have a long day. " I say and she nods with a heavy sigh.
I cuddle upto her and kiss her till she falls asleep.
I know she's happy on the outside. But i also know that on the inisde she's dying. Im waiting for the walls to come down and for her to really reach out and let it go.
Sometimes its okay to drop the smile and shed a couple tears.
Your not human if you dont.
