Things that belong together

NTA's

"I love you, Dec. I love you to bits."

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It was another day. Another day in London, filled with nothing but waiting, hoping, praying. Another day where Anthony McPartlin would just sit on his bed or couch for hours, staring either at the ceiling or down to his phone as if to force it to ring. He caught himself getting used to scrolling through his and Dec's WhatsApp-chat, smiling at all the memories that flooded his mind at the sight while his heart stinged with pain. He almost laughed out loud when he remembered the silly conversation about emoticons once on I'm a Celeb, another time he was on the verge of tears when he saw the little GIF of a teddybear, saying I love ya.

It had been almost a week. Six days since the accident, six days in which Dec died twice, six days in which he hadn't woken up. Ant started to get really annoyed. He was worried like hell, scared, helpless. Every day he would drive over to the hospital and ask the doctor or one of the nurses "How is he? Is he awake?" And always he would be answered with "No, he isn't awake yet, well call you as soon as he is. His body needs its time." After this chat, he would sit at Declan's bed, holding his hand and telling him about his day, work, his stepdaughters. He would tell him, how much he missed him. He would tell him that Isla had been there with Ali yesterday. Other times he would just sit there and fight the tears that seemed to overwhelm him every day a little more.

People around him started to worry. Anne-Marie was the first one to notice the massive change of her boyfriend's behaviour, the lack of humor, the forced smiles that didn't reach his eyes. The tension if his body when she hugged him, showing that there was only one person who he wanted to hug right now. The bags under his eyes, prooving sleepless nights. His empty glance out of the window or onto his phone as if he expected Dec to call him or to walk down the streets. Poppy and Daisy also noticed that their stepdad wasn't alright. Had they first come to cheer him up regualrely they now knew that it was better to leave him be.

But also Dec's family had noticed Ant's condition. Anne knew how much Dec's state affected the man and she could understand his worry too well. But it was the resignation that shocked her. She had expected Ant to cry almost every day when she saw him in the hospital, had expected him to beg for Dec to wake up, to maybe snap at someone - but nothing. The man seemed almost apathetic, empty. As often as she saw him, she would never see him cry. He seemed hopeless. Not that he had given up on Dec though. He would never give up on him. Dermott was the one to experience that. On the same afternoon he had given Ant the rosary, the man had come to him to give it back. Dermott remembered Ant's pale face, his numb glance and his shaking hands as he handed him the rosary. But he had shaken his head. "Keep it, Ant. I've got another one, this is just the one I take with me on trips. And I think..." He had hesitated there, wondering whether to say the words or not, but decided for it: "I think, Dec needs a friend to pray for him right now." Ant had pressed his lips together and nodded, half in agreement, half to say thanks. Dermott had thought that Ant would bring the rosary home and maybe forget about it. But the next time he had seen him, Ant had worn it around his neck.

And there it was, still. On this mentioned, sixth day, Ant sat on his sofa, mobile phone on the coffee table next to the mug of tea Anne-Marie had made him before going out with Poppy and Daisy. He knew that his family worried about him, even his mam had called him to check up on him, even though he hadn't even had the strength to tell her about Dec's accident (He expected that Anne had called Christine). But he just wasn't able to pull himself together. He knew that he should be working, practicing for the BGT shows, maybe meeting the producers to talk about the script. But he simply couldn't. He felt like there was a hole in his chest, a hole that could only be fixed by Dec waking up and until it wasn't fixed he couldn't do anything. Not that the others wouldn't understand. They were just as worried, but they started to worry about the show as well. They were dependant on the show being good, they needed the quotes.