Things that belong together

I can't do this without you

"No, Ant, he isn't. Dec is alive."

Ant stared at the woman in front of him, thinking that he was still sleeping. Dreaming. He was tempted to pinch himself to make sure he was awake. "He.. he is alive?", he whispered barely audible. Anne smiled fondly but sad. "Yes. The doctors didn't tell me anything specific, they just put him out of surgery and told me that they have him back to life. Still unconscious though."

Ant buried his face in his hands, shaking with pure relief. "Oh thank God, oh thank God. I gotta see him", he said quietly. "A nurse said she would get us as soon as he is in his room", Stephen admitted. He tried to stifle a yawn and Ant's expression softened. He couldn't verbalize how much he appreciated what Stephen had done for him today. He stood up and pulled his friend in for a tight hug. "Thank you, Stevey. For everything. You've done so much for me today, I can't even tell you how thankful I am. You are a great friend." Stephen smiled and squeezed Ant's shoulders gently. "You're welcome, Ant. You would've done the same for me, wouldn't ya?" He winked and Ant smiled.

A nurse walked up to them and smiled at the sight of the completely tired trio. "Hello Mrs. Donnelly, Mr. McPartlin, Mr. Mulhern, Sir. So sorry that I meet you in such a sad situation. Come on, I think you want to see Mr. Donnelly?" She didn't wait for the three syncronised nods and started walking down the hallway. While they entered a corridor that had a sign which said Intensive Care Unit, the nurse started explaining.

"Well, I'm really sorry to say that, but... Mr. Donnelly's condition isn't the best. His heart stopped twice already... that's no good sign. He has a severe skull fracture, a few broken ribs and a cerebral hemorrhage. That's the worst part, because the pressure might damage his brain. He's in a coma now and... well, let's say if he survives the night it's looking a bit better for him. I just don't want to give you any false hopes."

Ant felt dizzy out of a sudden and reached out for the wall besides him to not fall to the floor again. Anne stopped immediately and put a supportive hand on his arm. "Deep breaths, Anthony. You can do that, come on, that's right. You okay?" Ant took a deep breath and nodded.

The nurse stopped in front of a door with the room number 124. She opened the door and let them in. The sight that was offered to them made all of their hearts clench. Declan lay on white sheets under white blankets but even them seemed grey in comparation to Dec's face. Not a single drop of blood seemed to be in his face anymore, he had dark shadows under his eyes and looked incredibly fragile, as if a single touch could make him break. Machines and bags with fluids were connected to is arms and the constant beep beep beep of the machines made them realize that it was only them what kept the man alive.

"Oh Declan", Anne whispered and rushed to her boy's side. While she stroke her son's head and mumbled soft words into his ear, Stephen and Ant stood in the room, holding onto each other to stay upright. Seeing their friend in such a helpless state made their eyes sting with fresh tears. No one knew how much time had passed when Anne wiped her eyes and eventually left Dec's side. Stephen wanted Ant to go to his friend but he shook his head. "No, you go first", he mumbled.

Ant felt awful. He wanted anything but holding Dec's hand, staying by his side, but he was scared. Seeing his best friend on the bed in front of him, so innocent, weak and helpless, made his body shaky and his legs wobbly. But eventually, Stephen had said what he wanted to say and it was only Ant left. Under the reassuring eyes from Anne and Stephen, he walked over to Dec's bed. Every step felt like a hike upon a mountain but finally, he reached the plastic chair and sank down on it. "Oh Dec. Oh my Dec, what did just happen to you? You can't leave me, Decky, I need you, you understand? I can't do this without you. Career. Telly, Life. I simply can't do it without you. You won't leave me, Dec, will you?"