The Whispers

20: Touching

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia, American motivational speaker and author.

Unsurprisingly Harper broke his promise again.

The second we got back to my house he had ripped open a bottle of pills, downed three, and put three in my mouth. They were small, circular, and white. The taste made me want to throw up but soon I could feel whatever it was taking effect, I felt as if the ground beneath my feet had vanished and I was flying.  I'm invincible.

I like whatever it was I took. It's strong.

Opioids are substances that frequently produce a euphoric effect. When Harper gave me opioids, I almost immediately felt the intense pleasure and excitement that came with it. I like the substance and I should take it more often.

I danced on the table as Harper held my hand to keep me from falling. We kissed for what felt like hours and I drank until I blacked out. The next day I wake up to Harper with a needle in his arm.

"I've never seen you with needles," I comment, suddenly craving whatever is being injected into him. An unexplainable need to take something, anything, it doesn't need to be what's in the needle, takes over and I reach for him.

"I went out this morning," he groans as he removes the needle. "Got 'em for free."

"Why?" I wonder what drug dealer in their right mind would give away anything for free.

"Candy has me test his shit before he sells it," he explains, a smile on his face as he walks towards the bed. "If I die he doesn't sell it."

"Is that... normal?" I wonder. I'm not very educated in the world of drug dealing.

"Only for Candy," he says, "And it only happens with people who used to work for him. If we want out we have to take whatever he wants so he doesn't accidentally kill any of his clients. He's respected and he wants to keep it that way."

"I don't want you to risk your life," I tell him.  If I lost him, too, I might actually lose my mind. I'm not sure what would happen but he's currently the only thing keeping me sane... well, sane enough.

"I trust Candy," he kisses my cheek and moves to that his stomach is pressed against my back. "Would you rather me go back to dealing."

"It might be less of a risk," I tell him. My urge to take something from his box grows stronger by the minute and I'm starting to feel anxious that I might not get to it.

"I'll ask if he'll let me," his lips move against my throat as he brings his head up, taking my earlobe in his mouth and tugging. He's trying to make a move but all I want is what's in the box.

"Please," I whimper and he takes that as a sign to unbutton my shorts. "No, Harper, please get me something. Anything from the box."

"Shit," he scurries away from me as quick as he can and stumbles over nothing. "Yeah, of course, I can, I'm sorry."

He takes out a needle and brings it to me.  Usually, needles scare me but something about this one excites me.

"Do you want to try it?" He asks. "It's heroin."

I nod my head quickly and hold out my arm. I feel like I'm sweating all over and all I need is some kind of release or else something bad will happen like the world will end.

I feel the tip of the needle sink into my skin. I heard once that taking heroin just one time can create an addiction. I don't think that matters at this point - the box has already ruined me completely and a needle full of heroin probably won't make a difference. I sigh as Harper injects the drug in my body and I grin when he takes it out. I feel calmer now.