Alpha's Blue (BXB)

Chapter Eleven

As four of us doodled on the paper, somewhere along the line I had gotten used to having my knees hovering over Nicolas'. Though I was still conscious of it and was trying not to move it too much in case it annoyed him.

We all were done with our cards in the next hour or so. The hour thankfully wasn't spent in complete silence as the door was wide open and the chattering noise from the outside was loud enough. Beside that, every now and then someone would knock on the door and ask Nicolas or Marco to help them with something. Though these two only provided instructions to the one on the door, they'd still leave with a 'thank you' and a smile.

Tobias collected our cards as soon as we said we were done and looked through each of them carefully. "I like them all. Thank you." He hugged the cards close to his chest and got off Nicolas' lap.

He almost danced on his way over to a wooden closet in the corner. Nicolas got up and helped him open the door without a word and helped Tobias put his birthday cards inside. There was a small stack of cards already stored inside and Tobias neatly placed the new three ones on top of it. Once done, he walked away and Nicolas closed the door quickly.

This time Tobias decided to settle on my lap, maybe because Nicolas was standing near the closet. My back straightened and backed away from him unconsciously. I never had to deal with a kid before and honestly didn't know how to.

I sat there awkwardly until Nicolas settled down beside me again. This time his knee hovered over mine and I couldn't help but smile.

"Get up. You're bothering him." He said to Tobias and extended his arms to pick him up.

"No, it's okay." I forced myself to act normal and curved my painfully straight back. I put my hand on Tobias' head and ruffled his hair, while my other hand supported me to lean back.

Nicolas dropped his hand halfway and crossed his arms across his chest. The room became silent when the noise stopped from the outside and it stayed silent until Marco spoke up.

"You know, Blue likes to read those werewolf books." He supplied.

I knew from his tone that he had only meant that as a joke, but for the first time ever I wished he hadn't broken the silence, at least not by saying something as embarrassing as that. I lowered my head and cursed myself for letting him know that. I didn't mean to let anyone know that, ever.

My cheeks flushed when I heard Nicolas chuckle. I could feel vibrations through our touching knees and I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle.

"He already knows so much about us. It's amazing." Marco added and said the last sentence in an overly enthusiastic voice.

I could no longer decide if he was trying to help us break the ice or was just doing it for fun. Probably a mix of both, I guessed.

"He didn't even freak out or run away. Isn't that unbelievable?" His voice had gotten sickeningly sweet and I could feel my cheeks burning bright.

To help myself feel better, I decided to look at Tobias instead, looking at the door wasn't helping me much anyway. Tobias seemed to be drawing something on one of the blank paper. So far, he had drawn a brown dog-like creature. Or at least I thought it looked like a dog, because of the four obvious legs and two pointed ears.

I was glad to see that he didn't look interested in hearing the rubbish Marco was spewing at the moment. Maybe I needed to start drawing to ignore Marco just like him.

"And look at how good he is with kids. He would be a great Luna."

The colored pen I had picked up slipped from my grip. His words stunned me and I pulled my shaking hand back from the table. I knew what that word meant but I didn't expect him to bring it up, especially not when Nicolas still hadn't said a word to me. I didn't even know what he thought about this and me. My heart raced as I waited for his response, different scenarios ran through my mind until I heard him.

"That's enough, Marco." His voice was firm and even.

But to my mind, he sounded irritated and pissed.

I didn't notice Nicolas leaving until Marco shook my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Follow him. What are you waiting for?" He hissed as if he wasn't scolded just a few moments ago.

"He seems angry." I said, looking at him walking toward the woods from the opened door.

"At me, not you. You're his mate, your presence will calm him down." He mumbled quietly and picked up Tobias from my lap. After settling down Tobias on his lap, he looked at me again. "Come on, go."

I got up and took off after him without another thought. What Marco said made sense. Nicolas couldn't be mad at me, we were supposed to be mates. From what I knew, mates were the missing half of one's soul. And so far, I hadn't given him a single reason to be mad at me. There was nothing to worry about.

I had to run after him to catch up, but thankfully he stopped after a while and just stood there with his back to me.

"Hi." I breathed out, once I reached him. I was breathing heavily, but it wasn't as bad as the time Marco dragged me.

Nicolas neither responded nor turned around even after I had gotten my breath under control. I had no idea what to say but I was sure it would look weird if I chased after him so far only to leave without saying anything. So, I started from the very beginning.

"The day I saw you, I thought you were a dream. I thought you would disappear if I even blinked and you did." A humourless laugh escaped me.

"I tried to forget you, but then Marco told me that you are a werewolf and we are mates." I paused for a breath before resuming. "I don't expect you to like me just because of that. But, I thought if we could get to know each other." I racked my brain for more. "I- we can be friends first, if you-"

"And then what?" He questioned, cutting me off. "Can you leave your world behind to live here with us?" He turned around to glare at me. "Are you even aware of the difficulties we go through on a daily basis here?" He extended his hands to gesture to the trees around us.

"My mate will have to protect and care for the pack members along with me, but as a human, you'll be needing someone to protect and care for you all the time. And as an Alpha, my first priority is and always will be my pack members. Will you be fine with that?" The disdain in voice was clear as day. He wasn't asking those questions for me to answer, he was just proving his point - that we weren't suitable.

It took me a while to collect my thoughts and speak up.

"You're right. I can't leave everything behind to live here, but that's not because I'm scared. It's because I will never leave my grandma alone. She has taken care of me all my life and now it's my time to take care of her." I swallowed to stop my throat from closing up. It felt like even my voice wouldn't be able to pass through it at this point.

His own throat bobbed up and down visibly and he looked away.

"I'm thankful to you for being honest with me." I bowed my head slightly and swallowed again. "I'll be going now."

Despite how broken I felt walking back home, I was proud of myself for not breaking down until I was confined within the walls of my room.

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You're beautiful. Thanks for reading!

P. S. Don't hate me ;-;