Alpha's Blue (BXB)

Chapter Forty

"Can you be honest with me?" I asked Marco after we had sat in silence for the past few minutes. "Please?" 

He nodded. 

"How's Nicolas? Is he actually okay?" I lifted my legs and hugged them against my chest. 

When Marco hesitated, I knew he wasn't okay. 

"He isn't, is he?" I tried again. 

Marco lowered his head, avoiding my gaze. "I honestly don't know. His wolf took over right after we got him there. He hasn't been back since then." 

"His wolf… It must be keeping him safe, right?" I asked, naively keeping the hope alive. 

He shook his head and my heart sank. "We had to restrain him. An Alpha in heat can be frightening." 

"You said you were keeping him sedated." I reminded him of our conversation from before. 

"It isn't helping much." 

My hold on my legs tightened and I buried my face in between my knees, trying to keep it together. 

"I'll go. I can help him." I declared after a few minutes of thinking. Getting to my feet, I stood up in front of him. "Come on. Let's go." 

Marco stared at me before shaking his head. "Nicolas made me promise-" 

"People my age have already done it. It's not like I'm special. It shouldn't be such a big deal. I'm okay with it and he'll be okay as long as we-" 

Marco stood up suddenly, cutting me off. He grabbed my shoulders and guided me back to the chair. "Calm down." He whispered, letting go of my shoulders. 

"If you want him to hate himself for the rest of his life then let's go." He sat back down in his chair and continued. "Our life span is twice yours. That's a very long time to bear such guilt. Though he might not even last that long with it." 

I slumped further into the chair, feeling all the strength leaving my body. 

"I promised him I'll keep our pack safe and that includes you." Marco stood up again. "You can stay here for the night if it makes you feel better. If not, I'll walk you back home." 

"I'll stay." I answered, feeling defeated. 

"Is there anything you want me to help you with?" 

I shook my head. 

He gave me a smile before opening the door. "I'll be right outside. Let me know if you need anything." 

"Okay."

~~~

I peeked through the door to find Marco still sitting outside Nicolas' cabin. "Aren't you going to sleep?" 

"Aren't you?" He retorted right away. 

"I tried but…" I shrugged, trailing off. Clutching Nicolas' blanket to cover myself completely, I opened the door and stepped outside. "Why are you sitting here?" 

Marco shrugged, looking away from me. 

Quietly I went over to crouch beside him. "Aren't you cold?" 

"I went to check up on Nicolas. He knows you're here. His wolf, I mean." 

"And Nicolas?" 

Marco shook his head with a sigh. 

"So, should I leave?" I wondered out loud. 

"I don't think that'd help." 

I tightened the hold on the blanket, suddenly feeling cold. 

"You'll catch cold sitting here." 

Despite hearing that, I made no move to get up. "It feels kinda strange in there without him." 

"I can take you back if you want." 

"No, no. I'm fine." I started when I saw him about to stand up. "I'll go back on my own in the morning." 

Marco settled back beside me and I tried to make out his expression in the dark. 

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked, meeting my gaze. 

I shrugged, not knowing how to answer his question. "Do you think letting him know that I'm leaving would be better? It should make Nicolas react at least, right?" 

"It'll probably make him more distressed." 

"Right…" 

He seemed to be lost in his thoughts before he spoke again. "I'm going to check up on him again. You should try to get some sleep." 

I nodded and got up reluctantly. "Good night." 

Just as I was about to open the cabin's door, I spoke up. "Marco! Uh- You've always helped me a lot. So, thank you."

Marco flashed me a smile and turned to leave just as I closed the door behind me. 

~~~

"Grandma." My voice stopped her just as she was about to head upstairs. 

"Yeah?" Turning around, she came to sit beside me on the couch once again. "What's wrong?" 

I fidgeted with my hands in my lap, trying to piece together the words in my mind. "I, uh, I'll be leaving for Jaursen tomorrow. It's for the job I told you about." 

"Tomorrow?" The disappointment in her voice made me flinch. 

I nodded. 

She sighed before placing her hands on top of mine. "You don't want to do this, do you?" 

The worried expression on her face made me shake my head immediately. "I do. I just didn't know how to tell you." 

When eyebrows stayed furrowed, I forced a smile on my face. "I'm just nervous and that's normal. I'll leave early tomorrow morning." 

When she still didn't respond, I chuckled. "Glad I didn't really get the stuff out of the car or I'd have to put it all back again." 

"I'm fine. I'll miss you a lot though." I hugged her, closing my eyes. "Take care of yourself, okay? I'll try to visit whenever possible. And please keep your phone close." 

Another sigh escaped her before she finally hugged me back. "You'll be driving all the way there?" 

"I'll stop by the apartment. There's still some stuff left to do before meeting Tay there." 

She hummed and rubbed her hand on my back. "All the best. Come back anytime you want. Even if it doesn't work out we can figure something else out." 

I smiled for real this time. "Okay." 

"Have you told Nicolas? Is he okay?" She asked before letting go. 

My smile faltered. Avoiding her gaze, I nodded. 

She waited for a few moments before asking again. "Did you two have a fight?" 

"No. We didn't. He- we are okay." My heart pounded in my chest and I prayed that she wouldn't ask anymore questions about it. 

I hadn't seen him since the night I stayed over and despite Marco's constant assurance, I knew his state hadn't gotten any better. Just talking about him made me want to defy Marco and try to see him just once before leaving. 

"If there's anything you can tell me." Her tender words threatened to weaken my resolve. 

"We really are okay. Don't worry." The repeated forced smile seemed to have done its job and grandma finally nodded. 

She stood up and ruffled my hair. "Wake me up before you go. I'll make you breakfast." 

"Okay. Thanks." Another smile before she finally made it to her room. 

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