Knickers

A Walking Boner

Maya comes over as soon as I call, panicked into a tizzy over her newest suitor and thankful for a distraction.
She brings a pizza and a bottle of tequila with her, exploding through my door with a long outpour of complaints. We sit together on the floor, eating and working through every detail of her text interactions with the new girl, Layla.
"I don't know how to not flirt," she tells me. "She wants to talk about books and movies and I'm struggling to be decent through it all. It's like I'm on autopilot. How do I switch it off?"
"Do you know how to have friends?" I ask her, rolling my eyes. "You and I talk about stuff."
"Yes, but I might have sex with this girl," she says. "It's different."
"Maybe this is good for you. It will force you to be a human being for once and not just a walking boner. She's got feelings, you know."
"That's the whole problem," Maya whines, flopping backward against the bed.
"Cut her loose, then. Don't entertain her if you want different things."
She groans. "But I like her, Marley. More than I've liked anyone in forever."
"Ugh, gross."
"Shut up, Juliet," she says, throwing her pizza crust at me. "Where's Romeo?"
The crust lands in my lap. I pick it up and chew on it distractedly.
"In the studio, probably. He left a few hours ago."
"He was here? Did you fuck?"
"No, Maya. Stop asking."
She squints distrustfully at me, crossing her legs beneath her. "What did happen?"
"I turned him down," I whisper, shrinking into a shameful ball at the memory. "What if he thinks it's, like, a hookup?"
"But in reality you're being consumed by undying adoration and yearning?" She pauses. "God, ew."
"No matter what happens, I just can't spit it out," I say. "It was a whole thing. Some guys picked a fight with Dom and I chased them off. We were here, and the whole place was quiet and pink, and he kissed me and tried to undress me and I stopped him."
Maya's eyebrows furrow. "Why on earth would you do that? Cause you're too big a wuss to tell him how you feel?"
"Are you saying that you could do it if you were me? That's just not me. I can't be vulnerable the way he can." I steal a glance up at Maya, watching me disappointedly and selecting another slice of pizza. "Maya. I...have a big like for you."
This earns me an eyeroll. "You love me. Idiot."
"I do, I know I do. Why can't I just say it?"
"Because you're a sucker with more feelings than you know what to do with," she tells me, pointing at me with the bitten end of her slice. "I don't know the guy too well, but he seems really, really sweet. He wouldn't scrape you off for being honest."
I huff at her truthfulness. "What if I wreck it all?"
"Probably better than not knowing, right?" She pauses, mid bite. "Plus if you're having dates and sharing beds and he kisses you, he must know it's more than a hookup."
"You said it was stupid to assume," I say, eyeballing the nearby bottle of tequila but restraining the destructive urge. "Did you assume Layla wanted to sleep with you, or did she tell you?"
"I didn't assume shit," she says, her mouth full. "She was all over me, holding my hand and shit."
"Dom and I hold hands," I point out.
"Then you're even denser than I thought."
"Well, he's just touchy-feely, you know. Maybe Layla is the same way."
"What, she pours her heart out into a poem and then just starts flirting with the first girl she sees with a lesbian necklace? Come on, Marley. She told me she was a virgin and everything."
I shrug. "Maybe that means back off. Maybe she's a devout Christian."
"We're going to see Rocky Horror tonight," she tells me. "I don't think so."
"Shit, does that mean you can't come with me later? Dom invited me to a bar with what's-his-face. Machine Gun Boy."
"Kelly, you boomer. Jesus fuck. What time is the thing?"
"Ten. It's somewhere in Hollywood."
"I'll hang out for a minute, but I'm meeting Layla at the Nuart before midnight."
"Invite her to the bar. Please don't let me go alone."
Maya purses her lips, squinting doubtfully at me. "You're buying all my drinks?"
"All of them."
"And you're sure you're fine to go to a bar after what happened?"
"What? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I wave my hand dismissively. "Please come."
"Fine. Let me text Layla the address."