natasha romanoff oneshots

family breakfast

tony peeks his head into natasha's room at three in the morning. it's dark, but he knows she's up. "hey, red!"

natasha pokes her head up from her laptop. her red hair is coming out of its braid, and there are bags under her eyes. "yeah?"

tony isn't looking any better- his hair is sticking out in places, and the top of his shirt is unbuttoned so you can see his arc reactor. "wanna help me make breakfast?"

"stark, i eat peanut butter for breakfast, lunch and dinner. ask barnes, he eats breakfast for every meal."

"come on, nat!"

she squints at the line of code across her screen. "fine," she mutters. "you have insurance on your kitchen, right?"

when steve wakes up, two hours later, natasha and tony are having a whisper-argument in the kitchen.

"no, cereal is not a soup," natasha whisper-yells.

"yes it is," tony argues. "it has-"

natasha hears steve's footsteps. she covers tony's mouth with her hand and puts one finger to her lips. she drags him down, so steve won't be able to see them unless he comes all the way into the kitchen.

"what was that for?" tony hisses, and she punches his shoulder. she points out of the kitchen, where steve is opening the door.

ow, he mouths, but shuts up.

as soon as the door closes behind steve, natasha punches tony again. "it's been two hours! all we've done is try to blend the pulp out of orange juice!"

"you're the one who doesn't like pulp!"

"you're the one who bought extra pulp! you said it made you feel something!"

"it does!"

natasha rolls her eyes. "okay, well, i could be working right now, so-"

"i can make omelettes," tony suggests.

"no, your omelettes suck. pancakes should be easy to make, right?"

he shrugs. "only one way to find out."

a genius, and a world class spy. they should be able to make breakfast for their friends, right?

wrong.

steve finds them first. natasha is on top of the fridge, holding the bowl of batter away from tony. tony's waving two eggs around, trying to reach her.

"what's going on?" steve asks, one eyebrow raised.

"tony thinks you're supposed to put eggs in pancakes!" natasha says loudly. she seems like she's having fun- and steve knows that doesn't happen often.

"why don't you each make a batch, and the others can taste test," he suggests, and tony smirks.

"or, natasha could forfeit now, because she knows i'm the better cook?"

"yeah right!" she says, nimbly climbing down. "i'll win for sure."

steve leaves to have a shower, and clint finds them next. he climbs out of a vent to see tony flip one of his pancakes onto the ceiling. natasha laughs and adds another to her neat stack. he smiles, knowing this is a rare moment for the both of them. he tries to back away silently, but trips over a blender. he lands with his ass in a puddle of orange juice, and natasha laughs again.

sam's up next- he's having a rest day, but he's never been great at sleeping in. natasha offers him a pancake, but thinking it's a prank, he politely declines. she just sticks her tongue out at him and turns back to the oven.

"spread the word," tony says. "we're having a bake-off, so get everyone in the dining room in ten minutes."

"it's still early," sam points out.

natasha just shrugs, "early bird gets the worm."

so everyone is in the dining room, albeit reluctantly. until tony climbs up onto the table and taps a spoon to a glass. "ladies and gentlemen, today agent romanoff and i have both made pancakes," he says seriously. "and you're the judges."

natasha brings out plates with her pancakes on them, and everyone takes a couple. tony heads back into the kitchen, explaining that if he puts his pancakes in the oven, they'll still be warm when it's his turn.

a minute later, everyone hears him yell. they argue for a moment, and then send wanda out as a tribute. she sneaks into the kitchen to see tony trying to smother flames. flames that are burning his pancakes.

hiding her giggles, she sneaks back over to the other avengers. "come see," she whispers, smiling.

so they follow her. everyone's laughing, but natasha is quiet.

"what's wrong?" steve asks.

"i win," she says, grinning. "i win! eat shit, stark!"