Destiny is a Funny Thing (Zutara)

Memory

Katara

I have decided I will not allow Azula to get a reaction from me again. I realized death wasn't what I feared. If it was, I would not be in the middle of fire nation territory. I was scared of failure so soon. But if I fail now I will have failed everyone. So, I will let her do whatever she wants and I won't give her the satisfaction to see my tears. Once Azula saw I would do as I was asked, she eased her torture. She would ask absurd tasks for me, just to see how I would respond to her saying I should inspect each piece of jewelry 20 times. But I would just nod. I hardly saw Zuko. He asked everyone to leave him alone most times. After our first encounter I thought it would be best to steer clear. His piercing eyes sent a shiver down my spine. Not in the way Azula's glare intimidated me. Instead, there was a turmoil he seemed to keep sloppily hidden. If he didn't want help, more time for me. As for what I did in my free time, it mostly consisted of laying in my barren room, daydreaming of the snow on my cheeks, and the power the waves offered me. Whenever I passed the royal family garden and saw the pond, a part of me wanted to jump in, to combat the relentless sun seemingly sucking away any power or joy I once had. It was my second night here and I couldn't take being in my room any longer. I had helped Azula to bed, brushed her hair until my hands cramped and she dozed off to sleep. Azula was such a confident woman that in sleep she rests soundly, with no fear. I was sore from how much I clenched in fear in my sleep, and my mind ached. I needed a way to get into the meetings Zuko and Azula slips off to in the late mornings. 

But for now, I decided a walk was in order. I was drawn to the garden again. I walked outside and couldn't help but smile at the moon. "Oh how I have missed you." I breathed. It seemed to coat my body in a silky embrace. I already felt more awake. My joints revived and I felt a lot better. I lifted my hand into the air, almost trying to grasp at the moon, hoping it could give me advice or strength, but it just looked back at me, offering only silence and some comfort. 

"Couldn't sleep?" I jolted at the sound of another voice. It was Zuko. How did I not see him before? He was laying on the grass, his fingers outstretched and his eyes side-eyeing at me. Did he hear me speak to the moon? Could he figure out I was a water bender from that?

 "Don't be silly." I thought to myself. 

"I am so sorry to bother you, Prince Zuko." I bowed my head stepping away to leave. Zuko flashed a grimace 

"I don't believe you. You're not who you say you are" My mouth fell agape. Could he know? 

"W-What?" I muttered, my fists clenched. I looked over at the pond. I felt the still pond gain the ability of movement with my hands. I could attack if I needed to. I prepared with an inhale. I was shocked to see Zuko look at me with a sly smile. 

"You act timid around Azula and me, I can see it. But why do your eyes reveal something completely different? And just before I spoke you were concise and firm in your movements. You aren't afraid. You also are a bad actor, so why are you acting afraid?" Zuko stated. I felt my face get hot. He couldn't get all that from just two encounters. He could be trying to get a reaction out of me like Azula. The difference is he was more successful. 

"I am not acting like anything. I just am being polite and acting how a servant should treat royalty. Would you rather I talk back to your sister and get killed?... Prince Zuko?" I tried to maintain formality but my face already gave me away. To my surprise, Zuko smiled and even let out a small chuckle.

"Right. Well I guarantee my sister knows you are brighter than you lead on. My warning is to not treat her as if she is stupid. She is not." I looked to respond back but I found my head was full of unabashed anger. 

"You are full of assumptions," I said through my teeth, trying to maintain what little composure Prince Zuko seemed to think I had. Zuko finally sat up, his smile disappeared. 

"Talking back to royalty now? How quickly you drop your supposed politeness." I held my breath. I could waste every opportunity the water tribe gave me in just a few nights. 

Before I could say anything else the small smile came back onto Zuko's face and he lied back down. "I get it. Keeping a job here is near impossible with a family like ours. But passion like yours does not fare well here. Maybe find a different profession." 

"Maybe its what this palace needs. No one seems to hold onto a job here except maybe Okuye. Maybe I can stay because I want it that much more." I responded curtly, gaining some of my composure back with each word. I knew now Zuko was not going to fire me. His tone was up in the air, informal, not final. He offered me chance to leave, but he didn't know there was no choice for me. 

"Hmm. Weird thing to want but it's your choice." He finally stated. All that was left was silence between us. I stood several feet away from him, watching him as he looked up at the sky. "What's your name by the way?" Katara almost slipped from my mouth "On Ji" I replied. Zuko said nothing, only nodding. After a few more moments of silence, I bowed. "Goodnight Prince Zuko." 

"Hey, On Ji. If you can't sleep in the future I guess I can tolerate your presence here. This palace can be suffocating for everyone."  Zuko muttered, not looking at me but still looking up at the sky intently. I nodded and headed back into my room, with no intention to visit Zuko at night again. Zuko already seems to think I am hiding things. He called me out on just two mere interactions. If I spend more time with him, he could figure out enough to ruin everything.