Naughty Beans

Bean There, Done That

"Millicent, you know what?" Lena asked through the FaceTime call, resting her hand on her pale cheek and smirking expectantly at her,

"What?", she replied through a mouth full of lightly-cooked bacon, "Am I making you hungry?"

"With that awful meal? No, I'm hungry because I haven't eaten all day- too busy obsessing over the absolute KING that is Barry Byles. I reckon I should make some beans, what do you think?"

"What kind of beans?" Millicent asked, still chewing her crude bacon,

"Baked beans, idiot. Branston baked beans."

Millicent's food dropped onto her plate as her mouth fell open in astounded horror: 

"No! Branston beans...they're naughty beans. Why would you buy Branston beans? Everyone knows that you only buy Heinz beans. Oh my God." 

"I just want to try  them!"

It was at this point that Millicent and Lena both received a message from a Snapchat group chat that they were both a part of. It was from their friend Camden: he had just won a competition with his favourite band, BABBA, for a can of Heinz beans. He was overjoyed. Shortly after, Ken, also in the groupchat, replied, saying 'Luckily they aren't Branston beans AHAHAHAH IMAGINE'. This resonated with Lena quite a bit, but still, she persisted with the cooking of the 'Naughty Beans'.

She began by placing a saucepan over the burning hob and then began to pour the beans from the can into it. 

By this point, Millicent had ended the call, betrayed at Lena's use of the Branston product in question. Lena was alone, in the kitchen, with the beans. Gradually, a fetid smell began to fill the air, and Lena noticed the beans slowly rising in their pan. Gagging profusely, she turned off the gas. 

The beans continued to rise. The smell continued to grow.

Eventually, the beans began to overflow the container they were in, each second in which they were in contact with air allowed them to multiply and grow further. Leah turned to run from the kitchen in pure terror, but as she reached the door, the scent took hold of her, and blurry images of the world slowly faded to black.

As Lena, out cold, lay unconscious on the icy kitchen floor, the beans began to congregate around her and drown her body in their sauces. The beans filled her mouth and crawled down her throat to be digested.