Naughty Beans

The Beans Will Stalk You.

Millicent and Lena's plot could never work if they weren't prepared. That meant that they would need to hurry to get the biggest supply of beans that they could possibly manage at once. There was only one place to do this: Schmesco- everybody's favourite supermarket (especially Lena and Millicent's, seeing as though they stocked Branston beans).

Millicent grabbed her bag (not before stealing one of Lena's brilliant polaroids of a Branston can from her bedroom wall and stuffing it inside) and shouted for Lena, who had not yet finished the drink of Branston bean juice that she had poured out into a glass so that she could admire the thick oozing liquid as it sailed into her mouth. She quickly downed the rest of her drink and hurried down the stairs with her good friend, who was desperately awaiting her arrival,

"Come ON, I want to get back as soon as possible- I miss the taste of them already!" Millicent complained through a genuine manner of upset,

"Don't you worry," Lena smiled at her friend sweetly and innocently licked her lips, "take comfort in the knowledge that when we return we will be one great step closer to His arrival."

Both girls looked at each other with an uncontainable giddiness about them before swinging the door open, running through it and slamming it shut behind them. Off to Schmesco.

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As they neared the sliding doors of the supermarket, their pace quickened steadily until they were in the bean aisle. As they passed, they both gagged at the sight and potent stench of the Heinz beans that they once thought to be nice. In protest, Millicent took one from the shelf, covering her hand with her sleeve so as not to contaminate her hand with their touch, and flung it across the store. A great thud sounded from the vegetable aisle as Millicent and Lena guffawed loudly. They then hurried themselves past the dirty Heinz and eventually reached an entire shelf of Branston beans,

"4 for £2?! Boy oh boy are we getting a bargain tonight, Lena," Millicent said as she swept a great deal of cans from the shelf into her cart, "I've litro never been filled with so much glee in my entire life... except for when I got that A in Childcare."

They emptied the shelves entirely, leaving a small spider who had made his living behind the untouched beans scuttering around the shelf,

"AHHH A SPIDER!" Millicent practically screamed, attracting the unwanted attention of pretty much everyone else in the store, "Anyways, Lena let's get to the checkout immediately. I want these gosh-darn beans."

As they began to make their way down the linoleum floors with their carts filled with Branston's beans, a blondish, diabetic-looking boy peeked his head round the corner of the aisle, made direct eye-contact with Millicent and started to do the Brenegade, to which she responded by doing the same. After reviewing this odd interaction for quite some time, Lena broke the dead silence,

"Ken! Hi! Guess what we have!",

"A...suspiciously unusual amount of baked beans..." he said, doubtfully looking both bean-carts up and down, "Why...do you have so many...? Like...what is the need?"

"We can show you!" Millicent cried, elated, "We could do with an extra hand!",

"You know what, this sounds like something I can get behind- Branston or not, I'm sure it's FINE." Ken said, surprisingly quickly seeing as though he has just seen two of his closest friends with cart-fulls of Branston beans of which they had formerly admitted to having a passionate hatred for.

"Brilliant." Lena and Millicent said in unison, smiling gratefully at him.

The three walked to the checkout counter to an old-ish woman with a short white pixie cut and the beginnings of wrinkles that were starting to carve out her face. The cashier furrowed her brow,

"You..err, know we have Heinz beans here right?" 

"Yes." Lena gave the woman a dastardly look and, terrified, she got to work on scanning the items without another word uttered.