Ecstasy

5. He's Intoxicated by Drugs

Foreword:

Guys do check out that song I added as it will surely give you feels. Now I wasn't necessarily supposed to put up an English song for a chapter that had its setting in the USA because I believe that art itself is universal and needs no language to be expressed. Also, this song I believe suits best to the mental state of Ethan. *winks*. So enjoy.

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~Ethan~

L.A, California

Burnt out of yesterday's events, I threw myself onto the bed diving into the fluffy sheets. Yet due a reason unbeknownst to me, I couldn't really drown in my sleep. My calves were fatigued however my eyes were wide awake. Something inside me was burning, pricking at my heart and slicing through it, I recognized it was the very feeling I encountered when I lost her. I jerked myself to sit up, panting for breath- I simply hated when my past memories came and haunted me like demons. So before any other such thought could grip me, I dashed towards the other end of my room where wall length mirror cabinets were. I slid the mirror to reveal my 'drug stock' which was more like a warehouse of all sorts of hallucinogenic drugs, alcohol bottles, amphetamine injections and much more. I ran a finger on top of each variety: moving from LSD to dimitri, and then to cocaine, ICE, and weed when impulsively I laid my hands on the drug that suited best to my personality- the drug called ecstacy.

Ecstacy was by far my most treasured drug that perfectly tailored my mood; it was a hallucinogen and a stimulant at the same time, meant to enhance the mood giving pleasure and a warm cherished sensation that I craved for. This little baby helped me all through my sickening life, making me have delusions or trips to unknown lands: where I had wings; where I had happiness; where my life was anything but dark; away from this deadly world; away from toxic people. I held the sachet bearing those lovely pills in my hand, smilingly placed one on my tongue and swallowed while to heighten the effects of drug, I decided to go with some alcohol and regular Dunhill Farsi.

With a soft violin tune playing on my phone, I reclined on the couch, drank some and then smoked one cigarette after another. Banging my head backwards, I could see dense cloud of white smoke emerging from my nostrils and disappearing into nothingness. Then I closed my eyes and felt the bitter strong taste of tobacco itching deep in my throat; it was a notion that something was burning inside me- or should I say that someone was burning inside me. I fancied my own soul corresponding to and mixing up with the smoke, in fact the smoke engulfing my soul and me in itself. Afterall, all I witnessed in my life was smoke- either cigarette smoke or gunsmoke. 

I didn't ask for this life neither did I want to have my hands soaked up with the blood of innocents. Initially, I killed the sinless because I was influenced or ordered to but now I snatched lives because I wanted to dominate and have my influence on others. However, in both the scenarios, the guilt afterwards sinks me in. Every night, I heard screams: screams of the righteous people whom I ended brutally; screams of innocent children spectating the murder scene helplessly; screams of lovers as they parted with their beloved; screams of orphans and the screams of old. Anyhow the most perplexing of all the screams was the scream I overheard in New York eight years ago- the screams that pierced my ears and shattered my soul, however, I did my best to avoid that disturbing memory from holding me captive once more. As they say, some issues better be kept under the mat.

 An hour or so must have passed when I lost the count of my cigarettes and got myself 'high', so high that I unknowingly dropped the ash on my own chest and blacked out.

I crashed into a land that somewhat resembled New York City and saw hypnotic images of deformed animals and people, afterwards I cast my mind back to year 2012: the year of great revolutions; the year Queen Elizabeth II commemorated her Diamond Jubilee; the year Obama re-won elections; the year prophesied to have an Apocalypse- though the world didn't witness that overrated doomsday yet I did. I saw it all. I heard the screams. I went through the pain. I could see her body drenched in fresh blood. I looked her dead body in the eye, her eyes pleading me. I saw the the SWAT officers dragging her corpse mercilessly, leaving a trail of blood behind. I recall my 17 years old innocent self crawling out from under the bed wailing her name. I could still feel resting my hands in the pool of her warm, scarlet coloured blood and painting my face with it only to feel her warmth for the last time. I saw the end.

 All my life I yearned to be with her and just when I thought that I had won her and our life would become that megatopia I dreamed, they snatched her from me, leaving me helpless, friendless, penniless, and at the mercy of this bloodthirsty, unsparing world. Impregnated with sorrow, I cried the life out of me. I cried and cried till I had no tears left in my eyes. There was no one to look up to and I surely couldn't go back to where I was abused and inhumanely treated. Inevitably, I had lost the purpose of life and my future as well, hence I opted to live for revenge.

*****

''Sir...umph...sir,''

 Awoke by the feathery touches at my biceps, I flickered my eyes open to be greeted by a blurry vision of an unknown young man with a strongly built body slightly leaning over me. I abruptly dragged myself up from my lying position to fetch a gun but failed in the attempt due to lightheadedness from last night, so I ended up supporting my weight on my elbows in order to confront that unbidden stranger. 

''Um...sir, sorry to step into your place like this. I guess you don't know me, I'm Charles.'' he stuttered, nervousness filling each word. At my insistent questioning look, he spoke up again, this time more confident than before, '' I was sent here by Cameron...ah, you asked for a technical assistant. Actually he asked me to be here by 12 p.m. I had been waiting in the lobby outside for two hours...and then,'' he paused with a rather shameful look,'' And then I was just checking the door knob. To my surprise, the door wasn't locked...ah so I stepped in. But don't get me wrong, I was about to leave when I suddenly noticed heavy smoke smell in the room, as I searched out I found you on the couch, intoxicated, with ash all over your chest and lit cigarettes on the carpet which could've potentially caused a fire...um... so I just cleared that mess. I hope you don't mind.''

A sigh of relief washed over me, never in a millennia did I expect any act of concern from the people around me, let alone a stranger. Yet I liked his sympathy as it gave me a queer sense of validation- a forgotten sense that I also deserved to live and not just be burnt up.

''Cameron was a family friend of mine, he instructed me that I was supposed to do the paperwork for your business.'' he added, speaking the last word in a rather secretive manner as if to indicate that he already knew of my business.

'' Did Cam inform you of his post here?'' he inquired. I remained nonchalant yet deep down the mention of his name brought back his memories, his loyalty, and the laughter he had just the second before I shot him. I felt sick to my stomach for taking away life of  the person who once took a bullet for me, though he was fortunate enough that the bullet only hit him in the arm and thus he survived. Never once did I doubt his fidelity and now that he was gone, I craved for a subordinate, even if that subordinate turned out to be half as loyal as Cameron. Moreover, something in the eyes of this new guy, Charles, made me trust him, plus, he had strength and youth gushing out from his strongly built body which would prove very handy in our work, so I decided to give him a chance.

''Yes, each and every thing.''

''Well then, you know that in our work rivalries are the second most abundant things we get after oxygen,huh. And I'm sorry that your friend Cam died last night in one of those rivalries,'' I said while rising up on my feet to face him, '' If he had been here, he would've locked the door so that people like you didn't get to sneak into my personal space.''

'' I'm sorry sir.''

'' You see, he sacrificed his life for me last night, such a loyal man.''

'' He was a jewel.''

'' Well I suppose you may have the potency to be that jewel. If only you are willing to risk your life like him.''

''S..Sure sir.''

'' You know how to use a pistol?''

''Aye Aye sir! I have worked with a regular handgun.''

'' Then welcome as my personal secretary, I'll make you take the Oath of Omerta soon. And yes, from now on the adjacent penthouse, where Cam used to live, is now yours. Move in right now.''

'' I'm privileged sir.'' 

'' But be careful, cause all I want is fidelity. I see your one bad move and I'll be the first to hang you from this very building. Understood.''

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