Human Deceit and Remus ask thingy!

College Pranks

Yo sorry for dropping of the face of the earth. I wrote this awhile ago but forgot to post it here, sorry!

Also a small change to the Au: Dee isn't a lawyer. It didn't make sense with the whole living off the grid thing. He does have a degree and went to school for it tho

Just a clarification incase some people were confused last chapter: Dee's ex didn't give him the scar, feel free to put down the torch and pitchfork

(Written Pre-Pof, so Janus is still being called Dee.)

"It's been awhile. Sorry about that, not a lot of motivation." Dee said when the camera turned on. Remus waved at the camera. "Hi!"

magic_but_its_green

Oh geez, I'm sorry for bringing it up Dee— Imma change the topic to something lighter now— what's the story about that guy you both pranked? And what does that have to do with liquid ass—??

"It's fine, really." Dee said. "Oh, it's one of my greatest accomplishments!" Remus said dramatically. "Must not have lots of accomplishments." Dee joked. "Oh, shush." Remus said elbowing him in the side.

"It happened in college during a Saturday night." Remus began.

Yo, I'm doing a thing now where when someone tells a story it'll be an actual fic. (Does that make sense?) Enjoy the ficlet!

Dee was curled up in a ball on the couch. Next to him on a small table was an open bottle of some cheap wine. He felt someone flop onto the couch next to him. "Hey, Double Dee!" He greeted. Dee put his head in his arms and mumbled. "Go away, Ree."

"Man, you're still upset about that?" Remus said, throwing an arm over the smaller man's shoulder. Dee grumbled. "It was like.....a week ago? I really need to keep track of time more..." Remus said. "Just go away, you smell like ass." Dee grumbled again.

Remus moved to the other side of the old couch. "Look, I'm not good at comfort or hygiene." He said. The two of them sat in uncomfortable silence for a while, until Remus shot up. "Wait! I got an idea!"

He exclaimed. Dee looked up with a "Hm?" Remus got up and started pacing around their small dorm room. He rambled out loud about some plan that made no sense and was questionably legal. After Dee expressed his confusion Remus simply said. "All you have to do is follow my lead. And...well.....do ya got money for same day shipping?"

It was Sunday night, around two in the morning. Remus and Dee quietly made their way to the man's dorm. Remus knew his roommate from a couple college parties. The man's roommate complained to Remus many times about how his roommate would "Stay out partying somewhere off campus then come home at five in the morning and wake me up!"

So the two knew that they were safe for a couple hours. And if the roommate caught them he'd probably let them go considering how much he hated his roommate. Dee started picking the lock to the dorm while Remus blocked the view of security cameras.

After shutting the door, Dee turned on a flashlight while Remus dug through his bag. Remus started settling up an elaborate trap while Dee held up the light. "Are you sure this will work? What does it even do???" Dee whispered. "It will, trust me!" Remus whispered-shouted at the other.

Remus set up the last bit of the trap then the two of them booked it. A bit after five am there was plenty of screaming. The next day plenty of people on campus talked about someone smelling god awful.

ShelfPerson

Just wanna say, you dudes are lovely!

(Please note, dear Author, that while I do think Remus and Deceit are lovely, they are fictional, and the truly lovely one is you. Remember that.)

Uno reverses card buddy. I'm lovely and so are you.

And you reader <3

Also, for the first time in this ask books history.......

*Drumrolllllll*

An ask from Wattpad!

Lamslover52

Hey Dee, do you hiss when you talk?

"Do I hiss? Definitely, I'm thirteen snakes in a beanie." Dee said blankly.

"Ya that's bullshit."

"No it's not, watch. Hisssssss."

"....."

"Ok, I don't hiss but I had a lisp when I was younger so that counts."

LightShadowling

Awwwwww, poor Dee...

Alright, hypothetical situation time. Say you witnessed someone robbing a bank. And you thought to yourself, 'This is making my job way too easy. All I have to do is take the money from this person and I'll keep my hands clean.' But as the robber was leaving the bank, you realized that it's your closest friend/family member (besides yourselves of course). So, do you still take the money from that person, or not betray their trust?

"Jeez, how bad would Ro's acting career have to go for him to do that." Remus said.

"Well I'd obviously take some of it. Then probably say something like "Aren't I the family disap-" Remus was about to say something but cut himself off. "Criminal! I meant criminal." He chuckled.

"I...don't have any friends besides Ree. Or...even family." Dee said, with a shrug.

LightShadowling

Okay, reading over this and how AMAZING it is and seeing that fewer people have commented this time around, I would like to ask another question.

So, there is this fandom I've been getting into lately, it's called Sanders Sides. I was just wondering, have either of you two ever heard of it? Cause I was just thinking that it's a total coincidence that Remus just happens to have the same name as one of the most recent characters in it. Like, WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

Why you cheeky little- also I'll answer this one cause Dee and Ree's answers would just be "lol, no"

Sanders Sides and Thomas do exist in this AU but the AU doesn't take place in Florida. So he isn't important to the story. Two sides watch it and heccing love that they share names with characters. (Won't say who tho.)