It's okay.

I'm ready for New Years!

   "Ok so we need bottles, bottles, and more bottles!"
   Ron starts calling up friends and friends of friends and we're getting everything ready for the New Year. I end up meeting Kevin, he's another best friend of his who is also gay and very full of energy. "HEY ANGEL! NICE TO MEET YOU!" Kevin says as he pulls in the bottles "We got bottles bruh!". I was so excited and the thing about gay friends is you can love them or you can hate them. He walked into the room with the right introduction so I didn't have a no bad feelings. Then came in Anna, "Hi Angel, so good to see you two! My favorite!", she says as she comes in for hugs. I still carry that memory of her that night but I didn't let it fuck up anything because of course I still had no clue what else went down. We sat down and chilled, Ron fixed us up some cups. We started drinking when the door bell rang. In came this beautiful girl who I never really heard about. Her name was Cassie. I soon later found out that this woman has been through an abusive relationship with a man who was in jail. She was living with family and had a cute baby boy who wasn't even 1 year old yet. This woman has been grinding for her child and hopping from job to job with the worst of luck. When she couldn't make ends meet one way, she'd find another. Much of her money in the past was made from ads she'd post of herself online. This woman would sell herself to men, pick out an apartment the night she would set up her ad. Ron would stay look out in the parking lot to make sure nothing out of the ordinary would happen. He would see her deal from completely disgusting looking men to one point Ron saw his mom's date. This woman has been through shit. She brings in weed and we roll up outside. We're talking about from things about love to something they all seemed to relate too. It was someone named Rose. They were all friends with her except for Ron. That was his cousin. They all talked to me more about her. She seemed like an amazing girl who lost her life because of stupid people. Thus I hear more tragic stories of drunk drivers. We paid our respects and continue on with the night. "Ron you're taking a couple lines with me right?" Cassie says. "Yeah get them ready upstairs." Ron responds under his breath. "What the fuck is she talking about Ron?" I ask him. "You only told me about pills and now i'm hearing this." I say. "You don't understand Angel!" he says. I'm in complete reckless mode, I'm drunk and high and overall angry but I tell myself i'm the stupid one. "Ok let's go Cassie, get them ready!" I say. I follow them upstairs and all I can hear is Ron telling me that it's not what I think it is. He tells me its best to stay downstairs and that i'm out of my mind but I don't think I am. He's doing it too and maybe if this is wrong then let me be a prime example. I want him to look at me for the rest of the night and see what he wants to bring to the table in our life. Cassie ends up lining up three lines for the each of us. I snort away when it came to me and it burned like hell. Once we came downstairs we get ready for the New Year and Ron kisses me as we scream "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!".
I take a seat and I feel myself slowly drift off, like I was falling asleep sort of. There was just one problem, my eyes were open. I seen everything going on in the room and my mind is having a dream at work. I am at my coffee shop pulling myself some espresso. I yell out "THREE SHOTS OF ESP-" and Ron comes up to me and says "Angel? Just relax ok?". I lay back and without falling asleep I just slowly watch the sun rise. Then while everybody is just lying around like dead bodies I hear Ron's mother come out of her room. "Oh my.. happy new years guys!" as she walks past us to the garage and off she went. Here we were, hours.
    We head out to breakfast and I feel like i'm in a dream. It's like I haven't woken up only I haven't fallen asleep. Kevin starts talking, "I really like the omelettes from this place, Angel you and me are big boys so trust me. This is about to be HEAVEN!" We walk into this diner type restaurant and I just feel like trash. We're all a complete mess and for some odd reason, i'm not hungry. I just tell Ron that i'll share with him and when the food arrived I barely picked off his plate. We soon left and Kevin dropped me and Ron off at his house. Ron tells me, "Angel what we did last night wasn't coke.". "What do you mean?" I ask. "I was trying to tell you that it's crystal, that shit is more serious babe." I was shocked and just remembering that whole night I slowly began to feel what went down. I was angry that he never told me about doing crystal with her. He told me it's because of his loss, it's not something you just easily cope with. He didn't lose a cousin, he lost his best friend. The only person who always accepted him for who he was has always been Rose and that I'll never understand. I told him I could never live with the idea that slowly killing himself will be his only way of coping with his problems. I told him I loved him and that I know it's something hard to stop. "I saw how you were that night, it scared me. I didn't like it." he said. "So why put me through that situation with you. I care about you and I can't keep letting you do this." I told him. I made him stop cold turkey that day and always made him remember that there is other ways to cope with it because he has me by his side now so he's not alone.