Street Smart

Chapter 134: Sam

I sat alone in my room, listening the silence and questioning my loud mouth. My bed was too comfortable of a pleasure than what I thought I deserved, so I was sitting in a chair by the window. My computer screen glared at me, shining my online school portal of one bad grade after the other. My pride was trying to let itself shine as there were a couple good grade assignments, and my overall art grade was great, but none of that stuff really mattered. The roar of the waves crashing on the beach outside my window was hypnotizing and calming. The laughter of teenagers filtered through the air. I recognized some of the voice, but tried not to focus on them. I caught sight of a few silhouettes I recognized in the distance as the sun set. Half girls, with thin bodies and long hair. The others were guys, some skin, some average, some with muscles. They all seemed happy by the way their bodies moved carelessly. There was only one I was dead sure on. And as they would walk closer and closer, they'd soon no longer be silhouettes. A knock on my door startled the silence.

    "Oh thank goodness your room is neater than some of the others," Mr. Hamilton entered. Just seeing a relative of TJ made my arms sting. And knowing that Mr. Hamilton never mentioned his son in front of me, while also knowing that he must know how TJ treated me, made me question everything about the man I thought he was.

    "Sam, I can't justify nor do I want to justify what happened earlier this afternoon, but, for what it's worth, he'll be out of here in the morning. By no means do I condone my son to do these things...I should also apologize," he spoke professional taking larger steps into my room. I got scared for a second that he might turn into a monster like TJ, but I tried to forget about that because it was irrational. TJ was drunk, Mr. Hamilton isn't.

    "I've let my compassion for you get in the way of why we are here, in Hawaii, in the first place. Sam, I've seen you develop so much in this month or so...I just don't want to see you fail, that's why I an doing this. That is why I kept you in today. And I know, maybe I pushed the limits too far. I apologize. I just want you to know that I do this because I believe in you — not because I want to see you miserable. I'm sorry for taking away from this trip for you, because you're supposed to be here playing basketball, you deserve it the most."

    As he spoke, I could feel it. The power of one particular emotions spreading through my veins like a rampant pulse. Unstoppable. Uncontrollable. Captivating every sense in my body. Taking over my wiring system. Reigning power.

Fear.

    Not fear of the unknown. I know that. Not fear of the forces above me. I know enough of them. Not fear of the afterlife. I'm not concerned with that. Not fear of being invisible. I can be seen to those that matter.

    Fear that I was alone. Alone in the battle. Fear that I was officially the lone man standing among the bodies of hundreds of brave men and women, each with striving attempts at success and all with triumph failures. Alone with the Queen, whose warped reality has become others. A Queen whose effortless victories shall be infinite. Her most recent plot? To sew a crown on my skull so prestigious and worthy, no being could amount to such qualities.         Alone with the invincible. Alone with my lonesome self. Alone with the knowledge of nothing. Heart not of love, but confusion. Alone with the dagger in my grasp, yet so very far out of reach. With every change to take one last leap at the Dictator and end it for all, but the chance to win.

    "And once again, I've been proven correct."

    They say it isn't so. They say, "just have faith" and all good things will come along. That life will sort it's messes out. They can talk for decades — and they certainly have — and problems will continue to remain problems. My math teacher stood in my room, dumbfounded, trying to figure out what I had said.

    "You've given up. They always do."

    He placed his hands in his kaki pockets and kicked his right foot on the ground, thinking. I just watched as he shook his head pathetically. The truth had been spoken, we both knew that.

    "Sam, I thought you were just like the rest of them, unwilling and unmotivated. When I tried to motivate you, you only seemed to push back. When I tried to help you, you tried less. That didn't stop me because I could tell you were fighting a battle that you didn't want to lose, so I was right there with you. But I think times have changed. In class, maybe you didn't do the homework, but there was always an excuse, and I let it slide as much as I could. You might not take notes because your head was somewhere else — unacceptable, but understandable. And when I tried to get you to open up, you taught me more things that a book could ever, Sam. So, please, don't think I'm giving up on you, because I would never. I've just realized that maybe I'm fighting for someone who doesn't want a war?"