The Stone Knight (gay)✔️

34. Si vis pacem, para bellum.

"I don't want this? What do you mean by that?" asked Dylan, shaking his head, inantly. "I don't get you. I've given you everything you've ever wanted. As my husband, you have the opportunity to officially adopt Noah and Jake. I'm offering you a place in my bed, because frankly, the sex is incredible. You are financially independent and can go wherever you want. So, Lucas, what do you mean by this!"
"I want green eyes," Lucas muttered.
"What?"
"Green eyes," he repeated in a loud tone.
Dylan looked at him in surprise. "I don't understand...?"
"I want the you with green eyes," he roared uncontrollably. "I want the Dylan you were in Cortina and made an effort to really get to know me. The one who fell in love with me and wanted to marry me. When you entrusted me with your deepest secret and your eyes discolored as you came deep inside me."

Three weeks after returning from LA, Lucas had reached his limit. Everything in their relationship had returned to the situation of two years ago. The resurrection of the eternally reliable assistant with the salient detail that he now also served him in bed. Dylan was right when he said the sex was great, but it wasn't enough.
The accident had not caused any collateral damage nor had it restored his memory. Lucas had cried bitter tears when he heard this news. Both of relief and sadness. Without the original cause of Dylan's turnaround, he had no chance of his affection. Dylan's heart and loyalty lay with Natalie. Lucas admired these sincere feelings of Dylan and would never desire the man to forget his wife and the mother of his child, but it left him with an unbridgeable gap.

"Why are you blaming me for things I can't control?" cried Dylan as he watched Lucas take his bag.
"The doctor gave you the all clear this morning, so it's time for me to return to my own life. Ben has had to do long enough without me."
Dylan looked at him angrily. "You're really incredible, you know that?" He spread his arms. "I'm offering you everything I have and yet it's not enough."
Lucas cringed. "Let's just say we're both victims of an unfortunate situation."
With his hands in his hair, Dylan watched helplessly as Lucas first left his bedroom and then the house.

After twenty days of unlimited access, Lucas' rejection came in hard. Much to Lucas's reluctance, Dylan had gone for complete openness. Jake, Noah and his mother were surprised, but also delighted with their marriage. He had also approached Annika personally. His apologies and a story about the latest developments were received coolly, but not unsympathetically. So there was nothing to prevent the continuation of their relationship, or so he thought himself. Lucas was really unfair blaming him on something he had no control over.

"Was that Lucas?" he heard his mother shouting from the conservatory.
After a longing gaze towards his study, he went to the conservatory.
"Did you argue with him? I saw he carried a bag. I hope you're not going to let him go like that?" she fired mercilessly.
Dylan raised his eyebrows irritated. "No, I didn't argue with him. Yes, he had a bag with him. And no, I'm not going to let him go like that," he sniffed angrily. "After this morning's check-up, Lucas thought it was time to get back to his own life," he continued bitterly.
"What do you mean?" asked Madeleine in a surprised way.
Dylan bit his lip. "He doesn't want me."
"Nonsense," Madeleine exclaimed. "Lucas is hurt by your tenacity not to answer his affections."

Dylan exploded. "Love is not forced, Mother. I refuse to be blackmailed into expressing feelings that I don't have."
She stood up and grabbed him painfully by the ear; something she hadn't done since childhood. "Now you have to listen to me, young man. You throw everything on memories you can't access, but forget the deeds you've done. Accept that you once made the choice to get to know Lucas better. Accept that you have chosen to marry him. Forgotten or not, those choices stand!" She let go of his ear and lovingly covered his face. "Trust yourself, Dylan." With a soft kiss on his forehead, she left him alone.

After her confusing words, the silence of his study no longer drew him. Maybe some fresh air would do him good. Upon leaving the front door, he looked briefly at the forest path on his left side and then turned right. He had no explanation for, after hours of wandering the extensive estate, ending up right on the doorstep that he did not want to see. Before he could stop himself, he knocked on the door. His heart was beating in his throat when he heard someone walking to the door.
'How could he ever explain what he came to do? Besides, what did he come to do?'
Jake opened up and disturbed his heated thoughts.
"I hope you're happy, Dad. Honey has finally given up hope."
Dylan looked genuinely surprised in the face of his furious son. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"He accepted the offer from LA this afternoon."
There was a coldness in his son's eyes that he had not seen with him before and it broke his heart. It was a look he knew a little too well and that stared at him in the mirror every morning when he woke up. It was just a screen for hiding the immense pain when losing a loved one.
"I'm terribly sorry, Jacob, that I'm not able to make Honey stay. I know how much you love him."
"Really?!" said the young man with his arms crossed. "How can you say that when you don't even realize how much you love Lucas."

Too bewildered to answer, Dylan stared at his son.
"Just like last time, you're completely panicking in his absence."
"I'm not panicking at all," Dylan countered.
"Oh no?" said Jake confidently. "Lucas is gone and he's not coming back."
The finality of this statement hit Dylan hard. Tears burned in his eyes. "That's not possible," he shook, clinging to his last piece of dignity. "Lucas would never leave Noah behind."
Jake swallowed laboriously at the sight of his father standing clearly on the edge of the abyss. Now it was his thankless task to give the final push.
"According to Mr. Courier's letter, Noah has the right to choose who he wants to live with."
Dylan felt the blood pull out of his face. That was it; his last asset. Now he had nothing left to tie Lucas to himself. The cheeky brat who gave him headaches at every opportunity was free to follow his own path. To spread his wings. Reality hit him hard in the face. Lucas never needed him, it had always been the other way around. "And you?" he asked as hot tears ran down his cheeks.

"I want to see both my parents happy," Jake said, putting his arms around his father. "I love Mom and that will never change, but I also love Honey. He's the one who raised me with a parent's love. A task you shared together. I don't care if you forced him to stay under the pretext of a labor contract. I know this was the only way you could accept his presence. By adopting him as part of the staff, you didn't have to pay attention to your real feelings."
Dylan broke into his son's arms. Together they sank to the ground. He cried like a small child while Jake tenderly stroked through his hair.

"You have the finesse of a sledgehammer, just like your grandmother," Dylan struggled to convey.
"Si vis pacem, para bellum", Jake admitted chivalrously.
Dylan got up and wiped away his tears.
Jake cleared his throat. "I hope you plan to bring him back, but let me tell you this isn't going to be easy."
Dylan got up and wiped away his tears. "I know. That is why I will have to prepare well for our next meeting."
He wondered how on earth he could convince Lucas of the depth of his feelings.