The Stone Knight (gay)✔️

19. Duality.

Lucas regretted his ill-considered words.
Sorry about the scene he had caused in front of Madeleine and Annika. Sorry for the way he had used Bart for his own selfish reasons. But the biggest regret he felt was for his inability to say goodbye to his feelings for Dylan once and for all. The road he was now walking was insufficient to protect his biggest secret and only caused more unrest.
Dylan's constant proximity was wrecking him. It had been wrong to take Bart, but he only reacted to Annika's hurtful presence. Time and time again it turned out that the world of the Stone-Knight men perfectly went on without his presence.
As a responsible adult, he owed the boys a stable relationship. He couldn't offer it under these circumstances. It was time to get things right and leave the nest.

The one he was the first to inform of his new plans was Madeleine. He had deliberately chosen to meet her on neutral ground. The small lunchroom was quite full and many visitors looked at him strangely when he got up when Madeleine arrived.
"Uh oh, this can never be good!" she said as soon as she saw his face. "The last time you looked like that, you told me you wanted to leave the house."
"Then this will sound familiar. I'm leaving, Madeleine and I'm not coming back," he said, not beating about the bush.
Defeated, she slumped on a chair.
"Are we really talking about your quest for independence or is there anything in your relationship with Dylan that I've overlooked?" she asked calmly.
Lucas faded in color.
"I told you about my feelings for Dylan. Can you please leave it at that?" Madeleine squeezed her lips together.
"I assumed that over the years you became attached to him. A kind of love that grows through prolonged exposure." She hesitated. "I was completely wrong, wasn't I?"
It stayed quiet. Lucas refused to look at her.

"Okay," she finally admitted. "I'll put the subject to rest, but I hope you know you can say anything to me. It won't change my love for you."
Lucas nodded. "I know that. It doesn't make it any easier to say, Madeleine. Especially since it goes against everything I've ever said."
Expectantly, she waited for him to speak further.
"Since the death of my parents, I have always clung to someone else. My aunt, Lizzy, Noah. You know how important family is to me."
She nodded.
"Now that I know there's family I can fall back on, it's time to move on. To really stand on your own two feet."
"Running away, you mean."
Lucas was startled by the unfriendly expression on her face.
"If you persist in this withdrawal, you will find nothing but solitude, Lucas." She shook her head despondently. "I didn't do enough when Frederic sank into his depression. I've always blamed myself for that." Determined, she looked at him. "Be warned, Lucas. I'll do everything I can to make you happy. Even if this means protecting you from yourself."

"But?" he sputtered.
"No! But nothing," she interrupted him harshly. "Has it ever occurred to you to actively approach Dylan? To see what the possibilities are between you?"
The hot blush on his cheeks, combined with the guilty gaze, lowered her jaw.
"But why don't I know about that? It doesn't seem like something you forget to say..." Her eyes were shaken open. "Oh my dear boy! Was there anything going on between you during the festival five years ago?"
Lucas hesitated and nodded. "How can you keep someone to promises they don't remember?" He pricked his salad listlessly. "For years I waited patiently for the moment when he got his memory back. The arrival of Annika made me realize that that hope was in vain."

Madeleine shoved her hand over his and gently squeezed. "I understand your difficult position. Still, I maintain that running away is not a solution. We'll figure it out together."
It only took her a minute before she couldn't hold it anymore. "How far have you come?" she asked him seriously. "Kissing? Sex?"
Despite the situation, Lucas couldn't suppress his grin. "That's between me and the one who can't remember anything." His stern gaze was waved away with laughter.

They ate somewhat casually until their plates were empty and Lucas looked at her lost. "Tell me what to do, Madeleine, because I don't know anymore."
For a moment, she thought deeply. "I think it's fair to give Dylan a chance to rediscover his feelings for you. So we're going to stimulate his memory."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"You mean; What if it works and he doesn't feel the same anymore?" she remarked softly.
"You know me too well," he admitted with a faint smile.
"There are no guarantees, Lucas, but it is better than avoiding the whole situation."
He walked out with her.
"I have a plan, but it does mean I'm going to ask Annika for help in persuading Dylan."
Lucas ignored the sting of pain, but saw the wisdom in her words.
"Don't lose your nerve, my dear boy. Sincere feelings don't disappear overnight. Somewhere lies the key to his heart. Now it's just a matter of patience."
'Yes,' Lucas thought sighing. 'Showing patience in the presence of so much contempt is.... challenging or rather incredibly difficult.'

There was a reason why he resisted Dylan's presence tooth and nail. The duality in him became stronger. The struggle between his sense of superfluousness and his jealous nature. The attraction the man exerted on him grew when Annika was in the picture. It felt like he was literally trying to rip him off her side. If this plan was put into effect, he would have to find a way to suppress that tendency. He needed a buddy. Someone who could give him the necessary distraction.
'Someone who could make Dylan jealous', added his conscience viciously.
He could write off Bart, but then who?