Imagines/POVs

I just want to be loved.

"I just wanna be loved Jessica." I said turning away from my computer and looked at my friend.

She looked up from her phone and gave me a confused look. "What do you mean Jenna? You were just in a relationship. You are talking like you have never been in a relationship before, that Austin never loved you."

I knew she wouldn't understand. Why did I ever say anything to her? I turned back around and shook my head. "Never mind." I don't get why it had to happen to me. I am the 20-year-old virgin and all my friends are all in relationships happy as can be. I mean yes they have their problems but at the end of the day they still have each other.

"Jenna, talk to me. What's going on in your head right now?" Jessica got up from my bed and walked over to me. She laid a hand on my back and waited for me to speak up. "Tell me what has you like this?"

"You wouldn't understand. Nobody ever does. Before I had Austin I heard the same story from everyone trying to bring up my spirits, but after a while it got annoying that I heard the exact same thing from everyone I went too." I looked at her. "I was depressed before Austin and when we got together it was perfect. He was nice to me and treated me right, but the fact was that I couldn't talk to him about my real feelings because he turned around and put the attention on him. He never really cared about me, the one thing that he really wanted was someone there to give him attention, a body to stand next to him. Now that we are broken up I am back to where I was before him. I'm just tired of trying to look for someone to treat me right. The search is tiring and frankly I feel like I am running down a path that leads me nowhere."

Jessica knelt down and looked me in the eyes. "You have told me about this, and I didn't know what to do, and now that you are telling me this, I still don't know what to do but to tell you exactly what I have told you before, what you have heard countless of times." She stood back up and lifted my chin. "Jenna, there is somebody out there for you. You will find him one day and to be honest it is going to take a lot more of bad relationships and bad experiences for you to finally find him, but you will find him." She let go of my chin and went back to kneeling. She leaned in and hugged me. I didn't know I was crying until I felt a tear slip onto my lips and the saltiness spread through my mouth. She put her mouth next to my ear and whispered to me, "Everything is going to be okay. You will always have me in your life."

I don't know what was taking over me, but I grabbed her face and looked into her eyes. Searching for something in her deep green eyes, something that was right and calm. I put my hand behind her neck and pulled her closer to me. Naturally our eyes closed and I kissed her. I kissed her deep. The weird thing is that she kissed me back. I wasn't expecting that at all, to be honest I didn't think this situation was going to happen. I pushed her away. "I don't know what happened there. I am so sorry about that please just forget it." I stood up and walked away from her and sat down at my desk. I traced my lips still feeling hers on mine as I sat on the other side of the bed. What hell were you thinking Jenna? Why would you do that to your best friend?

Without knowing it she had made her way over to me and was kneeling in front of me. She laid her hands on my knees and looked up at me. I could feel her stare on me, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her, especially after what I just did. She didn't say anything but pulled my face towards her, she made me look at her. Before you know it, we were kissing again. She put a hand on the back of my head and grasped my hair, slightly pulling it. I could tell she wanted to do more, but I don't know if I was ready for that. Before we furthered anything I looked at her and said, "Are you sure you want to do this?" She never answered me, or you can say she answered with her movements. She pushed me back and climbed on top of me continuing to kiss me.

She stopped for a split second to look down at me. Her eyes were full of lust. "I don't know what is going on, but I want to do more with you. I mean if you feel comfortable with it, I won't push you."

I looked at her. Scanned her up and down examining everything I have never really looked at before. It took me a moment to say it, but deep inside I've been wanting it to happen. "Yes. Yes. God yes!" I said a little to eagerly. She giggled and covered her mouth with her hands. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around her as she sat on my lap. I leaned back and looked at her again. She winked at me and slowly took off her shirt. God this woman was gorgeous.

...........................................................................................................................

I laid there starring at her while she slept. I slightly brushed her cheek and smiled. Her skin was so soft, and her smell was breathtaking. I never thought this would happen, let alone with my best friend. She is everything that I want in my life, she's just over all amazing. I rubbed my hand down her back and followed it, god she was gorgeous. When I looked back at her face I was startled when I saw that her eyes were open. She slightly laughed at me. "What are you doing?" she asked me, smiling.

She rubbed my cheek. "I was just looking at you. Baffled at what happened." She smiled at me. "Why did that happen? I don't think I am gay, but I definitely enjoyed that.

She frowned at me. "Don't say it like that Jenna, it's offensive. But if we are being honest, I've been out about being gay."

I sat up and looked at her. "What the hell? Why didn't you tell me? I am your best friend right?"

She looked at me but not at my eyes. "You really should cover those up because it's making me think of other things." She looked me in the eyes and winked. She was so stupid. I giggled and pulled the blanket over my chest. She sat up and grabbed my hand. "To answer your question. I didn't tell you because I didn't know how you would react. Plus, I've had a crush on you since the first day I laid eyes on you. I just didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I know, I know I shouldn't have fallen for the straight girl, but you were just amazing. Plus, we clicked right away, and your personality is just I don't even know how to describe it. It was hard not to fall for you is all I can say. You don't know how long I've wanted to do things with you, but I couldn't do anything. Not until you did something. And I never would have thought this day would have come."

I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed it slightly. "Wow. I don't know what to say, except that I wish you would have told me sooner. Cause god damn I would have loved to have done that sooner." We both laughed and she leaned in and kissed me on the lips, then on the cheek, and then lastly on the forehead.

"You're amazing Jenna."

"No, you are amazing Jessica." We smiled at each other and then laid down.