I'll Last Forever

Pretending is not Believing

Hello! It has been a long time!!! I am so sorry for not updating sooner. I hope you are all well. Thanks for sticking with this and putting up with me! No, I am not abandoning this story!! As always, thoughts are in italics. Thank you all so much!

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When you live for over a thousand years, events change you. You see all types of carnage plaguing the Earth. From wars to genocide it seems to be never ending. From causing the carnage to witnessing, that constant exposure plants a seed in you. Whether you were born from evil or turned into it, you can't escape from what you are. Stiles knew this, he really did. But, it was nice to feel human again. To at least pretend to have humanity was so important to him, but, he got lost in the delightful bliss of being 'human'. Stiles twisted his pretending into him believing that he was something more than a monster. Sometimes feeling that he could have a soul in his body, and a good conscious in his mind. Interacting with humans on a daily basis that didn't involve eating the table next to him. Instead Stiles mattered to them. And because the fake, human Stiles mattered to the humans and wolves of Beacon Hills, they believed his lies too. Never suspecting that Stiles is a monster...And Stiles, sitting on the cold bathroom tile next to Klaus' letter, realized that was his mistake, believing that he could be anything but a monster.

Stiles always knew that either Klaus would bring him back to the life of killing, or the blood would lure him in, stealing any will to not bite into pulsing flesh. But Stiles had reasons to stay on the clean path of pretending to be human. He had a family of wolves and a human. That human, Noah, trusted Stiles enough to take him in and live with the thousand year old vampire. It was baffling to Stiles, that Noah had that much faith in Stiles. After all, Noah have never seen him as a full monster, just as a monster pretending to be a human. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Stiles shook his head, not wanting the harmful thoughts to endure. He slowly got up from the cold bathroom tile, joints cracking as he did so, leaving Klaus' letter behind.

If only I could leave Klaus behind. Stiles thought as he took in his pale face. Examining every feature as he has done a million times, wondering what his life would be like without Klaus' evil loyalty to his thousand year old siblings. Staring at his never changing face, worry entered Stiles.

Niklaus is here at Beacon Hills, already causing carnage and death to this town. All of those kills are probably his doing. The lady outside the bar, the girl at the high school basement, and the police officers are all a cry for my attention. Klaus' game of how many deaths until I return to him. Stiles rubbed his face, hoping that this isn't the rain before the storm. Stiles knows that he cannot give up what he has fought himself and Klaus for- a caring family and a sense of humanity.

The vampire opens his eyes, determination washing over his face, "If it is a fight he wants, that is what he is going to get". Stiles took one last look of his reflection, grabbing Klaus' letter and turning away, closing the bathroom door to cast the room into darkness.

Stiles stepped into the hallway, looking for any sign of his human friend. Making his way into the living room, Stiles noticed Noah sitting on the couch.

Both men looked at each other, concern and fear evident in their eyes. Noah was obviously still in total shock over the brutality at the high school. Even with the fear, Noah was the first to speak.

"What are we going to do, Stiles? How am I going to explain what happened at the high school? Those officers had families, for god sakes!" Noah greatly shuddered at the images of the destruction that lay at the school. In all his time as a sheriff and an insider to the supernatural, Noah has never witnessed anything even remotely similar to that. Has never smelled so much blood, nor has seen such evil. It was a cold slap to the face as what Niklaus is, and what Stiles desperately tries not to be.

Stiles slumped next to Noah, choosing his next words very carefully, "You don't have to worry about what happened at the high school. Niklaus said he would take care of it, and that means all of it. He doesn't want anyone else to get their hands on me, he wants to do that himself." Stiles sighed, knowing that even though his twisted brother causes such destruction in his path, Niklaus would not cause the same to Stiles. He would not risk letting the entire human people of Beacon Hills know about Stiles' vampirism. However, that doesn't mean he wouldn't hurt Stiles' friends.

Noah glanced down, the telltale sign of tears threatening to spill from his exhausted eyes. "How can we do that to those families? They were my friends, Stiles. I can't do that. I can't pretend that they are missing! God, Stiles, there were 4 lifeless people strewn across the walls! How can that just disappear?!"

Stiles "Noah, I am so sorry what you had to go through and the deaths of those officers. Those people did not deserve that, and neither did you. Klaus has a way of making these things disappear. He has to, because that is not the first time it has happened and it won't be the last".

Noah slumped more into his seat, the guilt threatening to make him fall through the floor and deep in the bedrock below.

"Noah, I know it is not right, it is horrible."

"Does it get any easier?" Noah raised his eyes to meet Stiles', mumbling his question, afraid of the answer.

Stiles looked at Noah's appearance, disheveled and reeking of both guilt and fear, "No it doesn't. You learn to live with the guilt. Go on with your life as best as you can. Do what you can do now, not what you could of done in the past. Noah, you are not to blame for this, my brother is."

And so am I. Stiles thought with guilt.

Both guilt ridden friends broke eye contact, just nodding and content with each others company, after living with the horrific tragedy at the high school. A secret only two original vampires and a human can tell.

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A/N: So here it is!! Another chapter after all this time! I wanted to focus on the aftermath with Stiles and Noah because that is very important. Poor Noah! I just wanna hug him! Thank you for putting up with me and my slow as ever updates.

Hug!

-BB