Queen of the Ashes

Chapter Thirteen

Narcissus:
to covet
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«Y-you got me-me flowers?» Ethan asked dumbfounded, eyes on the beautiful violet plants that'd grown quite a bit over the weeks. Maze nodded before she turned to look at Ethan. When she noticed the adoration in his eyes she rolled her own.

«You made sure to take advantage of the situation, turning me into a fucking cliché...» she murmured while continuing to roast some chicken bites. Ethan couldn't get over the fact that the fire alarm hadn't gone off yet and had to make sure the device wasn't in pieces, so he had gone upstairs for the first time five weeks.

It was truly beneficial that he was so used to entertaining himself and loved to stay in and read, otherwise the isolation would've driven him mad.

After many pleas Maze had allowed him to stay and he had noticed the flowers as he sat down by the dinner table.

«S-sorry... ma-maybe I should have bought y-you them instead...s-since they symbolize a-apologetic emotions and th-the desire for forgiveness» Ethan smiled, an evident sadness in his eyes as he looked down at his fingers on his lap.

He couldn't believe that Maze was still here with him after so many weeks. He didn't think she'd stay this long, but she hadn't left his side for over an hour, not once. It made him feel worse about almost leaving her for his own selfishness in the worst way possible. He had forced her to put her own life on pause. He didn't even know if she had a job. Thinking of it, he didn't know much about her at all...which only made him feel worse as he had hurt her so badly despite that they barely knew each other.

«I-I'm r-really sorry M-Maze...» he suddenly apologized, his nails digging into his palm as he rolled his hands into fists. He felt the well-known feeling of guilt build in his throat and his eyes stung in an all too common manner of frustration, but he forced himself to not let it show. He didn't want Maze to see him struggle because she didn't look too good lately and he worried it was because she had forgotten to take care of her own needs because she was too busy tending to his. In reality the truth was way more complicated and there was more than one reason for her change in appearance.

But Ethan was a bad liar when it came to her and she could easily spot how his eyes became distant and how he clenched his jaw in order to keep his lower lips from trembling.

She felt her own form tense and cursed herself for it. She wanted to comfort him, but her nature made her stay put and rather continued cooking. She was usually the reason for pain, not one to try and chase it away with loving actions. Ever since she lost her life only pain, anger, and lust had consumed her and she had thought that was all her afterlife had to offer. But as the days with Ethan passed, the embers in the hollowness of her chest had begun to fill her up with warmth as they ignited with each glance into his mismatching eyes.

It went against the sole creation of demons, against her punishment, against karma, and it drove her mad. The conflicted emotions constantly tearing her body in two polar opposite directions: she wanted to hurt Ethan, but at the same time comfort him. This combined with her slightly weakened state made her act on rage rather than wisdom and she found herself unable to keep herself from snapping at him when he continued to apologize.

«Stop fucking apologizing! It can't erase the past»

«I-I'm..I-I know... b-but...I r-regret what I di-did....» Maze forced herself to take a breath while closing her eyes. After a while she opened them and began scooping the dish into a plate before she turned and placed the food in front of him.

"Beating yourself up because of it won't help"

"B-but y-you seem to..b-be doing that..." Ethan hesitantly admitted, eyes peeking up at Mazes through his brown locks. In the beginning her intimidating gaze always made him look down but now he felt rather lost in her beautiful dark -almost black- orbs, that seemed to only grow darker by each day that passed. Maybe she had a condition? He thought to himself.