Something New

Chapter 4

I wake up from my phone that is buzzing underneath my cheek. I must have turned around in my sleep. When I look at the screen, I see that I have 13 new messages and 5 missed calls, all of them from Hailey. All of the anger that I felt last night, comes rushing back. I don't even look at the messages she sent me. I walk downstairs and put some cereal in a bowl and bring it back to my room. But I don't eat anything. I just stare at myself in the mirror, but I don't see anything. I regret everything about Joe! All summer long I have been wondering whether I loved him or the attention he gave me. I have been wondering whether it was my own fault. How did I not know?

My phone buzzes again. Out of frustration I pick up the phone. 'I don't want to talk to you, Hailey!' I yell through the phone.

'Hope?' Hailey is crying. Hailey never cries. 'Hope is that you?'

'You called me. Who else would it be?' I fire.

'Oh Hope, I am so happy you picked up the phone! I am so so so sorry! I swear to god I didn't tell him anything!' She cries.

'So, a little birdie told him?' I ask.

'No, that is not how it went down. Please, let me explain, Hope?' She begs.

'Fine.' Is all I say.

'When he came back downstairs, Jason asked me whether you have a boyfriend, because you are so uptight around him. So, I told him that you just broke up with Joe. It slipped out. I am so sorry! I didn't tell him what happened. I swear, Hope! Please forgive me!'

I am still angry, and I know I have the right to be. But she is my best friend, and truth be told without Hailey I would have fallen apart. She got me through it. She dragged me through the summer break. I am doing better because of her.

'You are forgiven.' I speak the verdict.

'Thank you, Hope! I won't happen again. I promise! She says. 'Wait, how did you find out?' She asks.

'When you left, my protective side took over. Jason and I wrote notes on paper and showed them to each other through the window. I told him not to hurt you. Then he asked me who Joe is.' I sigh. 'Apparently me telling him not to hurt you, gave him a sudden permission to hurt me.' I pout.

'I am sorry, Hope!' She says again.

'Please, stop saying that you're sorry the whole time. You made a mistake. I was angry. You explained. I forgave you and I am a little less angry.' I give her a weak smile.

'Okay.' She says, but she stays quiet.

'Hailey, do you think the other students will still be talking abo it when school starts?' I ask carefully, not knowing if I want to hear the answer.

'I didn't want to tell you before, because I was hoping it would stop. But yes, they are still talking about it. It is not something they will forget soon, I am afraid.'

I swallow. 'Thank you for your honesty. I was stupid to think otherwise.'

'I have your back always, you know that! I will be glued to your side on the first day of school. And all the other days till graduation.'

'Yes, thank you! I know.' I hang up the phone. I know she means well, but it isn't helping. I have been avoiding this conversation al summer long. Before the last day if junior year I was everything everyone wanted to be. I had the highest GPA, was on the all A+ honor roll, I was captain of every extracurricular activity the school offers for girls, and everyone liked me. I wasn't like that because I wanted to be an overachiever, I really enjoyed doing it. oh, and the quarterback was boyfriend. Now I still have all of that minus the boyfriends, friends, respect and dignity. Joe ruined everything for me. Or maybe I did? You know when people say they wasted so much time on past relationships, that it wouldn't matter. Because you learned something from it, and at one point you did love that person. I really wasted two years of my life on Joe.