Something New

Chapter 9

The clock downstairs strikes noon by the time, it wakes me up. I feel disoriented. Mom or dad, maybe both, must have been in here when I was sleeping. I am changed into my pajamas and someone took off my makeup. It is just like the last time it happened. I still feel numb. Maybe this is my breaking point? That moment you just don't care anymore. I feel like I don't care anymore. I feel nothing but cold and emptiness. I step under the shower. But I doesn't get any warmer, so I turn up the heat. Trying to defeat the cold that seems to have settled inside me. Sadly enough, the heat does not show the same effect on me as it does on ice cubes. When I step out of the shower and look in the mirror, my skin is red. Just like it was yesterday from shame and anger. I shouldn't have been surprised by what Joe did. I should know now what he is like. But Jason... he promised me he wouldn't leave my side. He promised he would be there. That is the only reason I went to the party in the first place. But he didn't fulfill those promises. And I blame him for that. If he would have been there, Joe would not have done what he did yesterday. Because Joe cannot risk giving one of his teammates a bad reputation. It would have looked like people didn't care as much. But without Jason, all by myself, I looked weak. And in all honesty, I needed Jason to be there to stop me from doing what I did. I am afraid that he might be the only one who has that effect on me.

'Hope, sweetie?' I hear mom say from the other side of the door.

'I don't want to talk about it, mom!' I say.

'Are you sure? You seemed so upset when Jason was here yesterday. So, did he.'

'Yes, mom. I'm sorry. I am just tired.' I say, breathing shakily.

'Okay.' She says disappointed. But I think she would be even more disappointed when she hears about yesterday. 'Well, Andrew is here.'

That is right. I told him yesterday that he could stop by today. 'That's fine. Please tell him to wait in my room.'

'Okay.' She says again. I can hear her walk away. Not much later I hear footsteps again, but these are not my mom's. These are Andrew's. He sits down on my bed. I can see him sitting there, his legs crossed and covered by 5 pillows. That used to be his regular spot. I was so angry at him for dropping like a rock in the ocean, but what he did for me... I will never forget that.

'I'll be right out.' I yell through the door. 'Make yourself comfortable.'

'Honey, you know I already am!' I hear him say. Andrew is very different now, than from when I first met him. Back then he wasn't out yet. He acted overly manly. He was always with the boys, he was the class clown, but in an annoying way. And when he was around girls, he treated us like objects. He even was the running back for the football team. Andrew asked me out once, I said yes because I though it might be good to get to know him better. He couldn't be the jerk, he was at school all the time. I challenged myself not to judge him and get to know the real him. During the date he came out of his shell, and I just knew. The evening ended with both of us in tears when he came out to me. It was a friendship both of us didn't expect to have, but truly needed. From that moment on, he changed into who he really is. He started hanging with the girls, dress nicely. He became the class clown in a funny way, and he was a nice person to be around. He did remain being a running back for the football team, because he is just simply the best. He is the player who has the biggest girl fanbase. Something all the other boys are jealous off.

I put on my underwear and open the door to my bedroom.

'Wow!' Andrew says his eyes wide open. 'You might turn me back with that body.' He tries to make me laugh.

'I guess this is my "revenge body". I didn't have anything else to do this summer.' I say.

He looks down. 'I really am sorry, Hope!' Andrew apologizes again.